Girlfailure Zone

I'm Lost and you're stuck here with me on my blog!

This is my Gravity Falls corner where I am insane about old men all day every day! I also draw and write (to varying levels of success). Everything I make and post is more made for fun than quality, but if people enjoy it then I am absolutely thrilled.

This post here is for me to introduce myself and link my work as well as others' works which I'm obsessed with!

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Who am I?

I'm Lost (a pseudonym subject to change) and I'm a 22 year old psychology student and former art student. I'm aroace and I have autism and ADHD, and all of these things show very prominently in my work. I've recently gotten into fanfic and gone head over heels for it. I'm constantly coming up with new ideas that really excite me! I will list these all below for ease of organisation!

I've not really gotten an ask as of yet but I love to talk with people so definitely feel free to ask away! I love answering questions.

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My Stuff

Right now I have a mix of AUs and fics that are in varying stages of being written up, conceptualised, made, etc. Below I will list what I currently have along with brief synopses, but I will hopefully update it as I go along! If any of them are of particularly interesting to you I'm delighted to talk about them. I usually upload on both this blog and My A03 Account

Current works/in progress:

Relentless Chase - A long(ish) series fic which is character relationship focused.

Ford is a detective, Bill is a crimelord, Stan is one of Bill's top guys and Fiddleford and Emma-May work with Ford. A large theme of this one is obsession - Ford's obsession with trying to find his brother, his obsession with solving things and chasing down leads, Bill and Ford's whole weird obsession with each other, Stan's with keeping Ford safe, etc. It's basically a fun sort of conflict of interests fic where the only people enjoying themselves for the most part are Ford and Bill lol. This AU is self-indulgent for me and is a bit of a playing with paper dolls thing to enjoy.

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Orbit of a Trinary System - a short-medium series fic which acts as a sort of character study of Ford for me.

Set post-canon, Ford's mind is spontaneously fractured into 3 distinct pieces due to a mechanism set up by Bill long in the past. Bill attempts to use the situation to trap Ford in the Theraprism with him, whilst his family try to show they can take care of him just fine. Each side has to prove themselves by entering Ford's mindscape and attempting to reunite all 3 pieces together. How much those pieces are willing to cooperate is another story.

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Apocalypse Squared - unclear length series fic, an add-as-I-go type of fic with a more overtly humorous tone than the others.

This is set as an 80s weirdmageddon, where Bill is just the tiniest bit more proactive and manages to strike before Ford installs the retinal scanner. Without the metal plate, Ford can't keep Bill from getting the equation out of his mind, and the apocalypse goes global. Bill is enjoying winning, before Stan swoops in and rescues Ford. Now the twins are on the run from Bill (and Stan's own connections) whilst Ford tries to figure out how to undo the apocalypse. Ford also discovers along the way that he is unkillable in the comes-back-to-life way. There's definitely angst, but also a lot of Gallows humour. Bill is pathetic and wants that cookie so effin' bad.

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Death and Three Obstacles - unclear length series fic, tonal whiplash between light hearted and dark

Ford dies to avoid Bill. In the same moment, Bill possesses his body to trap it in a state of suspended animation until he can put Ford's soul back in it. Unfortunately, this also means he can't leave it without the body dying. He calls Stan and Fiddleford to come help him figure out a way to revive their mutual favourite nerd - meanwhile, Ford is now a ghost and very displeased with the situation. Everyone is experiencing a different genre in this situation (Bill, Romance; Ford, Psychological Horror; Stan, Sit-Com; Fiddleford, Tragedy) and the tone changes depending on whose perspective is being written in. An uneasy alliance forms between Bill, Stan and Fidds which Ford is also not too pleased about. What could go wrong?

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The Wounded Animal Instinct - One Shot

A Feral Ford one shot set around the idea of concealing injuries as a means of self-protection. Set shortly after weirdmageddon, when Stan notices that something is off.

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Circuit Breaker - short-medium series fic, darker in tone, switching POVs

An 80s Stan Twins fic where Stan's past catches up to him before Ford's postcard does. In desperation, Ford tries to cast protective spells to ward Bill off as his 72 hours reaches its end - with one working... not as intended. Stanley dies, and the two of them find their locations swapped. Now the two of them are implicated in one another's messy complications, and need to find a way to protect themselves and each other (and avoid ending the world, if possible)

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Take One for the Team? - a very stupid one-shot, crack taken semi-seriously

A Theraprism / handyman Bill-adjacent fic which is just playing with/poking fun at the typical tropes of the genre. Features mortifying the old men, Bill not really being any much better just down bad, and a therapist who assuredly does not have a valid licence.

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From Icarus to Theseus - a collection of short one-shots / vaguely character study

Ford has a lot of mythological comparisons in his characterisation (infamously, Icarus) so I thought why the hell not throw them all together and make him like, reflect or something.

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Stan^4 - Unknown length Timestuck AU

This is the Nightmare of all Twins in Time AUs where there are 4 Stans and 4 Fords coexisting in the 80s. Worst of all? They're the worst options for which ones to be there: featuring, Feral Ford (post-canon), Memory Lapse Stan (post-canon), Paranoia Ford (1982), Mullet Stan (1982), just post-science fair teenage Ford and Stan, and child Ford and Stan. Everything that can go wrong will and does. Bill is here also.

