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“Being asexual is okay - you can still have sex to please your partner, so you can still find love!” is a type of positivity that doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me angry. 

That’s such a screwed up focus. Imagine that with any other thing: You have absolutely no interest in going on long hikes? Aw, that’s okay, you can just force yourself to go hiking as a favor to your partner. You’re not totally unlovable, I guess, as long as you do things for your partner you don’t necessarily want to do! 

Being asexual is okay - there are people who feel no sexual attraction, so that’s obviously a real and valid thing to experience. It’s okay to be one of those people. 

The focus (as with any other way to experience attraction!) should be on you. Asexuality is not about the things you can do to find a partner - it’s a label that helps you express your own identity, feelings. Positivity should focus on that: Your feelings are normal, they’re good - all on their own, without this wrong and useless addition of “as long as you still have sex”. Nope. Asexuality is okay. Full stop. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

P.S: And “All asexual people can have sex” is wrong, anyway. Some can have sex, some want to have sex for various reasons, and that’s fine. It’s their own choice! 

But some asexual people can’t have sex. They would feel so umcomfortable during sex that they would never enthuastically consent to it - and sex without (happily and freely given!) consent isn’t sex at all. And of course there are also asexual people who physically can’t have sex or would feel pain during sex. 

Me being asexual doesn't exist in a vaccum

I have a very low interest in dating people coz romantic relationships are so heavily entwined with having sex, which effects how I plan my future in terms of marriage and housing

It took me a very long time to realise I was bi coz I didn't know it was possible to be both ace and bi at the same time

Being ace (and bi) affects how I view my gender, as so much of what a "woman" is, is defined in relation to being attractive to and attracted by men

Watchful/vibing

Happy/playful

Moody/pondering

While the wave of #BlackLivesMatter support has wavered and decreased since last summer, the work and movement still live on. There is still so much that needs to be done to ensure people understand systemic racism, implicit biases, and unconscious & conscious biases. Racism exists in common language. It exists in media. We see white supremacy still exist. Until everyone understand this, there is learning and listening that needs to happen. We need to understand one another and listen to Black folks and their negative experiences.

Racism did not suddenly go away when slavery was abolished nor did it end when segregation was overturned. Enslaved people were not suddenly treated equally. People still bear the pain of it; some were alive for it.

ok buckle up i wanted this term to exist so i went and coined it

Lovepunk can be both an identity and an opposition to the societal norms surrounding the concept of love. Lovepunk rejects the norms surrounding gender, attraction, orientation, and relationships, while actively resisting aphobia (arophobia, acephobia, aplphobia, etc) and the oppression caused by defying these norms. One doesn’t have to be aspec to be lovepunk, but lovepunks stand with aspecs. This term is open to anyone who feels that they defy societies norms surrounding the concept of love, either via intentional rebellion or simply existing as their true self.

For example: arospecs, acespecs, aplatonics, loveless, lovequeer, polyamorous people, trans and nonbinary people, queer people, neurodivergents, disabled people, BIPOC, and anyone else may feel that their society’s standards for love were not made to include them and were potentially even used to dehumanise them.