AHHHHHH!

developing a powerful physique from tossing and turning underneath my weighted blanket

2024. your alex (alexa has been made gender neutral) wakes you up with an alarm at 5:30.... you thought you didn't need to wake up until 7, but your work's schedule app shows that the scheduling ai changed the schedule overnight, following the termination of your coworker brandyn, and your alarm was automatically adjusted. you feel like shit. "alex," you say, "i need to call in. i feel horrible..." you hold still as alex's camera scans you and they analyze your appearance for signs of illness. "you appear to be feeling fine," they say, "are you sure you want me to go ahead with that request?" you grimace.... you're exhausted. you steel yourself for whatever consequences are to come.... "yes," you say. "alright," says alex, "i'm submitting your request now." your phone buzzes on your wrist - the request has been received. a second notification. you've been terminated for falsifying a sick day request. a third - this one is from the property management company that owns your apartment - after receiving notice of your termination, the leasing ai has elected to evict you. within 24 hours, your smart home security will no longer recognize you as a resident. alex starts to count down

BTW you are not working for some kind of orwellian megacorp you are working at a little coffeeshop owned by a pleasant blonde woman who uses the scheduling app because its convenient and your apartment complex is a small one with only 10 units and the office staff is friendly but they dont really make the decisions and things are so normal you can convince yourself that things are normal and pleasant and everything is so convenient

Sometimes I hyperfocus so hard on something, I forget I’m a person until someone interacts with me. I feel like some wild animal seeing a human being for the first time. I’m like “oh yeah I’m supposed to speak and stuff”

if The Kiler tried to get me... well i would just slap that freaky bitch in his Haunted Halloweener

"horror movies are about love" Man what? If they were about love I would watch them. They are about scary

i love BREAD and WOMEN and that’s all you need know

if jennifer of jennifer's body had just invested in some meal planning she could've stretched those dead boys into a week's worth of meals. that's why i'm so excited to announce the sponsor of this post, hello fresh. hello fresh is a meal delivery service that does the work of meal planning and meal prep for you, so you don't have to worry your pretty brunette head about figuring out where your next boy meal is coming from

🧿 I break the cycle of staying in past situations that hurt me. I forgive myself, release the ill will, and invite in abundance 🧿

🧿 I break the cycle of staying in past situations that hurt me. I forgive myself, release the ill will, and invite in abundance 🧿