The Tiger and The Magpie

Found this on Pinterest,

magpie.

The day I'll stop posting "John Watson War PTSD" will be the end of an era.

jim and sebastian who are both fucked up people, who drive each other to higher and higher heights of violence, who don’t have a definable relationship beyond the neon burst of adrenaline the other brings. it is what it is, which is to say, something bright and sharp that can’t possibly last long before one or both of them burn up.

alternatively, jim and sebastian who come to understand each other deeply, despite not having made any other meaningful human relationships in their lives. they’ve both always felt seperate and disconnected from others, but for the first time, they’ve found a person who feels real. they’re not the same, not in the way jim always thought would be required for him to connect with someone, but they don’t have to be. they aren’t alone anymore.

intimacy issues TM: jim who doesn’t really think of himself as a human being, who has gone through life believing he’s a sociopath with no weak spots and no real emotions to speak of, who is suddenly confronted with the fact that he is not only incapable of killing sebastian anymore, but that he does care for another person. and he does not fucking handle it well. maybe he lashes out to prove to himself that it isn’t true, tries to push sebastian away or hurt him.

or maybe it’s about power, about nobody ever gets to me; maybe jim equates caring with weakness, and does everything he can to assert his dominance, stay aloof. keep sebastian in his proper place.

seb who is devoted, little better than a dog- he’ll admit it- but only for one man; he’ll stop at nothing to keep following jim, keep this going just a little while longer. he’ll be whatever jim needs, a warm body, a weapon, a soft voice or a whipping boy.

maybe jim isn’t able to love; maybe seb is just a toy or a distraction or a morbid experiment to see if he can build a shrine to himself in someone else’s chest. maybe jim uses him and gives nothing back; sometimes seb knows, and it’s fine. sometimes he never stops reaching for any shred of jim he can take for himself, and he never really can.

maybe sebastian is a revelation. he isn’t like jim but he isn’t like anyone else, either; they certainly aren’t going to fix each other but that doesn’t mean seb won’t always guide him, hollow eyed, back home; doesn’t mean jim won’t give sebastian a home to come back to, and every piece of himself he can spare.

speaking of seb as a revelation; maybe jim finally finds in him someone he trusts enough to fully hand himself over. sebastian doesn’t have to be the only one collared like a dog, on his knees.

Moriarty is finished and I’ve never felt more like Dr Frankenstein 😌

It took four days and my grandma repeatedly calling him sexy.