You Ain't Just Whistling Dixie

Snatching the last bit of the beloved pastry right from the middle of the table.

“Damn it,” you muttered, crossing your arms when he chuckled. “You cheated.”

“Oh, yeah?” he smirked, making a show of taking a slow bite. Your eyes followed his tongue licking his lips and you pressed your thighs together without thinking. The bastard made eating look sexy and he didn’t even take a full bite. He was taunting you. “How did I do that?”

“You cheated by existing.” You gestured to him, your smoking hot husband in his black t-shirt and tactical pants. To the person who made those clothes, you saluted them. “And you have serum in your veins, so I’m pretty sure you don’t have to blink as much as I do and that’s an unfair advantage.”

He chuckled again, graciously passing over the last small bite of the pastry. Your eyes lit up in thanks, popping it in your mouth with a moan. It was true love to share food like that. “I don’t think that’s how the serum works,” he teased. “And you’re a goddess, so isn’t that cheating, too?”

“Okay, but I’m not actually a goddess,” you countered, though he did make you feel like one.

His eyes softened, leaning across the table and crooking his finger. “Yeah, you are,” he whispered, kissing your lips once you met him halfway.

Before you could deepen the kiss, a shrill voice rang out in the breakroom. “Sergeant Barnes! There you are!”

Bucky’s cheek twitched as he settled back in his seat. The voice echoing in the room would’ve been enough to make anyone wince, but his enhanced hearing made it worse. He worked hard to block out noises so he’d be comfortable, and your eyes instantly narrowed at the person who brought him discomfort.

You recognized her after a moment, a pretty woman who would likely fall out of her top if she sneezed too hard. She hadn't worked there long, but she had her eye on Bucky from the start. She always flirted with him, tried to stand close to him and push her chest close, and he always dropped in the conversation that he was a married man. Apparently she didn’t get the hint that he wasn't interested. Either that or she was into taken men.

“Hi, agent,” Bucky politely said.

“Agent. Always so formal,” she giggled, dragging a chair over from another table and taking a seat without asking. “I’ve been looking all over for you, Barnes. You're a hard man to track down.”

Bubbly agents didn’t bother you in the slightest. You appreciated anyone who could stay upbeat in the line of work you dealt with. It wasn’t the enamored look in her eyes either that bothered you because you understood people wanting Bucky and you were secure in your relationship. No, what bothered you was that he had clearly been kissing his wife and she pointedly avoided looking at you after interrupting. That was just rude.

It also bothered you how uncomfortable Bucky looked when she moved her chair closer to him, his shoulders stiff and smile not reaching his eyes.

“Been spending some time with my wife,” he said proudly, reaching across the table to take your hand. You dipped your head down with a small smile, your heart still doing that funny flip like it had since the moment you met. He even managed to clear out the room so you two could be alone. “We were just finishing up.”

She didn’t spare you a glance as she set a hand on his metal arm. His cheek twitched again, squeezing your hand. It took a lot of effort for you to not knock her back from the table for touching him without his permission. “Excuse me,” you began, your tone even. “I don’t-”

“Do you think you could spar with me later?” she cut you off and either didn’t see or ignored your glare, leaning forward in her seat to make her chest stick out more. Bucky didn’t look. “I’ve been having trouble with a couple of moves and you’re so good at them,” she added, her eyes on him like she wanted to eat him up.

Which wasn’t going to happen.

“I don't think…” he stopped when her fingers trailed higher.

“Please, Sergeant?” she pouted.

Your eyes went back to your husband to get a read on him and make sure he was okay. He wasn't. His smile still didn't look right and his back was ramrod straight. Squeezing his hand seemed to ground him since he breathed a little easier, though your anger was simmering.

“I, um, don’t mind sparring if you really need the help,” Bucky began, gently pulling his arm away. “But you interrupted my time with my wife.”

Her smile faltered while yours widened. Bucky didn't like anyone cutting you off, whether that was your time together or interrupting you speaking. “What?” she asked.

“Hi there. Been sitting here the whole time.” You wiggled your fingers when she finally looked your way. “Excuse us for a second,” you said, avoiding her stare the way she avoided yours. “Bucky, do you think you can wait outside? This agent and I need to have a little chat.”

Your husband looked like he was trying not to laugh and you would take laughter over discomfort any day of the week. “Be nice if you can,” he teased, pressing a featherlight kiss to your hand. “I love you, baby,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” you whispered, something unspoken passing between the two of you.

Defending each other was second nature, always would be.

Bucky didn’t immediately leave the room when he stood up. Instead he rounded the table so he could bend down and kiss your mouth, too. You smiled as it lingered, your heart skipping a beat. “Don’t keep me waiting out there long, Mrs. Barnes,” he whispered.

“I won't, Mr. Barnes,” you teased, tucking some of his hair behind his ear.

Straightening up, he gave a small nod to the agent for her sake. “Come find me later if you still want to talk about sparring. Maybe I can find someone for you.”

“Okay, Sergeant,” she smiled, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. That look wouldn’t last.

You waited until Bucky was gone to face the agent, who stopped smiling the second your husband was out of sight. Leaning back in your seat, you crossed your arms and asked point-blank, “You trying to fuck my husband?”

The wide-eyed expression was priceless when she realized you weren't asking as a joke. “What are you... I just asked him to spar,” she tried to brush it off.

“Please, don't insult my intelligence,” you said. It was beneath both of you to do so. “I get why you want him. Besides being one of the sexiest creatures to ever exist, he’s a good man. Polite, probably treats you with respect. More than most of the men around here.”

She shifted away from you and nodded. “He's a nice guy.”