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AUs/Fics Planned:

MirrorWalker AU - intention for a very long series fic, with emphasis on worldbuilding and the multiverse. Exceptionally self-indulgent.

In this world, early on in his time in the multiverse, Ford ends up in the mirror realm where he encounters Bloody Mary. Both of them are very pissed off at Bill, and Ford decides a good way to keep Bill from controlling him is to offer Mary an even stronger influence over him. At some point he makes a similar deal with Jhesselbraum. Through his time in the multiverse, Ford vaguely ship-of-theseuses himself, selling more and more different parts of himself to various beings in exchange for the strength and power needed to survive and defeat Bill. Mary is perhaps not so benevolent as initially assumed. Ford ends up as some sort of bounty hunter. The MirrorWalking aspect derives from his main skillset here - where he is able to look across places through mirrors and (in a more limited capacity) use mirrors to jump through the mirror realm to 'teleport' places. He happens to be able to look, but not teleport into, Dimension 46'\ - where members of Bill's Zodiac alone are able to see him through the mirror. This... freaks a lot of people out. More to follow.

Short Comic AU Ford design

Hook, Line and Sixer! - a short? fic idea involving not time loops, but the idea of looping in general

Here Ford has a 1 day amnesia loop after sending Stan the postcard. After arriving and realising something was very wrong, Stan stays and sets about his new mission. Every day, Bill and Stan both have to try and convince Ford to / not to turn on the portal. Stan has to succeed every day, and Bill only has to succeed once. This means Stan is frantically trying to find a cure whilst Bill is pretty happy with this setup.

Point and Laugh(?) - One shot - funny maybe lmao

Ford visits Bill in the Theraprism but has the opposite reaction to the usual depiction. He's bitter and loaded with adrenaline and he goes to laugh at and spite Bill. It's very cathartic, and he's super excited to come back and do it next week. Nobody thinks this is the most healthy coping mechanism but like, they can't really stop him.

A Human's Touch - One shot - yes haha I used the song name sue me - very much more sombre / trauma-focused

This centres around Ford's trauma surrounding touch. I read a lot of fics which discuss how Ford is someone who is very comforted by physical affection and how touch-starved he is through his time in the portal - but I've also seen a lot of content around how Bill would use affection and soft touches to try and manipulate Ford. Here I combine these concepts and posit: Ford has been given physical affection in the past 30 years, but it has all been from Bill and preceded something bad. Stan notices that Ford can no longer seem to stomach a lot of the affection he used to show him. More from here.

In for a Penny - silly AU that maybe will be made into something

Stan calls Ford before his deal with Bill whilst actively dying, but Ford comes and gets him to a hospital. However, Ford can't afford his medical costs so he goes off the rails and robs a bank. Crime time ensues

[more to follow!]

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Inspirations

This list will assuredly grow because I simply can't name every thing at once haha but hopefully as I recall each they'll come back to me

My Favourite Fic: A Promise and A Threat by @clarisimart

I just love how Bill and Ford are written here. It encapsulates so much of their dynamic and the unique ways it's fucked up and why they're drawn back to one another so often. It just feels like such a true representation of them.

I also love the worldbuilding of it. Basically all the concepts are added are canon to me now lol.

The mystery element is genuinely one of the most engaging storylines I've read - I seriously struggled to put it down! I really felt like I was putting things together in step with each character and trying to form my own conclusions, which is something I often struggle to do in literature. <3

The arrtttttttt

I love the way each side-character from the series is treated and all the extremely unique takes and struggles they all manage. It's just altogether amazing.

You should all read this right now.

Extremely Powerful Fic: It's a Good Day to Die (Again) by @aroace-get-out-of-my-face

This concept was exceptionally visceral and exceptionally well-executed

It had a hand in inspiring my Relentless Chase fic!

I think this sort of just fundamentally rewired how I process these two (in the best way possible)

The ratio of amount of words:impact it had on me is insane

Comics I love: Frankenghost AU collection by @trekkerac

After spending a lot of time lurking, wanting to follow up and look at more of the instalments of this made me actually get a tumblr account

The lighthearted tone and accompanying art style scratch something so great in my brain??? Like it's insane they're some of my favourite comics I encountered in the fandom.

Fully introduced me to the idea of one/both twins being dead which??? Is now fully one of my favourite sorts of AU. SO BRILLIANT!!

Comics I love 2: Ghost Stans by @cyphertronix

oh my goddd this whole situation is so crazy to me

I will also note I also really liked their Polyglot Stans comic :>

But this one made me feel physically ill (in a good way) and I have so many questions. It's been a delight to follow it and see what new gets added!

