Is this… grand theft alto?
How did this get 176 notes?
I guess music puns just might be my forte.

@theartofmadeline
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sade Olutola
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
todays bird
Fieri Frames
Phantogram Three
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
RMH
Not today Justin
Noah Kahan
noise dept.
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Product Placement

Kiana Khansmith
The Bright Sessions
sheepfilms

roma★

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@confusedbandkid
Is this… grand theft alto?
How did this get 176 notes?
I guess music puns just might be my forte.

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when you’re so busy thinking about not missing your entrance that you miss your entrance.
If you suck at playing trumpet, that’s probably why.
How to practice hard sheet music
1. Look at the sheet music 2. Cry

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passive aggressive gifts for flutists
noob-o Nuvo TooT ($24.99)
Perhaps this better suits your ability level.
*includes a Firstnote™ lip plate, which will help you blow into the flute successfully
Practice Book for the Flute Omnibus by Trevor Wye ($28.00)
Even your abysmal technique can improve quickly with daily practice (this means practicing every day) of these helpful exercises. Some of them are a bit challenging at first, so don’t be scared to play them as slow as you require. Eventually, you should be able to play them in every key, which can be a bit daunting at first (sharps are scary), but I’m sure you’ll get there.
MetroTuner ($28.40)
Don’t worry, when I was five, I too had trouble staying in tune and in time. This handy little gadget will help you do the things that are sort of the minimum required of any musician.
Flute flag ($33.50)
Given your muffled tone and sloppy runs, it is possible that your saliva has leaked into the pads and mechanism of your flute. Don’t worry, this is easily fixable, just remember to actually clean out your flute after practice. Yes, it only takes a few minutes to swab out your flute and be like the big, grown-up flutists you look up to. This flute flag will especially help you to clean out the filthy unreachable areas in your headjoint!
Brannen Kingma System Flute ($22,780.00)
You’re itching to play some more experimental music, right? After all, why else would all your notes be out of tune to the point that they sound like quarter-tones?
I could have bought a car with this amount of money, but instead I’m investing it all in you. Consider it a blessing, because a starving musician like yourself would likely be in debt for the rest of your life if you bought an instrument of this caliber. You’ll need some small amount of money to survive, some small amount of money to pay for an education at a conservatoire full of much more skilled people than you, transport to auditions which you always fail, and dry-cleaning for suits that you wear at gigs to create a façade of professionalism. At some point you may give up and just start teaching, passing down your crappy technique onto the next generation. At least then you’ll be able to hold this masterpiece of an instrument in your hands and remember me, the person who had enough money to blow on all these passive aggressive gifts, but not enough decency to give you useful, constructive criticism.
@limegreenjig
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
Because all they said was “Bach Bach Bach!”
Bandlr is gonna feel attacked @marchingbandrules @littletrumpetcat @secondclarinet @dailybandmemes
WHYYYYYYYYYY
The Instruments As Shit My Extended Family Did Over Thanksgiving
flutes: spilled red wine all over the tan carpet
clarinets: spent 95% of the time playing pokémon sun
saxophones: viciously heckled anyone playing mariokart if they were not in first
trumpets: wore a bluetooth headset constantly despite never using it
horns: took a generous sip of scotch besides being generously pregnant
trombones: brought up politics™
baritones: claimed more alcohol made him better at mariokart; was correct
tubas: guilt tripped everyone into watching college sportsball
percussion: made a disturbingly convincing case for my weird uncle being a former government spy
The Instruments as Music Stands
Horn, Flute, Bassoon, Piccolo: The perfect stand. Will never dump your music on the ground and it’s easy to lift up.
Trumpet, Oboe, Clarinet, Saxes: WILL NOT COME UP. Permanently stuck in the ‘down’ position.
Euphonium, Trombone: Will dump your music on the ground.
Tuba, Percussion: Will not come up. Will dump your music on the ground. Probably has graffiti on it too
Are They Gay? Band Guide
flute: probably not,tbh.
piccolo: straight and lets everyone know they Aren’t Gay
clarinet: probably bi. i’ve met a lot of bi clarinet players
saxophone: Obnoxiously Straight™ if they’re a guy, if they’re a girl, 60% chance she’s not straight
bassoon: boringly straight
trumpet: either butch lesbian, closeted gay guy, or completely oblivious to the existence of gays altogether
trombone: lowkey gay but no one is really sure
horn: if they are you already know it
sousaphone/euphonium: GAY
percussion: dudebro homoeroticism or actual gayness? the world may never know

