•Baybay•

No but honestly if you have an uncut dick please make sure to pull the foreskin back & clean inside that because not everyone is willing to have cheese in the menu

I like to keep it clean but a Lil smelly :) It still need to taste like Dick otherwise its just like ur sucking a fat finger lol

"why are these scientists talking about pluto when they should be curing ebola" because they’re astrophysicists not molecular engineers or infectious disease specialists you’re getting mad at the wrong people 

*walks into Starbucks and violently shakes the barista* LOOK WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A NEW BED FRAME THEN????

medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later

FUCKJNG

me: *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* cannot believe this asshole didnt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable