colourlys

Manga/Cour 3 Spoilers

It's very sad and I'm also surprised I didn't learn from other sources, even in the periphery. Yu-Gi-Oh was one of my favorite shows and manga when I was younger. And during the covid lockdowns, by then I had already been through so much with my family for years. Like, events I won't mention at that time hit like a ton of bricks, whole buildings were falling on me. I would have just rather stayed on the ground because you couldn't fall any further when you were already there. There was a complete disconnect and break from who I was. The only thing I knew I could do to possibly find myself was to experience certain things that were foundational for me or that would support me, just that would even make me feel happy when I couldn't find happiness.

I couldn't even read regular fiction or my beloved nonfiction, and I was too scared to listen to music with headphones in, or even listen to it barely above a whisper, because of the trauma of not being able to hear if something was happening. Even kids screaming outside caused panic, and even now I am still recovering from that panic. Reminding myself I don't have to carry that, and it is safe.

But at that time, I reread the entirety of Yu-Gi-Oh on Viz and watched it on CrunchyRoll, and that helped. It helped a lot. I believe that you're supposed to experience certain things at certain times in order to help you grow, even stories will come back when there are messages you need to hear, receive, and learn from. And little did I realize at that time when I started that reread how relatable parts of the story would become, and how much those parts would help me find pieces of myself again and move forward. I even got to experience them with people, friends, I didn't have when I was younger, and that is still very valuable to me. I reread the series because it made me happy when I was younger, and I was able to add to the good memories I had with this series from when I was younger.

So learning that he passed away, tragically and honorably, that actually hurt to learn in a way that other passings don't. It's not that they're ever unimportant, the loss of a person is always important. But sometimes they hit a little different.