It added a lot of dimensions to how I think about the use of ghosts in Gravity Falls fics. Just huge recommend overall

Changed how I see them: Instinct by @artsymeeshee

I absolutely adore their takes on Stan and Ford's dynamic

This (and their other comics) are drawn so compellingly that they've become one of the first things I picture when I imagine soft Stan Twins interactions and Overprotective Ford stuff

Just absolutely gorgeous writing 10/10

Like a third eye opening for Sea Grunks for me

Hell yeah aroace beam

Ford really be like “quit your job. Join my emo band” to Stan except instead of an emo band it’s being a detective except that I doubt ford has even thought “oh Stan could join me in my career” (I mean. Stan could probably help with figuring out criminals considering how long he spent as one but I really doubt he’d wanna work in law enforcement at all lol). So instead it’s. “Quit your job. Come live in my basement :D”

Ford is so focused on just getting Stan back (and dismantling a criminal organization yipeeeee) that I feel he’s failed to consider… pretty much everything else lol

In defence of Ford, crime guy is not legally considered a profession per se. Sure, Stan is getting paid to perform a service but that service is just breaking numerous laws. Like, he’s killing people sometimes. I don’t think Ford feels bad about the idea of stopping him from doing that like at all. 😭👍

Ford knows how hard it is to like get out of crime, so his approach would probably be a combo of totally wiping Stan’s record clean (allowing him to get a normal job if he wants one) and/or just being happy to provide for him. Like, Ford makes quite a lot of money more or less being the feds’ specialest little detective. He can more than afford to support 2 people on his salary.

His primary concern is 1. That Stan’s current ‘career’ is dangerous, exploitative and likely to land him in an early grave 2. That it’s like a quicksand trap, where once you get in you can’t really escape even if you want to (and he wants Stan to have autonomy) 3. He wants to be a part of Stan’s life as long as Stan wants him there too (which he does) and primarily he is seeing that Enigma is the one big obstacle in the way of that

Ford is more or less making the executive decision that he does not want his brother to be like. Making money exploiting other people whilst caught in a job that he can’t leave without risk of death and where he cannot protect him.

He definitely hasn’t twigged the way Enigma operates though and the sort of cult-like way it holds followers. That one is definitely gonna be a surprise; but it’s probably gonna just light a greater fire under his feet to shut it down because that means that they’re possibly emotionally manipulating his brother.

I think this is one of my favorites bits you’ve ever written, HELP.

Thank you kindly I regard this as the pinnacle of my career

Ford dude cut it out you're scaring the hoes

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Chapter 16 - Counterplay

Stan knew he and Emma-May looked guilty as sin returning to the other two. He could tell the other two knew as well from the way both of them eyed him. Okay—the lankier man was actually eyeing his wife, but Ford was looking at him with deeply analytical eyes as though he were a specimen of some sort. Or a puzzle to solve.

He could see why the other maniacs called it disconcerting. He was fighting off sweating actual bullets.

“Hello. What was that all about?” Ford took no time cutting to the chase.

“Don’t worry about it, hun.” Emma-May said far more nonchalantly than Stan could’ve brought himself to right now. Despite being a professional conman, he frequently found throughout his life that Ford was simply not a man he could lie to. It appeared that fact held up after all this time.

“Sweetheart…” Fiddlesticks had paced around to his wife, leaning his head near hers. He had a nervous energy about him that Stan couldn’t help likening to a kicked dog, which his wife seemed to pretty quickly concede to, gently whispering her explanation in his ear.

That left Stan and Ford standing across from each other. The older twin’s arms had crossed, and he was looking distinctly unimpressed by being kept out of the loop. Fiddleford’s poorly schooled panicked expression only seemed to deepen the furrowing of his brows.  

Eventually, the lankier man shot upright, a strange cross between demanding and pleading to Ford, almost shaking him by the collar of his shirt.

“Stanferd, you did what?!” The phrase made Ford’s eyes squint as he pieced together what this could be about, placing the context, tone and wording across each other and cross-examining them, until.

Ford huffed indignantly, gaze fixing on Stanley. “You told on me?!” He cried to him like they were kids again.

Stan threw his hands up. “It came up! I thought she knew! I’m amazed you didn’t!”

Ford gestured to the man stuck to the front of the shirt. “This is why.” He was jostled a bit more as a further cry of outrage left the man. Ford, apparently used to this response, had more or less ragdolled and accepted his fate.

It would’ve been very funny objectively, Stan noted, if the situation wasn’t so dire.

“I got out and came back though, right? Why are you all looking at me like that?” His face scrunched.

Emma-May gave him a light slap upside the back of the head. “Well now we gotta kill the crime boss, and I was not fixing to put that on my bucket list.”

“What?! Why?” Ford answered – maybe too quickly- with a somewhat disturbed tone for a man who Stan knew had killed before.

“Why—?! FORD—you—” Emma-May threw her hands up in frustration. Stan was at this point feeling like he was third wheeling a domestic conversation. “Gee I wonder why publicly announcing yourself to be a crime boss’ weakness might be a bad idea?!”

Stan watched Ford’s expression drop into a neutral expression, and for a moment he thought he finally understood the others’ concerns. Too bad the universe hates Stanley Pines with a passion. Instead, Ford’s shoulders quickly untensed and he threw his head back, relaxing in Fiddleford’s grip, as he let out a soft laugh.

That response was enough to let him get released by the other man, who looked equally as deeply unsettled by that response as Stan did.

“Oh-okay-okay.” Ford composed himself, smiling fondly. “Thank god, you made me worry for a moment there.”

“Ford.” Stan found himself saying more sternly than he expected, “this is serious.” He couldn’t suppress the growing frustration from his reaction. Surely he realised the implications of this for him, his safety? Stan was almost a bit hurt at the idea his brother would care so little about it.

“Sorry- Sorry, yes- I know.” His brother seemed to try and compose himself further, releasing a breath. “I just—you made it sound very dire. I was expecting much worse news. This was a relief.”

“A relief?!” Fiddlesticks looked ready to shake him again.

 “Well, yes.” Ford slipped into that effortless confidence which was probably born out of some sort of madness. “I mean, nothing about our plans has to change in light of this. Maybe an increase on security?”

“Stanford.” Emma-May was similarly frowning. “I think you’re missing just how big of an issue this is.”

“I assure you, I’m not. Think about it,” he waved a hand, “the news won’t be out immediately. It’ll take time to travel, and for others to prepare. So it’s not as though we’ll be having a crowd of gangs at our doorstep immediately. I’d give it a few weeks at least – perhaps a few months, even.” He spoke matter-of-fact.

“That’s not a lot of time, Ford.”

“It’s plenty!” Ford supplied, cheerfully. “It just means I have to finish my job before that happens. No need for killing just yet.”

“Ford—”

“What? It’s not like anyone would have a reason to exploit his feelings when he’s in jail. Or if his entire organisation has collapsed. Which was my intention coming here, anyway. This is great, actually—I was thinking I was genuinely going to have to abandon the case; now the choice has been made up for us.” Ford once more had the audacity to smile and sigh in relief.

Three stares, at varying levels of deep frustration, incredulity and concern were levelled his way at the response, as the very happy looking man seemed to be off in one of his planning-daydreams again.

“Stanford. People are going to be coming after you. They’ll want to kill you.” The woman urged.

“Yes, yes. That’s sort of a given in my line of work. You know I can handle myself.” He tilted his head a bit as though this was obvious information.

“What happened to staying back and letting us help you?! You said you wouldn’t be reckless!”

“Of course, but our hand has been sort of forced here, no? Besides, the process in arresting Cipher and killing him wouldn’t be that radically different to begin with. Given the hierarchy structure, if we went for the boss first, it would be particularly simple to dismantle the rest of the organisation.” He put a finger to his chin, thoughtfully.

“Ford.” Stan felt his chest dropping a bit. He… didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t want Ford locked away, he didn’t want Cipher dead, he didn’t want Enigma gone—did he? It would be his way out from this sort of life, he supposed. And fault-free. Nobody would go after him for deserting. But at the same time… this was the best job he’d had yet. And… and he liked the others. “This is not a good idea.”

Ford blinked owlishly at him, before putting two and two together. Unfortunately, he calculated it as five. “Oh! Don’t worry. I won’t ask you to betray the group or anything. I know from experience what happens to double-crossers.” He waved a hand. “I’m perfectly capable of handling this without inside workers.”

Stan felt like he was joining a queue for people who wanted to shake his brother by the lapels. The urge was only cut short by the way his brother’s mind seemed to tick on in his hesitance, and he caught that look in his eye again.

Raising one hand near his chin, his brother had broken out into a smirk – once more revealing his second face, making no effort to mask the insanity in the narrowing of his eyes, or the way the light caught the lenses of his glasses. Stan recognised that look from before, as his brother muttered to himself, far more sharply. And giddily.

“This is going to be fun.”

. . .

There was a moment of disconcerted silence as Ford seemed to deafen himself to the rest of the group, slipping into a light pacing which felt akin to a panther’s prowl around the area, clearly deep in chaotic thought. It sort of gave Stan a chill, and he let himself wonder why before the horror dawned on him that it was in fact because it felt akin to Cipher’s mad planning.

Looking to the others, they seemed to be grimacing equally. Stan gave them a sort of desperate, questioning look, to which Emma-May seemed to just give a tired nod. Okay, sure – this was normal for Ford then.

His twin was buzzing with excitement, clearly, but it was presenting the way a predator gets excited for a hunt. This was what was fun for him?! Stan tried to think back on whether he had shown any signs of being a little psycho as a kid or teen but couldn’t find anything. The closest result he turned up was the deviousness he knew he was capable of when they organised pranks together.  

There was a few minutes of uncomfortable silence between the three people who did not enjoy this reaction, before out of the corner of Stan’s eye he caught a hint of silver and his blood ran cold.

“Stan-?” He caught his brother question as he took off running.

“I gotta handle something—!” he called over his shoulder as he quickly left the group behind, in hot pursuit of the figure who had similarly started to run.

Damn it. He could handle if it was Py, Key, 8—he could even handle Morph—but goddamn Kryptos?!

He had to catch up before the man got him in serious trouble.

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He really wasn’t a huge fan of when Ford got like this. Don’t get him wrong, he admired and respected and loved every part of him – and there was something infectious about the deep passion he showed in this headspace.

