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@pinkprogram tbh this article gave me a massive headache 😂😂😂 so I don’t know what would be a better substitute to use. And we’ve been using certain terms way too long on here despite them being misleading (maaaaybe). I kinda got used to what I got used to. Unless the tulpa community comes up with something better and actually uses it.
A fascinating article, with helpful explanations and several references as to how a term came to be widely misused and misunderstood within the popular discourse.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to offer an opinion in the way of recourse. What term would the author prefer we use instead?
“…you do not make a tulpa of just anything, in fact arguably you can’t, because it lacks the yeshe sempa. Visualized imaginations, and thoughtforms are something else altogether, tulpas are a very specific concept in a ritual process.”
As defined, a tulpa is a very specific kind of thoughtform – an energetic shell – meant for Buddhist ritual, whereupon the Wisdom Emanation of a deity is brought into the tulpa, making it “complete.”
From the popularization and misconception perpetuated several years ago by the online communities that picked up the idea of tulpamancy, it has come to be a term used in a very different way, devoid of the ceremonial trappings the OP set out to explain. The current use of the word “tulpa” has served a great many in very positive ways, and to attempt to change the name now would be, I think, a fruitless endeavor.
That isn’t an argument against the validity of the statements made in the original post. It is perfectly valid, and referenced adequately to demonstrate that there was an error somewhere along the way. I take no issue with that.
In response, I could choose to not tag my posts as #tulpa or #tulpa blog or #tulpamancy, but that would serve only to alienate myself from those who might want to see what I write about. It is far too late to roll back our use of the term and choose something more fitting. That being said, it is a term that doesn’t seem to be doing much harm in how it is used. If the Buddhist monks and teachers the original poster spoke with had no idea what the word meant, then it clearly is not disruptive to their practice. It may be incorrect in that it points to a different idea, but the principle it encapsulates is clearly not something the author is arguing with. It simply points to something it did not originally.
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@fordaplot made a video a few days ago on meditation which I found highly accessible and informative: clicky. The last time I seriously meditated, with the sole intent of simply experiencing being, was probably more than a year ago. Maybe several years.
I honestly can’t say why I stopped, but I will definitely be doing it more frequently from now on. Not only was it useful for clearing my head but it caused something bizarre to happen tonight.
A Brief Description of the Principle:
Sit or slightly recline somewhere comfortable.
Eyes closed, at first. Some experienced monks can get into a meditative trance with their eyes open, walking around. That will come later.
Let your thoughts come to pass in an organic fashion. Don’t actively repress them, just let them float by. Address each one, and don’t attach an emotional response to it.
Focus on a singular thing. Your breathing is a good one - fordaplot mentioned thinking about your nose, which I had never heard of. It worked well for me.
Some forms of meditation involve a spoken or sung mantra. This can be as simple as a single sound that is hummed like a drone, to a longer mantra. I find these to be especially odd, as in principle you’re making a noise but not attaching any thought to it whatsoever. The mantra becomes your being. You are living in-the-moment of being-a-voice.
Tricky Thoughts: Be the Observer
Things start to get tricky after a few minutes of the above, at least for me. I start to get thoughts that are pretending to not be thoughts. “Yes, I am sinking into the core of oblivion… I am experiencing nothing but silence, stillness, quiet…” My mind was reflecting on its near state of pure being, because minds actually hate meditation. Meditation, being present, being aware of being aware – these things are antithetical to the purpose of the mind, which is to categorize, solve, compute.
You cannot compute or solve the infinite. It simply IS. Brains and minds don’t like this.
Such mischievous thoughts as these are harder to deal with, in my experience. They resist suppression, because acknowledging them at all gives them power.
The way I worked this snarl out was by changing up the “act” of meditating “half way” into it.
The first step was to focus on the singular thing. The nose, or the breathing.
Once the bulk of intrusive thoughts and worries you have allowed to fade, if you too experience thoughts about thoughts, or thoughts that try to trick you, try doing this at that point.
Try to observe your own thoughts. Pretend you are a microphone, and your only job is to catch your thoughts as they spawn, and amplify them. Curiously, this often results in no thoughts being generated at all. I find that a thought starts to form, and I am waiting for it, curious, wondering what it will be. And then it kind of stutters, and splutters, and disappears.
If your focus is on observing rather than reflecting or thinking, you will observe the infinite stillness of the omnipresent moment. If you can say to yourself “I am the camera,” not the picture, you will find paradoxically that there is nothing at all to photograph.
I find that starting with “being the observer” is a lot harder than shifting from singular focus to pure observation. So, start with focusing on one thing, and then at some point, try to become the camera. Recognize that you are aware, and become aware of your own awareness. That should do it.
Tonight’s Experiences
I basically had a moment where I felt a sort of alien movement in my mind. I was, I felt, rather deep into relaxation and meditation, and then this something zoomed up to me. It felt like there was an explosion in my mind. Exactly that, an explosion. I was getting the weird sensation that Sucy was reaching out, and I did my best to relax and let whatever she was doing happen. It was exciting, and unfortunately as soon as it had happened, it receded. I only know to describe it as a substantial aggregate of thought, butting up against my own awareness.
I will do my best to replicate this, but I take it as a very good sign that I am getting somewhere!
