ColdEggSandwich

This is the place

Sit down

You’re safe here

Empty all your pockets

Because its timeeee to come home.

Fish are BELLY UP?

AIR CONDITIONING?

Ouch

2018 and it stuck with me

Its why i love Wez anderson, my favourite film, possibly still is now. Isle of dogs. I have definitely mentioned it, its just like, well thats a dog, he is a Japanese boy called Atari, she is a white girl with curly hair, they dont understand but they are trying to work together.

My favourite thing about it

“Im not a violent dog, i dont know why i bite” ANIMAL NATURE FUCKING HELL ahaha

Always makes me cry.

*Hold your breath for as long as humanly possible during this time until someone realises*

Jokes! I like breathing! When I can…

Ventriloquists like their jobs because they can say something they would never say…

*Do ventriloquism with your hand here .. (“or do they.?)

Then look at the audience in fear *

“Time flies by when you’re having fun?” Then I must be having a terrible life because I’m… terribly slow-…

I like dreaming about being a comedian because I wanna make people laugh. That’s hard to do

Ooh dont joke about sad things.. that will make me laugh… what?

Houdini was a magician

Houdini is dead…. Or is he?

Was his death a final act

The DISAPPEARANCE

THIS ISN’T A JOKE ITS A THEORY

Nope.. I sound like Phil Dunphy

When I wasn’t even born yet my name was going to be Dylan.. shame it wasn’t because I’m a dopey little bitch who plays a guitar, it would’ve fit me well..

Hope everybody gets my very niche reference to Modern Family.

Who cares Hayley and… I won’t spoil anything for you..

Goodnight!

Ohhh I love when I can perfectly fit rectangles inside that boy