It’s just that he didn’t think all that clearly or—well, sanely.

He reckoned it was the same part of him that kept him up all night, twiddling strings between pictures and papers. The same one that threw himself into danger at the first opportunity because it might be his only shot at something. The one that apparently pointed a gun at his own head last week.

Stanford Pines was many things. Reasonable was not always one of them. So, when he was caught up in obsession, it was very difficult to talk him out of. That stubbornness could be a blessing and a curse. It wasn’t like he and Emy lacked any of their own quirks – far from it, he liked the fact that all three of them recognised and understood each other in such a way that they could all have their little things and it not be a big deal. Em never blinked twice when he double-checked the traps for the third time that night, and he never paused when she disappeared off for days at a time because she caught something interesting, or how she kept every item in its own very specific place in their room. Much the same, they simply understood that once Ford got invested in something, there was little you could do to stop him thinking about it non-stop. It’s what made him so good at his job, after all.

It wasn’t often a problem for anyone, is the gist of it. But damn it, he and Emy hated the way Ford got himself into trouble over and over without regard for himself. They would tell him to stop and explain how upsetting it was, and he would stop, and apologise – and mean it; yet, it would always come back one way or another. It was almost like the man couldn’t understand that putting himself in danger in one scenario was equally as big of an issue if he did it in another; like each time was its own, unrelated problem to any others. He also never seemed to understand their concern on his own. Fiddleford knew that when he was told outright, he would be very upset at having caused them any amount of distress – but it was just never something he could put together by himself.

Stanford Pines regularly got so far into his own head that he disregarded his safety, his own bodily needs, and the concerns of others. He would get so fixated on a single problem that he would not associate it with past patterns. He just couldn’t understand when he was like this.

It was something to work on for definite, but this case in particular seemed to bring it out in him all the more. Fiddleford worried it was because the cat-and-mouse game he was playing with the dangerous criminal was with someone equally obsessive as him for the first time. Like enablers, pushing one another that little bit further over the edge each time, until both of them were far, far out of their own depths – and still going, yet.

He had no idea what to do about it.

Ems was disconcerted by it too, which he knew meant it was bad. She was always the first to rationalise the problem and explain why the concern wasn’t necessary this time. If she was worried about him, then things had really gone wrong.

The good news was that Ford was actually willing to share his notes this time. William S. Euclid – Bill Cipher – was a name he had supplied and Emma-May had dutifully gone right to work at researching. Fiddleford suspected that her eagerness was a mix between excitement of actually getting to make a deep dive into all the things that had been bothering her about the case, and the idea that if she knew more about this guy, she could just kill him.

It seemed as though she had a determination to save Ford from his own destructive spiral by cutting it off at the source. Fidds worried about how Ford would respond if she actually succeeded, but he also didn’t know if it was a bad idea, per se. The two were driving each other into mutually assured destruction potentially the longer this went on – and both Ems and Fiddleford knew who they would prioritise in the case of a crash and burn. He wasn’t fond of killing – but he knew that this Cipher guy was definitely one of the few people deserving of it. He had conducted some pretty horrifying things in his career, caused a lot of death and ruined a lot of lives – financially, or otherwise. He was a bad man, undoubtedly. The world would be better without him in it.

Ford should understand that fact. Ford had killed before – a fact that was deeply jarring for him to think of when the man was cuddled into him and so peaceful-looking. His companion had explained his actions very logically – that life and death situations call for difficult decisions, and that if there were civilian lives on the line he would not hesitate to do what he needed to in order to protect them. So the immediate concern in his voice at the thought of killing the man who had been causing such widespread destruction and violence across the entire country was equally disconcerting to Fiddleford. He didn’t really know much of the experience Ford had with the man the week he was gone; he said he’d been charismatic and treated him well – so he supposed that would make the detective more hesitant to want him dead – but it didn’t erase the fact that he had taken him prisoner. That he had kidnapped all 3 of them.

And Stanford was upset with that fact. He could tell by the way that Ford jumped between them and any loud noises, that his hand was always that bit closer to the gun at his waist when he was with them. The way that he clung to them much tighter than he had before. He had threatened to take his own life if the criminal didn’t set him free, bluff or not.

So why was his attitude towards the man so bipolar? Why did he oscillate between fierce protectiveness and gun-fights to sitting giddily at his desk drafting a letter? Why did he treat this case like a particularly high-stakes game that he was eager to win? Why did he find this fun?!

There was a duality to Stanford Pines that few people ever dared to outright acknowledge. That he was at once a soft-spoken genius and a madman seeking adrenaline. That he could pin moths to a board with the same intrigued eyes he would look at a gruesome murder scene. That he was more comfortable talking with a gun to his head than at a larger than average social gathering. That, occasionally, he would get that look in his eyes which almost transformed him into someone Fidds couldn’t recognise.

And yet, he was always him. He was always so Ford it ached. Even in the throes of madness, or mania, or whatever you call it, he was curious and loving and passionate and enthusiastic.

It wasn’t half a jarring experience.

