Not an emo, just funny.

might be reaching a point where its time to take this blog out to pasture

Almost hair time

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

Whatever your political beliefs, I think we can all agree that that episode of Steven Universe where Pearl calls Charlie Kirk “a martyr on the level of the sacrificed Messiah whose memory shall stand in the annals of time as among those of the greatest of men” was NOT okay

the bitemarks leaving cuddler would like to kiss you in many places very safe no chomps

“Home is where the trees look normal” is the sweetest, saddest, most nostalgic truth I’ve ever heard.

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

hey I wonder what happens if I put powdered milk into carbonated water

my cereal is loud and it's demanding to know why I would sin against both nature and god so thoughtlessly

...how does it taste?

bad

I have mastered the potion: Instant Spoiled Milk, therefore earning the rank of shittiest alchemist currently alive.

i actually think they should keep banning trans women from the military so all the yank nationalist jingos can go die overseas and all of us get to live in a world without them

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane