full time tboy

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

uwahhh so peasful (full of peas)

that is supposed to say smile.

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!

one direction was gonna eat that girl. they bought her for food

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

one of my favorite memes, it's so sex positive and full of camaraderie and understanding.