Grrr

being unfollowed by a mutual is so heartbreaking......is it bc I'm talking about my dead dad too much....bc babe it's annoying the fuck out of me too fr I'm so over this lmfao

very sad day when u realize a mutual has deactivated. baby come back. was it me??? I can change......

started crying going in the work the other day bc i imagined accidentally running over an animal but not killing it so it just lays there slowly dying in pain and that's what i believe my dad was going through as he was dying. For a week i helped my mom pump him full of Dilaudid and antivan every 4 hours then every 2 hours because it still wasn't enough judging by how he moaned and wheezed all day and night. and he was still seemed in agony until he took his last breath so it feels like nothing we did for him actually mattered. i know it wasnt my fault and i did everything i could but that week haunts me bc i feel like i could've done more, could've tried harder and that this was my final failure as his daughter. there's a lot i didn't like about my dad but he didnt deserve that