TW LAUGHING AT MY TRAUMA

Sharing from my main account, Sorry to do this again 💔

Needed.

Hey guys I haven't been on tumblr in a few months and I'm sorry for that. I've been going through some stuff and I didn't want it bring anyone else down. I'm going to try to be more active again. Thanks for 850 followers 💙 I don't even know how many I had before but I know it wasn't that much so thanks ✨

Oh wow sorry that was kind of insensitive considering the nature of this blog I'm so sorry... the fact that there's so many people who have gone through trauma is nothing to be happy about. I love you guys and hope you're all doing ok 💙

not to be positive on main but sometimes things really are ok. sometimes you really will be happy and safe and warm. sometimes you really will be giggly and blushy and full of love. sometimes the night is chilly and your home is cozy and your tea is perfectly steeped and your phone lights up with a message from someone you love. sometimes life really is quite lovely.

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

doing anything is hard when you’re depressed but sitting around in apathy ain’t gonna help. get the fuck up. seriously. do one thing. open the curtains. dust your monitor. throw away those leftovers in the fridge from last week. clean the bathroom sink. its an ocean of bullshit and you need to swim. break the cycle of misery and guilt and apathy so you can get better. its hard. do it anyway. recovery starts with breaking the cycle. baby steps, but steps.

it’s not ableist or anything to tell someone with depression to do something. look. it’s hard. it sucks. but you wont get better if you don’t do anything. depression is a cycle. you dont have energy to do things, so things dont get done, so you feel guilty, which makes you more depressed, with less energy, and so on. but you can’t recover if you dont start. you can’t get help without getting it. that’s a verb! you need to do it! do something! break the cycle and you’ll start to recover. it’s a long, difficult process, and you can’t do it alone, and you might need medication and therapy, but you can’t get on the road to recovery if you’re staying inside with the curtains closed. you can’t even open the curtains without taking baby steps. you can’t take baby steps until you stand up. so stand up.

🌷 a flower for anyone having a bad day today. i love you

oh haven’t you heard???? things will get better and you will be okay