DIP TRIPPIN

After much anticipation, the electric finale to the Cold Warps original concept prank known as "Hooing". More than 6 American States, and over a week and a half in the making, this exciting conclusion to the prank of the century, taking place somewhere in Maine WILL NOT DISAPPOINT. Co-ordinated under the guise of a standard "Windy City" shots session, success was finally ours. The trap was set, the veil well-concieved, our man Ryan could not have foreseen this. Please try this at home, tell your friends you learned it from Cold Warps.

I'd also like to point out that it was in Boone, NC that my pillow ended it's journey. Nobody knows where it is, and we don't want to use harsh terms like "taken", but let's just say that wherever my pillow is now, I hope he's happy, and making the best of his new life and surroundings. You were a good one, buddy.

Let's go back in time a bit, shall we? I told you there was more to talk about, and I wasn't lying. Here we are hanging out in our new pal Emily's house in Boone, NC, and taking a quick break to teach Ryan a lesson about humility. This was around 3 in the morning, and at the time it made perfect sense, but looking back we're realizing that her roommates were probably thinking "What the hell are those weird dudes DOING in the livingroom?" The surprising answer was: Waterboarding our buddy, while listening to Ram by Paul McCartney. These are tough times. We didn't even have a proper towel to use.

New York City was everything it needed to be. Large. Loud. Weird. Awesome. We stayed with Morgan's bud Mack in his rad warehouse loft in Brooklyn, and after our show at The Grand Victory, stayed up all night hanging on the rooftop, (above) listening to his roommates tell radical stories, and Lance and I ate maybe the most delicious sandwiches we've ever encountered. They were made at this lovely 24hour deli/store where Ry's gettin his stare on up there. Also in the morning, someone had pinched the other half of Lance's sandwich. No pointing fingers.. that was a theft-worthy sandwich if there ever was one.

Here's where we took a cool pit stop outside of Boone, NC, because our van was hemorrhaging oil all over the place. We were able to find a dealership who could fix it for us that day, so we spent the afternoon in an industrial park, hangin' at the McDonalds, lookin' at pet stores, sittin' on the grass, and suckin' up all the free wifi we could find. We ended up having to cancel our Philly show, unfortunately, but honestly it's better than cancelling the rest of the tour, and bussing home. Overall, we came out alright! Then on the way toward New York that night, we stopped at a rest station with some of the best signage we've ever come across. We also formed a Crime Crushing gang. DON'T MESS WITH US.

The very next day our van told us that it hated us, and we had to take it to a van doctor, and cancel our Philly show. But don't worry, because we made up and then we were friends again! More soon!

Here's some random stuff from our trip from Austin to Atlanta. Beautiful motel 6 bedspread themes, awesome signs, A+ bathroom graffiti, and the beginnings of our beautiful van art.

You know the theory behind hooing, and now you're anxious to see it in action! Check out our first attempt at a hooing, in our hotel room in Little Rock, Arkansas. Everything seems ready for a pitch-perfect hooing, but prank-victim Ryan Allen, has an ace up his sleeve. TO BE CONTINUED.

Cold Warps Original Prank: "HOOING" Part 1 Here, Morgan, Lance and Paul explain a brand new prank that's sure to be all the rage with college kids across North America. Developed in Little Rock, Arkansas, this innovative twist on a traditional college prank known as "icing" involves hiding a bottle of the classic American snack beverage known as Yoohoo. When the prank-victim, in this case, Cold Warps bassist Ryan "baby" Allen discovers the bottle, he has officially been "hoo'd" and must take a knee, and chug the bottle in it's entirety. That's the set-up, now get ready for Part Two of this exciting new prank by Cold Warps and friends!

Back on the road from Austin. Only half a day in the van, and already Paul's picked up a dirty new habit. Ryan found some new merch for his old band in the motel, and we saw this great billboard on the highway. "Be kind to strangers... Visit your in-laws." Can someone please explain this to us?

And then we packed up the van, and got back on the road. Ryan had to abandon his cool tour had because we found it in a puddle of rapidly spoiling almond milk in the back. The van smelled awful. We aired it out. The hotel valets must have hated us.

Firstly, Austin Texas: Did you know that it's so Miami? I didn't know this until these nice folks pointed it out with their cool kiosk. Maybe they're right? Also, look who we ran into? Look at those handsome Kestrels! Hi guys? And check out Pierre, Lance, Dom and Morgan owning the night streets of Austin. Oh, did we mention that through a pattern of poor planning, and sheer luck, we ended up staying at the downtown HILTON in Austin? Because we did. And there was a hot tub with a grotto. And you'd better believe we did that every morning. It's also the closest we've ever come to (unintentionally) trashing a hotel room the way bands are supposed to do. Oops.

We saw Parquet Courts play on a pedestrian bridge with like 500 people. Some genius thought it would be a good idea to climb the lamp post and moon everyone, and then got a lit cigarette thrown at his bare ass for the effort. Ryan and Pierre stayed to watch Merchandise on that same crazy bridge, and apparently there were fireworks being thrown INTO the crowd. Safety first, I guess, right?

Guess where we are? Tacos! Music! Way too much music! Tacos! People everywhere in a way that makes you feel sick to your stomache! Hanging out with our buddy Pierre from Bruised Tongue Records! Even more music! Even more tacos! Two shows down, and two more to go in Austin!

***Lime is neither sufficient nor necessary in the preparation of the Windy City Shot. However, Cold Warps recommends adding lime when it is contextually salient (e.g., if one finds oneself in a lime grove or tangy situation).

Bonus game: Spot the Morgan.

SAT MARCH 16th, 5:45pm @ HOTEL VEGAS (BURGERMANIA!) 1500 E. 6th Street, Austin, TX