millions lesbians

cant have sex with my IOS wife because my dick doesn't fit her portussy so now i have to go to the shitfuck apple store and buy the like 200 dollar strapple

@virtualgirladvance @k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl

My first GFs strap was almost that much and it was the worst I've ever tried so this is very real tbh

“You get to drive away”

@wyrdle look at thissss

CRYING PERFECTION

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

Please don’t take your pets for granted. Even if you’re frustrated that your dog has been barking all day or your bird has been screaming for attention, remember you are all they have in this world. Give your fish that extra water change. Give your dog or cat that tummy rub they’ve been begging for. Chop up some fresh fruit as a treat for your rodents or reptiles. Just spend some time with them. Be compassionate to your animals. They are living creatures that are alive simply because you wish them to be. They may only be a small part in your life, but to them, you are their everything.

apparently one of the ways to say "shaved my head" in Japanese is "頭を坊主にした" which is literally something like "did the monk thing to my head"

always remember that there are material actions you can take to help transfems right now such as fucking her ass or killing her landlord

begging you gals to critically examine your relationship with transfemininity and interrogate your internalized transmisogyny because it is so very obvious that some of you haven't. i promise you will be so much happier and healthier and comfortable with yourself if you do so. like so many posts on this site i see have me sitting here like "girl the call is coming from inside the house you need to reexamine that thought process." learn to love yourself and have some self respect.

this goes out to the girls whose eggs were cracked by fetish porn. this goes out to the girls who spent their formative years on 4chan or other insular online communities. this goes out to the girls who think their suffering defines their transness. this goes out to the girls who think chasers are the best they can do. you deserve better. you may not believe it but you do.

I'd vote for him if he actually said this

having to pay for parking at a hospital will always be fucking deranged to me. Sorry

Tumblr is a fate driven website. You can't find posts through the search function, you see them when you're meant to.

Anybody want me to shut the fuck up for $500?