And so, he watched wearily as he accompanied the man down the road to the library, hand resting firmly on his own gun just in case, as his companion chattered excitedly to him about the latest mutations of anomalous moths sighted in this very area from the papers he’d been looking up. And he felt fond. Terrified, and fond.

What a man.

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Stan all but tackled the man, slamming him into an alleyway, hand shoved over his mouth. He knew it wasn’t a fair fight- Kryptos was a brains-over-brawn sort of guy; in fact, Stan was surprised he was out here alone. It definitely made things simpler, though.

“Okay, listen.” He hissed. The other man’s jet-black eye stared back at him, wide. “I don’t know what you think you saw, but you didn’t see it, understood?!”

He slowly eased the hand off his mouth, staring down at him impatiently. “Cipher’s not gonna be happy.” The other man whispered, grimacing.

“He doesn’t need to know.” Stan schooled his heartrate. “It wasn’t anything nefarious, anyway. Not like anything could’ve happened. I didn’t choose for my brother to run up and throw himself at me in the middle of public.” He explained quickly, trying to not sound pleading or desperate. Despite his scrawniness, he knew Kryptos was the kind of guy who saw weakness and took to it like a shark to blood in the water.

The man was a bit taller and lankier, and older than most the maniacs by about a decade. He’d started going grey early, apparently, and simply leaned into it.  Now he haunted the streets as a sort of monochromatic ghost, listening in here and there from beneath the brim of his hat, eye focused intently. He whistled out a breath through the gap in his buck teeth, a habit of his that Stan had picked up that he did when he was thinking hard on something.

“You know how bad this looks.” He stated, not asked.

“Yes, of course I do.” Stan hissed, groaning. “But Cipher’s already been tense all week and he doesn’t need to be pushed further because of a misunderstanding. You know what a nightmare that’ll be to deal with.”

Kryptos looked at him appraisingly, no longer quite as frightened as he was when Stan was physically intimidating him. “…Quite.” He straightened the lapel on his suit. “But, Gold, how do I take your word on this?”

“Are you serious?!”

“Deadly. Soon as your twin detective shows up in town, suddenly Enigma is thrown through loop after loop. Then I find you chatting all buddy-buddy with him and two others on the force…”

“He was causin’ problems way before then, Krypt! You know that.” Stan urged, “and half the ‘problems’ he’s been causing are just cause of the boss’ weird flirting techniques.” He scrunched his nose in disgust to admit it, but he really did need to emphasise the fact to push his point.

“Perhaps.” The other man studied him. “But you have to be aware of how convenient it all seems. Teeth talked at length about how the detective offered him immunity, and the past month you’ve been at odds with the boss in a way I’ve never seen anyone be. Last meeting you outright insulted him. Not to mention, you were conveniently out of the way during the detective’s little escape – even though I know you were near the front that day.”

He gritted his teeth. “I’m acting at odds because the boss is being a creep about my brother. That doesn’t mean I’m conspiring. It’s called being a decent relative.”

“So your loyalties do lie more with the detective than the boss, then?”

“When the fuck did I say that?!” he snarled, “not wanting to let him do just whatever he wants to my twin isn’t the same as not being loyal. Cipher recognises that.”

Kryptos hummed, whistling out again. “You know I’m not the only one to notice, Golds. The little guys are taking bets on when you’ll crack.” He straightened himself up, dusting off the areas Stan grabbed his blazer.

“Are they now.” Stan responded in a flat tone, accompanied by a deep scowl.

“They are. So I suggest you pick a side soon and stick to it. Doubt isn’t a currency you can squander in this business. You and I both recognise it.”

His eye twitched. “Noted.”

“Good.” Kryptos turned on his heel. “I won’t bother the boss about this for now, then. You’re right; he’s got too much on his plate. Just… remember who your allies are, Goldie.”

With a nod, the man left him in the darkened alley. Once he was out of eye and earshot, he released the heaving breath he was holding.

hooooooo that one is a bit harder to answer, because I am less familiar with him as a character/relate to him less than the other boys.

The easiest one would be to mention the retrograde (and possibly/probably anterograde?) amnesia, traumatic brain injury and all of that. Although, his memories are recoverable, so it would sit a bit interestingly on that spectrum. Either way, we've been knowing that lol. The same goes for Addiction, since that's basically what the memory gun is an allegory for anyway.

Fidds feels definitely autistic to me. He's very habitual, adheres himself quite strongly to rules (but only ones he personally believes in) and throws himself very intensely into his special interests. There's also the way he seems to just 'click' with and get Ford in a way that others don't - which doesn't always mean autism per se, but it's such a common experience shared between autistic folks. He's also got bad anxiety - which is very common in autism. Admittedly, I don't know if it counts as disordered anxiety, given the circumstances? Perhaps PTSD would be more fitting - he's seen hell and come back. PTSD is also easier to develop in autistic individuals, since it's a result of a lack of ability to cope with a stressor, rather than the intensity of the stressor itself.

Internalised homophobia isn't a disorder per se but. I mean it's there. Full sentence lol. Send him to (non-conversion) therapy.

