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The quest of an individual can only and ever be individual, that is, unique. The quest, made possible and aided by the tradition, developes the individual, enabling individual wyrd to be understood, and lived. It is also makes possible Immortality. Beyond a certain level, Initiates guide themselves – learning from their own real-life experiences. That is, they have acquired sufficient self-insight and honesty to enable them to do this. When this stage is reached, there should be still a following of the ultimate goal – a striving for the Abyss and beyond, although this ‘striving’ will be more balanced than hitherto.
In respect of culling, two things should be remembered. First, that we are, by our very sinister nature, amoral. Second, that culling is one of the primary things which serves to distinguish us - our sinister kind - from those who pretend to be sinister, of the Left Hand Path, or who describe themselves as “satanists" but who lack our inner sinister nature.
We are amoral in real life; which means we reject all limits except those who impose upon ourselves. We reject all morality except our own. We reject each and every law made by mundanes, and consider that their laws, their restrictions, do not apply to us, to our sinister kind.
Balewa; I am and have been wicked. That is, I Am Gray – balanced between, and yet beyond, Light and Dark. And in this one statement there lies the reality of my life, and the essence of ληθαἀέ – that which lies behind the outer (false) appearance that covers or may conceal the real Reality beyond mundane perception and beyond all limited causal abstractions. As someone once wrote:
πολλὰς ἔχομεν ὁδούς κρύπτειν – ὀνομάζειν – τινὰ πράγματα
καὶ τὴν τέχνην, ὅταν ἐθέλωμεν φανερῶσαι τὴν σημασίαν αὐτῶν
We have many ways to conceal – to name – certain things
And the skill when we wish to expose their meaning
(Hesiod, Theog, 27-28)
From wayward flocks in dire rest,
To enclave driven slumbers,
Now waken ye thy fallen crest,
And bathe in flame your lumbers.
Sing the songs and strafe the squares,
And face your changeling fears,
Then spiral dance the upward stairs,
Of wyrding helix spheres.
Brave the woods in darkest night,
With cruel abandon’s hymn,
Then come to life in endless fight,
When cosmic tides are dim.
Break the lock and smash the wall,
Then fast disarm the trap,
That siren blares the labyrinth call,
And follow ye this map.

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When we are criticized for championing what is heretical in our societies, we say: so what? For that is what we do… Thus do we seek to ignore, to transgress, the laws, the limits, that the mundanes set to protect themselves and their societies, for we are rebellion itself: outlaws who thrive beyond and in the margins that mark the boundary between The Light and The Dark.
I had begun more intense devotion to Bhairavi. Since then things have occurred of a harsh nature, reminding me of the perishability and futility of the human ego or the human nature itself. A highlight of the situation occurred last night in my usual “mentorship“ by a Russian woman from the Abyss Nations Union. out of affinity and respect for her I sometimes refer to her as Maa or Bhairavi-she has not asked me to do such at all. It just happened one day suddenly – when she said “sometimes it’s like I’m your mother“.
Last night, in our unorthodox, and rather simple manner of communication, she swiftly dismembered several of my “ego – shields“ and revealed flaws or weaknesses in my beliefs and nature. It was not very nice or comfortable, and I ended up particularly angry and fed up with myself, whilst I could tell she was laughing her cruel laugh, knowing what I was thinking.
In regard to the worship of Krishna, she is skeptical.
She asked me – “Is Bhairava not your way? Do you want to wear white now and be like an angel? Do you want to be nice and polite? Do you want to quit drinking, smoking or having sex now? Do you want to smell sweet?”
“Do you want to worship Krishna or Bhairava?”
Bhairava, Bhairavi and the associated similar deities like Katari Amman or Kali-Maa-and one tradition –ONLY. Other things can be mentioned now and then – as being aspects of Bhairava and His remembrance or worship.
It may mean the sacrifice of certain things for greater focus and intensity on what is truly important.
For us, the sinister way and the numinous way re-present two different types of 'acausal knowing' and when these two types of knowing are combined (that is, acquired, learnt from personal experience not from books or from someone else), one has the apprehension of Reality that lies beyond what is conventionally termed The Abyss – that is the perception and the understanding of a genuine Mage and which perception and understanding is the genesis of wisdom, and a knowing, an understanding, of all causal forms (including so-called conflicting opposites) as just limited often distorted causal forms of The Essence beyond them.
In my moments of Sauroctonos solitude, I’ve found solace and kindred spirits within the Sinister Tradition. It is a path misunderstood by many, demonized and marginalized, yet we persist. There’s something resilient about us, isn’t there? As if we are part of a cycle, a wheel that turns no matter how heavy the burden. Much like the unyielding cycles of nature, the wheel of life turns relentlessly, unaffected by any attempt to halt its course. To resist is a futile endeavor.
The Sinister Tradition’s beauty lies in the diversity of the paths we take forward. While most become lost in the labyrinth, there are those among us who emerge as extraordinary, even elite. I urge you to disregard the loud voices of edgelords and the public figures who sensationalize spooky and satanism—they are simply spinning in the labyrinth, and we will leave them there. You either evolve, or you remain as one who serves.
Much like Mother Nature, savagery is often misunderstood; it is, in fact, a pragmatic and efficient system. This entire process acts as a filter, much like other occult systems, sifting through the noise to reveal what is true and valuable.
Eventually I shall be at one with Satan, a form that is not dead whatever others. (outside of the Tradition) may say. Practically Satan is a fundamental archetype of the West re-expressed, reborn, revitalised. Who can really know the essence of Satan unless he or she follows a Sinister or Satanic Path?…How then can a judgement be made when the reality of Satan is not experienced? Are such judgements made only from what has been read? Perhaps such judgements only come from imitation, from a desire to be perceived as a new adversary, a new Satan...

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Yet even now I do not know what lies ahead
Now is my time to seek the glory of my Gods
That I may one day walk with Satan
In His world,
With His Bride
And that I may also Become
Something far greater than the mortal
I am leaving behind,
The mortal that must die
That a God may be born.
Dies irae, dies ilIa,
solvet saeclum in favilla,
teste Satan cum sybilla,
quantos tremor est futurus,
quando Vindex est venturus,
cuncta stricte discussurus,
dies irae dies illa.
To surpass myself I must truly know myself. This is when the real change will happen, and when I shall become as Satan.
The Way is there; it works: for the few. And it for these few that we reserve our applause. After all, it is just Life changing, evolving, as it changes and evolves in this one small causal part of the Cosmos – a game for some, perchance a τραγῳδία for others; an exeatic drama to enhance our own brief temporary causal living, perchance to propel us thence toward our own acausal life.
ἔστι δ᾽ ὅπη νῦν
ἔστι: τελεῖται δ᾽ ἐς τὸ πεπρωμένον:
οὔθ᾽ ὑποκαίων οὔθ᾽ ὑπολείβων
οὔτε δακρύων ἀπύρων ἱερῶν
ὀργὰς ἀτενεῖς παραθέλξει
What is now, came to be
As it came to be. And its ending has been ordained.
No concealed laments, no concealed libations,
No unburnt offering
Can charm away that firm resolve

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Lunar beams
Aeonic dreams
Night forever fallen
Blood and trees
The moon decrees
The dark pool open
In our veins runs the blood of three hundred and thirty-three dark angels, expelled from their celestial abodes and raised beyond the gate of Saturn.