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any time i copy paste a message to send to 2 different chats i feel like such a fake ass bitch but im choosing to look at it as the digital equivalent of standing in a doorway hollering so people in both rooms can hear me
Kryptonite is a bizarre plot device when you break it down. Not just the logistics of so much of it following Kal-El to Earth (you can explain that as some sort of hyperdrive suction or something) but the idea that irradiating someone's homework shuts down their powers, which come from stellar radiation. Just being around the stuff shuts down a native inhabitant, and only that species.
That brings up the oddity of Kryptonians thriving in yellow sunlight, rather than their native red sun. It's moved far beyond the John Carter on Mars low-gravity explanation; Kryptonians in yellow sunlight are demigods.
And then there's the strange decline Kryptonians went through- they were space travellers at one point, but eventually conveniently collapsed back to their homework to die. It's a detail that tends to be awkwardly handwaved away, especially in Man of Steel, and pretty unnecessary for the Superman plot (the spaceship that saves baby Ka-El could be basically little more than prototype tech).
And putting it all together brings up a possibility that I've never seen explored: Krypton is a prison and a quarantine zone for a once powerful empire of superfolk. Hell, Kryptonians, almost uniquely, also have this subdimensional prison that they use for their worst defenders, the solitary confinement wing of the prison planet.
Kryptonians worshipped their red sun, Rao, as a god, but it was the thing holding them back. Rao was their nuclear Gnostic archon, poisoning them with his red light.
And the destruction of Krypton is often depicted as something that its ruling class (or, in perhaps the best version from the animated series, Braniac) knew about kept hidden from its people, until Jor-El revealed the truth. It points to an institutional culture of deception.
And you start to wonder, a planet just exploding, actually exploding into tiny little chunks from seismic or volcanic or whatever activity- that's kind of insane right?
I once saw someone put forth a similar (if less drastic) theory about DC Martians, based on the known interference of the Guardians of the Universe on account of the Burning Martians. The idea was that the reason the race of shapeshifting telepathic pseudo-Kryptonians living in our cosmic backyard never had much of an impact on the larger solar system (much less the rest of the universe) prior to the Erdel Incident was because, in addition to engineering a psychosomatic weakness to fire into them, the Guardians might have given them a species-wide case of cosmic agoraphobia that nipped any thoughts of leaving their planet in the bud.
Whether that is actually the case or not, it's not too difficult to imagine a link between a potential prison-world Krypton and the intergalactic organization with a known affinity for using semi-mystical wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation and a sketchy track record on human rights, either the Guardians themselves or some other Oan splinter faction.
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An unlocked, unguarded door with a sign saying "NO ENTRY, DO NOT OPEN" and it opens up right to a solid brick wall and on the brick wall is a sign saying "WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM"
In this Bible story (Matthew 15:21-28), Jesus is traveling abroad when a Canaanite woman runs up and begs Him to cure her daughter, who's being tormented by a demon. Jesus tests her faith, saying His mission is only to the Jews, not to Gentiles like her, but at her humility, persistence, and unshakable faith, He finally honors her and answers her prayer, and her daughter is immediately cured, presumably without Jesus having to go to her at all.
In this cartoon, we cut away from Jesus and the Canaanite woman to imagine the curing of the woman's daughter. In this cartoon, the demon leans over the tormented girl, whispering poison into her soul. Then the angels show up, dressed like mafia heavies. Gabriel, ever the spokesman, plays up the mafioso bit with all the quips, accent, and slang that he can muster. Meanwhile, Michael, ever the warrior, prepares for a very one-sided fight.
Gabriel starts by barging into the house and SAYING "knock knock" instead of actually knocking on the door first. This is a power move to assert dominance.
Gabriel tells the demon to pack up, make like a tree, and scramoose. There's a common idiom that goes thusly: "Make like a tree and LEAVE." It's a way to tell someone to go away while playing on the similarity between the words "leave" (like "go away") and "leaf" or "leaves" (like the green stuff in trees). Gabriel uses the first half of the saying but not the second, which messes up the whole point of the idiom. This is a power move to assert dominance. Because the idiom is so well-known, a subversion like this ends up being funny by cutting off the obvious, expected punchline, and replacing it with something unfitting and absurd. I worked very hard on this new joke, so please don't steal it and go back in time to use it before me so I look like I stole it. Thanks in advance!
"Scramoose" is a mix between "scram" (like "go away") and "vamoose" (like "go away") for double the "go away" action! This is a power move to assert dominance.
For those who don't know, "sign language" is a form of communication where people use hand gestures to represent letters or words. It's commonly used for the hearing or vocally impaired, who can't use normal spoken languages. Because sign language involves "talking" with your hands, in this cartoon, Gabriel uses "sign language" as a euphemism for "beating someone up." This is a power move to assert dominance.
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star trek would be the ideal fictional universe to get trapped in because you'd explain your situation and they'd be like yeah makes sense. no further questions. fortunately we can use the mysterious warp signature emitting from this system's icy moon to counterface with the solar radiation and slingshot you back home
one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.
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