I've seen some people write him with OCD - which I could see. Also high-occurring with autism, associated with high quantities of intrusive and disturbing thoughts. I don't know if there's a great amount of evidence for it in the show or books, but I think of everyone in the cast he's the easiest to see that way, since he does have a lot of repetitive behaviours you could interpret as compulsive.

Stan and ford

Yep. That’s it. That’s Circuit Breaker - I can stop writing now and pack up and go home. Could not have put it more succinctly myself 😂

(Also Apocalypse Squared. And most my writings of the two. OKAY I LIKE THE BROTHERS CARING FOR EACH OTHER SUE ME/j)

I think everyone is autism if you believe hard enough

That sounds like a joke but I mean. Gravity Falls is sort of autism town. It’s weird to outsiders and yet it makes perfect sense to those within it. Everyone’s a bit weird, has their own ‘thing’ and is outwardly expressive, forthright and unabashedly themselves. And I think that’s beautiful.

For Stan I periodically encounter comparisons of him and Ford as ‘autism with high masking vs. autism with low masking’ or perhaps more, like high vs. low empathy autism or overcompensating vs. no compensating eye contact autism etc. I think it’s beautiful, especially with how the two of them seem to just ‘get’ each other the way nobody else around them does, and it’s something that can incorporate the wide presentation of the autism spectrum condition.

You’ve accidentally triggered my psychology degree and autism enthusiast trap card, but as a highly extroverted, high empathy, good at reading faces and emotions and charismatic presenting autistic person who’s been told I’m specifically good at Sales when I’ve worked stalls, I feel like an autistic Stan is a read I highly appreciate. When working on my dissertation, my project focused around disentangling Autism from Alexithymia - which occurs in 50% of autistic people - and the current evidence suggests actually that a lot of ‘autistic’ traits may be attributable to Alexithymia instead (less facial expression, lower empathy/ability to identify others’ emotions, flattened affect, etc.) and so what I would read is that Stan is autistic and Ford is autistic with Alexithymia, perhaps.

I do think both of them also fit different profiles of ADHD as well - Ford presents as inattentive at least with how he seems to lose himself in trains of thought and hops from one thing to another quickly, but I could see him being possibly hyperactive as well with how much he seems to constantly enjoy moving and fidgeting with stuff in his hands.

For Stan, likewise, I think the hyperactivity traits of ADHD come through particularly well, bobbing his feet and talking a lot and being so impulsive, but I could also make a case for inattentive traits too, I imagine (though less immediately comes to mind). He also obviously fits the ADHD profile of high creativity and divergent thinking :))

This one's a bit more domestic/filler sorry <333 plot gotta move n all

A03

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Chapter 13 - Hitting the Road

The drive was uncomfortably quiet.

It took everything in Stan to avoid glancing sideways every few minutes, feeling a need to check that his brother was okay. That he was still alive. And he was. Of course he was. Ford coming back to life, as much as it may have spooked them both, was far from the weirdest or most magical thing he’d seen in the past 24 hours even, let alone across the entire apocalypse. And for what it’s worth, he couldn’t help but feel even the smallest bit grateful to the demon for whatever life insurance policy he placed on Ford: he doesn’t know what he would’ve done if his brother had just died for him. Permanently, that is.

He was going to try to ignore the implications that Ford had intended to and fully followed through on dying for him.

He knows it was a deeply harrowing experience, both the undeath and the knowledge of how it occurred – but even still he was selfishly glad that his twin hadn’t been wiped off the face of the Earth. Once again, if Ford were happier about it, Stan would be all for celebrating his twin’s newfound maybe-immortality with him.

He glanced sideways again, despite himself. He knew historically it was a bad idea to let Ford stew in his own thoughts for too long – he just had no idea what the right thing to say would be right now. He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. Say something, damn it!

“So- uh… we’ll be leaving state lines pretty soon.” He offered, weakly. “You got any suggestions on where to next?”

Ford hummed noncommittally. Stan took that as his sign to start the ball rolling so to speak.

“We could… go back to New Jersey? Or California? Haven’t seen any the rest of the family in person… well, in a decade I guess, but since the start of the apocalypse ‘n all.”

Ford nodded quietly, “neither, for the most part.”

Stan lifted a brow, looking questioningly to him.

“Didn’t really go back after I left for college. Didn’t want to. Called Ma and Shermie occasionally. Talked to Pa as little as possible.” He frowned.

Stan couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice. “You don’t talk to Pa? But you’re his favourite!” It wasn’t really a secret to anyone in the family.

“Not by choice.” His brother’s tone was bitter, and perhaps a bit venomous too. Stan wasn’t sure he wanted to push.

“…fair ‘nuff.” He swallowed. “…So, Cali, maybe…?”

Ford just nodded absently, “if you want.”

Stan bit his lip, trying to avoid pushing more. Or maybe wanting to push more? He knew he understood at least some of why Ford was so downcast, but there was a lot he couldn’t make out. That big brain of his was always running a million miles a minute, leaving Stan behind pitifully in the dust to try and work out what had been there by the outline left in its wake.

“Ya know, I don’t think I ever heard much about college. How was that?” Stan knew he was poking a possibly sore spot, given that Ford’s shitty college and any negative subsequent experiences were directly his fault.

