UhnNHHHHhHNNNn

me: this week has been so quiet and mysterious….I’ve been an 8 on the hozier scale of brooding and I’ve made love to the banshee

my therapist, finally worn down by my nonsense: okay, you know what, tell me the scale

me, unrolling an ancient scroll i’ve been keeping in my rucksack for just this occasion:

1. awake at dawn communing with the owls

2. holding a wake for a fox i found in a forest that had hyacinths growing from its chest

3. titties

4. finding the baba yaga

5. covering myself from head to toe in peony petals and walking into the sea

6. swimming in a peat bog and discovering the toads are all lesbians

7. assembling ikea furniture for my wife

8. titties again, but avant garde 

9. inviting the banshee in for tea

olives are a GIFT to us all

mango is fine

i’ve never gotten the point of hummus it’s always just disappointing

tomatoes are probably one of the worst things to exist (save for when used in ketchup)