"I was raised by bats"

My witch of a grandmother gave me her beautiful encyclopedia on healing plants to celebrate Ostara! I told her about my blog and she asked me to share some of her advice “for those lovely internet disciples of yours”. No, Yeyé, that’s not how this works…

But hey! When the crone talks, you listen!

“A jar of glass keeps away envious spirits and people who want to hurt you.”

“Everything dead deserves to be honored.”

“Strings of seeds bring prosperity.”

“A stone in the windowsill is a soldier that keeps away thieves, but make sure it’s not a pretty rock cause they might steal it!”

“When you trim a vine, keep some branches by the door so all the hard work you’ve done doesn’t disappear in a single day!”

“When you’re old and can’t move so much anymore, keep a jar of seeds by the Gods so they can pick their offerings as they please.”

“I keep lavender by the computer because it helps me remember how to open Facebook. Lavender is good for memory. Tell your friends of the internet.”

“I keep the obsidian and the agathe geodes in front of the TV so there will be no bad news.”

So there you have it.

Advice from an authentic crone with over 70 years of Craft , Old Yeyé.

She wishes you all many blessings and love and hopes you are all well guided.

Happy new season from lucky Old Yeyé!

attention @ everyone who cares about animals!!!!!!!!!!

tl;dr: do NOT buy this brand of flea medicine. always do research before buying any kind of medication for your animals.

my boyfriend bought this at petsmart for our cat and when we put it on her, she started licking it bc i guess i accidentally placed it too low and he got worried so we’ve been on google to find out if it’ll harm her. we found some scary stuff.

it doesn’t happen to every cat that this product is used on, but there are reports of this product seriously hurting cats. it burns their skin and can be very painful. the screenshots above are reviews from amazon for the one in the blue box. the one we used is the one in the purple box.

some cats had reactions right away while others took a few hours. we put this on our cat about an hour ago (washed it off of her soon after) and she seems fine but we’re so worried about what could happen. even if nothing happens, this is a chance we never would had taken if we’d known.

• Chris and Victor start the guide with complimenting each other for a job well done and toast, clinking champagne glasses together (and unlike Yuuri, no one gets sloshed here)

• Chris comments that it seems like someone is listening on his and Victor’s conversation, and says that eavesdropping isn’t a good hobby

• Chris asks if the listener wants to see his “mature eros” and remarks that “the ice is going to be soaking wet with our hot steps”

• They arrive at the area with the costumes and Chris explains that the inspiration to his short program opens with a shower scene….

• Porno-style jazz music starts to play in the background

Chris: Tonight, you are mine… Come, don’t be embarrassed. Look at me, you’re mine, come closer. Ahh, once, twice like that, let me teach you something good about how humans move…

• Meanwhile, Victor starts moaning Chris’ name in the background and making a variety of pornographic noises while Chris is talking

Victor: Ahh, baby… I-… ughnnn, ohhh, Chris, ahhh, come, hold me tight, ahhh, open your heart… Chris! Ahh, Chris, amazing!

Chris: …Hey, Victor…. can you shut up?

• It is honestly really, really, REALLY difficult to focus on anything Chris is saying when Victor is MOANING SEX INTO YOUR EAR • Also everything Victor says is in English. e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g

Moving on…

• Victor and Chris start talking about Yuuri at the Sochi banquet. Chris remarks about how Yuuri was “extremely entertaining” to which Victor replies that Yuuri was also “amazing” at the Barcelona banquet

• Chris remarks about how he didn’t think he could lose to anyone at pole dancing

• They come up to the part of the museum where there’s a Makkachin tissue case and Victor starts excitedly talking about how he saw it was featured on tv in Japan.

Chris: Victor, I can teach you how to properly use… Makkachin’s tissue case (…I think Chris was making a masturbation joke here but I can’t be sure)

• Chris asks Victor if he remembers ten years back, during the European Championships when Victor won gold and Chris made his senior debut, remarking that they’ve both come very far since then

Victor: You were so cute back then! I had no idea that you were gonna become such a precise Eros machine

• Once they get to the Kiss&Cry, Victor observes that Chris’s glass is empty and offers to get him a refill of champagne

Chris (alone): This was the first season without Victor. When I first saw Victor acting as a coach, with Yuuri at his side, I thought it wasn’t like Victor at all, he was so serious… But seeing him at the GPF, in the Kiss& Cry… it really was like the same Victor that’s out on the ice. I was jealous of Yuuri. I want to be able to show Victor my true skating as well.

Victor: Thanks for waiting, whatcha talking about? Chris: …A private matter….

(Chris sounded really sad about not being able to skate against Victor, yet also happy for his relationship with Yuuri at the same time. Poor conflicted bb)

• Chris and Victor reach the end of the museum, with Chris making a remark about how fun it was.

• Victor counters that he wants to see the REAL Chris, the kind that he gets to see at banquets….

Victor: Look, there’s no one here, this is perfect, and look! I have a Makkachin tissue case! Chris: Victor, you always want too much… Do you really want to see? Victor: Yep, show me!! Chris: Fine… Makkachin pole dance… start!

• Chris starts pole-dancing with the Makkachin tissue case, saying Makkachin’s name repeatedly, and… it gets weird. Avert your eyes, children.

Chris: Makkachin! Makkachin! Makka-chiiiiii~n! Victor: Wow, amazing! Chris: Makkachin’s tissue case is dancing too! Makkachin! It’s Makkachin! Victor: Excellent!

Chris: Ahh, Makkachin! I’m coming, Makkaaaachiiiiiiin!!!

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Cyanide: Easy to pronounce, very bad for you.

Eicosapentaenoic acid: Difficult to pronounce, very good for you.