“It… it was alright.” The question seemed to succeed pulling him out of whatever line of thought he had been in, at least. “I… had a roommate. He was my best friend for a long while. He was the one who… came to help me, when I was building that portal. He figured out it was bad news long before I did, though. Warned me. I didn’t listen.” His face scrunched. “I hope he made it.”

Well, Stan had been angling to hopefully get him to talk through his studies and not the crushing guilt associated with ending the world, but he figured it was best to take what he could get.

“’M sure he did. Any guy who can build a portal can brave an apocalypse I reckon.” Stan offered encouragingly.

Ford did actually hum in a somewhat affirming manner, “he was pretty brilliant an engineer. If anyone could find a way to manage, it would be him. I wonder if he went to our bunker.”

“You have a bunker?!” Stan’s disbelieving tone actually managed to pull a chuckle out of his brother.

“Yes. It’s where we conducted our more dangerous research, and… well, in retrospect I can see it was his attempts to prepare for things going wrong. I always thought he was overly-anxious like that. Turns out I was just reckless.”

“Hey, yer not alone on that one.” Stan gave a light laugh himself, gently nudging his brother with his elbow.

Ford looked at him with a lot of thought in his eyes. “No. I’m not, am I?”

Conversation flowed somewhat freely the rest of the drive out of Oregon. Stan could sense his brother was just as eager to put distance between himself and the triangle as he was himself. Admittedly, the hard part was far from over.

“’Spose we gotta set up camp. Could do us good to sort some more long-term safety measures so we don’t gotta sleep in shifts forever.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for things we can scavenge.” His brother removed that book he’d seen before out of the inner pocket of his trench coat, beginning to scrawl in it in his familiar looping cursive.

Stan let out a whistle. “Man, we’re proper action-hero apocalypse survival movie protagonists now, huh? Scavenging and looting and camping.” He reminisced out loud. “Always thought there’d be more zombies.”

His brother’s tone had some humour in it. “I can summon some, if you’d like.”

Stan sat up, eye’s wide. “You’re shitting me. Zombies, too?!”

Ford snorted. “Stanley, you’ll find that most myths are grounded in truth. Not to mention the many anomalies not found in stories.”

“So like—what? Vampires? Werewolves? Ghosts? Mummies?!”

His twin chuckled. “Yes to all. Though the Mummies are local to Egypt, for obvious reasons. They function much alike zombies, though it’s more of a regional and curse-based variant. Ghosts have a lot more variety and nuance to them in particular, too.”

Stan clutched his head. “…no fuckin’ way…” he muttered under his breath, once again eliciting a snort from his brother.

“Anomalies function like any other scientific phenomena at the end of the day. It just requires the right angle of understanding; the way gravity seems impossible to someone who doesn’t know physics.”

“Huh. I guess.” Stan was still deeply shaken, fascinated and a little troubled from all the implications of those words, though.

He kept Ford talking as they sorted out sleeping arrangements, snacking on their gas station finds for dinner and clearing out some of the litter from the backseat to create a more comfortable long-term sleeping arrangement. Weirdly, Ford also asked Stan for any bank notes he had and… burned them. He knew money didn’t matter anymore, but it still caused his breath to catch in his throat, and his questioning came out a lot more pathetic than he had hoped.

“Bill can see through any depictions of himself.” Ford just shook his head solemnly, “he purposely got the eye of providence added onto the common currency ages ago to spy on people better.”

“Seriously?! That counts?!” Stan scrunched up his nose, staring down at the burning pile.

“Anything featuring a triangle around an eye counts. Even holding your fingers up in a triangular pattern in front of your own eye could work.” He shuddered, as though from personal experience.

“Sheesh.”  

“Sheesh indeed. There are ways around it, though. If you make a dash through the symbol, it cuts it off, for instance. Also helps to wind something around it – it can still be used, but he can’t really get any useful information out of it.”

“…is it like, all the time?” Stan shifted uncomfortably.

“As far as I can tell, no. It takes conscious effort, I think. But it’s impossible to tell when it’s active either way so it’s hard to be sure.” Ford’s own expression scrunched in displeasure this time.

“Got it. Avoid triangles like the plague.”

You can’t pit two divas against each other….

Too Many Red Strings of Fate!

I enjoyed exploring the possibilities of this one actually! More passively than actively, but I find it funny when the fusion’s name is just ‘Stanford’ - it’s the combo of Stan + Ford after all but beyond that it’s also a name they both used in this dimension for 30 years so it sorta applies to both of them equally.

Depending on fusion rules I can only imagine it would come out so radically different. Like, the chances of their traits compounding, averaging or just adding?? Like would the result be the combo of Stan and Ford’s smarts together, the average smarts between them or a full combination of one intelligence stacked on another?? Each of them have their own thrilling implications. If we imagine fusion as a thing to increase overall power then there’s a lot of obvious interesting implications there - but if it isn’t and it just creates like… some guy then that’s also pretty fun to mess around with.

Steven Universe is the natural reference point I think of with fusion, so there’s also the elements of like is this an extra limbs+ situation like there, or will it spit out a conceivably human man??