zara!!

Today’s Friday, though.

I see this post every Friday and I’m convinced that ya’ll are queueing this

I’ve lost track of time this is the only way I know its Friday please keep queueing this

STOP THIS

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

Look at the internet’s son engaging in real world activities 😢

My boy going to the league!

we’re doing a great job raising him tbh

until we yeet again…

if a girl does that thing where she puts her hand up to urs and is like “wow ur hands are so big!” she is trying to bang u. just a tip to u all

he’s cured

actually if you look at the heart monitor hes flat lining

Gotta die somehow.

A miracle

WHO THE FUCK WAnts to lay in bed with me and kiss a lot

do people actually put thought into zodiac posts or do people just randomly write down what soap the signs are

sounds like something an exfoliating citrus soap would say