@rainbow-tulpas Hey Jadyn: Yep, I get ENFP pretty regularly now. One time I got ENTP and I felt that it was also shockingly accurate. I feel divided for the same reasons you felt a bit uncertain about the F/T measurement.
These tests aren’t exact and you will probably find bits and pieces of yourself scattered widely around types that share two or even just one of your letters. You’ll find if you take the test again in a week or a month that your results could differ!
Anyway, just wanted to say cheers from one ENFP to another~
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In a way, they kind of are. I can see why they’d think that. Maybe I’m just not informed enough, but I don’t know if there’s actually much difference between tulpas and alters besides how they are formed. I totally see what you’re getting at as well, though; there are HUGE differences between the way tulpas and DID/OSDD systems operate.
~fennec
Multiplicity seems to me to be a very misunderstood and often stigmatized thing - Regardless of how your headmate came about, they are deserving of being treated as a sentient and autonomous entity, just like you or me.
I assume the original author suggests alters as being the oft trotted out “headmate because of trauma” thing. As in, the only “real” headmates are alters caused by childhood abuse. Wikipedia is one glaring example of this, reducing the tulpa community to a bunch of people fantasizing about imaginary friends. Headmates who come to children who are suffering… That is a truly beautiful thing. To know that someone fought so hard to exist, so that they could protect you. Isn’t it also a beautiful thing to care so much about another mind that you will them into existence? That you fight for them, to make them real, and give them a life in our world? There is really no comparing the two, as they are so very different. But they are both wonderful, as more headmates make the world a much more pleasant and healthy place.
I can understand that there are those perhaps who feel that because their lives were affected by the trauma, or because they didn’t want headmates and that was forced upon them, that they might feel their situation is being inappropriately appropriated, or otherwise romanticized, when their headspace might be unsafe, or emotionally broken. I guess I’m asking people who feel that way to be patient with those who are singlets and don’t necessarily want to be. We don’t always get a choice as to what happens to us in our lives - but we do get a choice in how we respond to them. And beyond that, some people spontaneously end up with headmates even without a history of trying to create one, or because of some sort of trauma.
In the end, I think a headmate is a headmate. How they got to the headspace might differ vastly from system to system, but I think any headmate, of any sort, is deserving of the same respect we afford the people we interact with in the outside world.
Aha, so... It is time for another blog post. Uukukuku...
Last night, I listened to the tulpa hypnosis file again. This time, I was overcome with a very strong head-tingling/pressure when I accidentally started referring to her as Sucy. It was a mistake, but I found the sensation diminishing noticeably when I corrected myself back to “Lucy.” I think this is strong evidence that what I am developing is definitely a soulbond, which is fascinating. I did not expect this. Of course, if at some point she voices a desire to identify differently, I will happily oblige her.
Recently I got the notion in my head that it would be fun to see how our personalities shake out. So, we took some tests!
Of course, Sucy wasn’t taking it directly. I followed Positivity’s recommendation of channeling Sucy’s essence. It became easy to think how she would answer each question. I found that some questions stumped me, and forced me to think about how she would react to similar situations, drawing on what I know of her, and what I was able to feel.
It fascinates me to no end that our results could end up so differently - and yet, it makes perfect sense. Our personalities don’t overlap that much!
First, I had us both take the Meyers’ Briggs personality assessment. This was my result:
I tend to be a people person, and I aim to please, so this absolutely makes sense to me. A month or so ago, it had me pegged as an ENTP which I was a little bit more okay with - but... ah well.
I have taken the test twice for Sucy. The first time, I got INTP - the Logician, which seemed to suit her. Today, I got this result instead:
Okay so INTP I thought was a good fit, but this is actually so much more like her. The quiet, reserved nature, and then abrupt pranks or other mischievous activity, that often does not respect the boundaries of others. The only thing I can think that doesn’t quite fit her is “inability to stay focused on formal studies,” but these tests aren’t really meant to be 100% definitive, now are they?
Yesterday, we took a different sort of personality test, called the DiSC assessment. I decided the 16 types test just was not enough. We need more data points. How else are we to understand eachother, hmm?
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Things have been progressing steadily since I last wrote here. Despite my hectic schedule and the constant pressure of work, studies, and my need to escape, I have made time. Not always the half hour I shoot for, but I make time every day. I would not want to deprive dear Lucy of the life she craves and deserves.
It seems she may very well be something similar to a soulbond - she did not much like the name, “Lilith,” that I had given her. Her name has morphed to something closer to “Sucy,” the soul that provides her form and personality. I have gotten the feeling that the name is now more acceptable.
By the way - that is largely the way we have been “communicating.” It seems to be through feelings, or sort of an implicit knowing. It is very hard to explain what this means.
I participated in a recording of Positivity Hypnosis’ session on Tulpa creation/strengthening. Before that, I had done the PH session on anxiety reduction, and both worked to great effect. After having done the hypnosis session, I have started experiencing regular head pressure, when I turn my thoughts towards Lucy.
It’s hard. Sometimes I slip up and straight up call her Sucy, but I don’t want to do that -- I wouldn’t want her to think she cannot be allowed to be herself. If she truly does wish me refer to her that way, I would of course do so, but I just can’t tell one way or the other.
My plans for the immediate future include doing both of those PH meditations once more, and watching the rest of LWA - as I watch more, I understand Lucy that much better. I will also be providing some reference images for Lucy, and reblogging things that both of us find interesting.
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