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All of the asks. Answer ALL OF THEM pretty please (if you don't mind. If you don't have time for that, pick your favorite one)
1: What was the longest you’ve travelled for a competition/football game
Idk probably like 3 hours
2: What instrument would you be in if you weren’t on your current?
Trumpet was the other instrument I tried back in 5th grade so probably that (which is scary)
3: What’s your favourite weather to march in?
Cool and not raining
4: Does your school do bent-knee or straight-leg marching?
Bent knee
5: Do you play a different instrument in concert season than you do in marching?
I have a nicer flute but it’s still a flute
6: How many scales do you know by memory?
I really don’t know lol
7: Are you planning on pursuing a career in music?
Nah
8: Do you get new uniforms every year?
HA
9: What was the name of your favourite marching show you’ve performed in?
Wanted
10: Do you keep up with DCI? If so, who is your favourite group?
I don’t keep up with it but I should
11: Have you ever done Winter Percussion/Guard?
Nope
12: Have you ever fallen while marching?
I don’t think I ever have actually
13: Why did your director yell at the band the last time they did?
The trumpets still don’t know Db
14: How often does your band meet for rehearsal?
Every weekday
15: What’s your favourite stand tune your band plays?
Hey Song or Metallica
16: Have you ever had a solo? If so, how did you handle it?
Never had a solo never want a solo
17: Have you ever done an instrument cam while performing?
Nope
18: Has your band ever received any awards?
We got best music overall at a competition this year and I’m still really excited about it
19: What’s your section’s “hype”
Salt circles and weird cheers
20: Have you ever dated someone in your section?
Yea
21: Are you a section leader? Do you plan to be?
Nope
22: Have you had a crush on your section leader?
One of my section leaders is my girlfriend lmao
23: Are you a drum major? Do you plan to be?
Nope
24: How does your band director feel about you?
He probably thinks I’m a dumbass
25: Do you get along with your section?
Yes
26: Have you ever tried out for all-region? Did you make it?
Nah
27: What was your marching show this year?
The Other Side
28: Have you ever slept in the band room?
I don’t think I have
29: What kind of fundraisers does your band do?
Candy bar and sub sales
30: Do you have to put your hair in your shako while you march?
Yeah
31: Are your uniforms comfortable?
Yes
32: Do you wear marching uniforms for concert season?
No
33: Do you practice as much as you need to?
Hahahaha
34: Are you in any other extracurricular courses?
Art classes
35: What instruments do your drum majors play?
Flute
36: How often do you practice?
Hahahahahaha
37: Do you enjoy practicing?
My brain literally won’t let me focus so ehhh
38: Have you ever fallen asleep hugging your instrument?
Probably on the bus at some point
39: Do you have a tradition you do before you perform?
Cheers and section talk
40: What’s your band’s least well-behaved section?
Drumline or Jacob
41: How easy is reading a drill chart to you?
It’s usually pretty easy unless my ADHD decides that it won’t focus on one line of text
42: Have you ever gone on a band trip? If so, how was it?
Yes and they’re simultaneously some of the best and worst weeks of my like
43: Have you ever disliked someone because of the instrument they played?
Not really
44: Do you ever accidentally march while you’re going somewhere?
Yes
Marching Band Asks
1: What was the longest you’ve travelled for a competition/football game
2: What instrument would you be in if you weren’t on your current?
3: What’s your favourite weather to march in?
4: Does your school do bent-knee or straight-leg marching?
5: Do you play a different instrument in concert season than you do in marching?
6: How many scales do you know by memory?
7: Are you planning on pursuing a career in music?
8: Do you get new uniforms every year?
9: What was the name of your favourite marching show you’ve performed in?
10: Do you keep up with DCI? If so, who is your favourite group?
11: Have you ever done Winter Percussion/Guard?
12: Have you ever fallen while marching?
13: Why did your director yell at the band the last time they did?
14: How often does your band meet for rehearsal?
15: What’s your favourite stand tune your band plays?
16: Have you ever had a solo? If so, how did you handle it?
17: Have you ever done an instrument cam while performing?
18: Has your band ever received any awards?
19: What’s your section’s “hype”
20: Have you ever dated someone in your section?
21: Are you a section leader? Do you plan to be?
22: Have you had a crush on your section leader?
23: Are you a drum major? Do you plan to be?
24: How does your band director feel about you?
25: Do you get along with your section?
26: Have you ever tried out for all-region? Did you make it?
27: What was your marching show this year?
28: Have you ever slept in the band room?
29: What kind of fundraisers does your band do?
30: Do you have to put your hair in your shako while you march?
31: Are your uniforms comfortable?
32: Do you wear marching uniforms for concert season?
33: Do you practice as much as you need to?
34: Are you in any other extracurricular courses?
35: What instruments do your drum majors play?
36: How often do you practice?
37: Do you enjoy practicing?
38: Have you ever fallen asleep hugging your instrument?
39: Do you have a tradition you do before you perform?
40: What’s your band’s least well-behaved section?
41: How easy is reading a drill chart to you?
42: Have you ever gone on a band trip? If so, how was it?
43: Have you ever disliked someone because of the instrument they played?
44: Do you ever accidentally march while you’re going somewhere?
45: Tag your best band friend.
“Of all musicians, flautists are obviously the ones who know something we don’t.”
— Paul Jennings
BAND QUOTE #1
Teacher: due to time we are going to forgo breathing for today (as in like breathing exercises)
One of the flutes: we’re not going to breathe at all today

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Me basically every night after marching practice:
Hey so I’m not into the n/sfw stuff but this update is still bs and I know a lot of people are leaving (I am not) and apparently there’s a possibility of tumblr disappearing so if any mutuals want my insta just dm me!