it’s their month

you shouldnt have to pay for the dentist. the dentist should pay me for satsifying their weird fetish

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

"Put Baby in pelican mouth" has transformed my thinking in ways I haven't entirely discovered yet. The other day at the shop I heard "just give us your ID card at the till to get 15% off such-and-such products!" And my brain went "Big Chain Store perfec/t size for give all your personal data! Deals very cheap and fun your data safe give data to Big Chain Store. Give data to Big Chain Store. No problems ever with Big Chain Store because good size and safety for ID card weak of so much yummy personal data. Abig Chain Store yes a place for data give data to Big Chain Store can trust Big Chain Store for give data to all its friends. Friend Store"

Remember when Charlie Kirk was murdered in broad daylight in front of hundreds of people…….that was so fucking awesome

i wish fairies werent extinct so i could go back to recklessly hunting them

When a president dies their soul gets transferred into some sort of warship or submarine by US naval mages