“He is,” you agreed. They didn't make men like Bucky anymore. “And I’m not going to tell you to stop hitting on my husband, but I highly suggest that you back off. At the very least, don’t throw yourself at him right in front of me. It’s sad.”

“Why?” She had the nerve to smirk. “Worried I’ll steal him away?”

You smirked, too. She had balls and you respected that, but this wasn’t a battle she’d win. “Steal him away? You make it sound like he’s a toy and he isn’t. He’s a man, my man,” you said, holding up your hand so she could get a good look at your wedding ring. “And you are not a threat in the slightest. Our bond is much stronger than that.”

Her smirk went away fast, replaced by something sad. You almost felt sorry for her until she said, “Jealousy isn't a good look on you. It’s kind of… ugly.”

You scoffed. If she wanted to play, you’d play. “Jealous of what? You hitting on a married man who doesn't want you?” you asked, not feeling guilty in the slightest when her face fell. “I’m not telling you to back off because I'm jealous. I told you that because you’re only going to embarrass yourself if you keep trying and you’re going to make my husband more uncomfortable than he already is. I don’t like people making my husband uncomfortable.”

An unspoken threat hung in the air long enough that she swallowed. “And how exactly did I make him uncomfortable?”

“Besides you hitting on him, you touched him without making sure it was okay to do so,” you answered, letting a bit of venom seep into your tone. Bucky went years without autonomy and consent was important to you. He suffered enough and didn’t need to deal with things like this. “I’d hope as an agent you’d be able to pick up on subtle body language cues enough to know that he didn’t want you touching him.”

“And how do you know he doesn’t want me touching him? Are you a mind reader or something?” she sneered, flicking a nonexistent piece of flint from her shirt. “If he really didn't want me touching him, he would've said so. And guess what? He didn't say a word.”

You saw red, your hands curling into fists. For her to ignore the nonverbal cues… “I know my husband. I know Bucky. He doesn’t want you touching him nor does he want to start anything with you because he’s extremely faithful. He won’t throw away a loving, trusting marriage for a quick fuck or doomed affair,” you stated. She bristled, but tried to recover. “If you make a pass at him, he’ll reject you. He’ll do it as respectfully as he can because he’s a good guy, but he will reject you. That’s a promise.”

“Because he loves you so much. Jesus, what makes you so special?” she spat, surprising you both. But the longer you looked at her, the more she deflated under your stare. “I mean… He doesn’t say much to me, but when he does it’s always about you. ‘My wife this’ and ‘my wife that’ and he’s always so… proud.” She shook her head. “Do you know how lucky you are?”

You did feel a little sorry for her now. Crushes hurt, but better that she hurt now and heal than to keep pushing and hurt more later. “I’m not special. We just love each other, that’s all. And, trust me, I’m aware that I’m very lucky to have him. Someone who gets me and will fight for and beside me,” you said, a loving smile touching your lips. You hoped Bucky was listening outside the door. “There’s a guy out there waiting for you, but that guy isn’t Bucky. So don’t lower yourself by trying to go after someone who’s taken.”

She side-eyed you, crossing her arms over her ample chest. “And what if I don’t stop?” she asked.

You giggled humorously, all sympathy gone. The agent actually looked nervous at that sound and you were glad because you weren't going to play nice. “Well, if you don't back off, Bucky could make a complaint about you harassing him or at least request that you’re transferred. Maybe fired since you’re still in your probationary period,” you began, looking at your wedding band when she began to protest. “At the very least, I could have your schedule rearranged so you can spar with me. You see, Bucky taught me a few moves and if a bone or two breaks, well…”

It wasn't an empty threat either. Bucky loved fighting for you, but you could hold your own. It turned him on.

Her eyes darted to the door when you stood up and stretched. “Listen, you don't need to-”

“But do you know what I'm going to do for now?” you asked, cutting her off the way she cut you off. “I'm going to take my husband to one of the interrogation rooms and suck the soul out of his body through his incredible cock,” you smiled sweetly, taking pleasure in the sputtering sound she made. “And after he recovers, he’ll have the choice of bending me over the table and either eating or fucking my pussy. He’ll probably choose both. He’s pretty insatiable.”

She got to her feet, too, and you half expected to see smoke come out of her ears. “I don't need to hear–”

“What? Does hearing that Bucky is going to fuck me and not you make you uncomfortable?” you asked innocently before you got close to her. “Shove your tits in my husband's face again or touch him without his explicit consent, and I won't just make you uncomfortable. I’ll make your life a living hell.”

While you lost the staring contest to Bucky earlier, you very much won against this agent. She stood perfectly still and averted her gaze as you pushed your chair in. “Is that a threat?” she mumbled.

A cliche question, so why not give a cliche answer? “It’s a promise,” you smiled, heading to the door. “Oh, if he does decide to spar with you, I expect you to apologize and behave yourself. I’ll hear about it if you don't.”

Bucky leaned against the wall, waiting for you as you exited the room. He looked over the moon. “We’re going to one of the interrogation rooms, huh?”

You giggled, taking his hand as your cheeks warmed. “Of course, that's what you took from that.”

“How could I not?” he asked, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “Thanks, baby. I thought I dropped enough hints that she’d back off.”

“Nothing to thank me for,” you assured him. He deserved to be comfortable at work. If some guy kept hitting on you, he would've stepped in, too.

“You think she’ll back off now?”

“I think so, but you tell me if she doesn't,” you said. You’d keep an eye on her, too, just in case. And if she pushed again, you’d put her back in her place. Maybe you’d make her listen while Bucky fucked you. With his permission, of course. “So, which room should we go to?”

He chuckled, the sound a happy one in the hall. “Room B. We can be as loud as we want,” he replied, tugging you closer. “I’ll show you just how special you are to me.”

Heat filled your body, anticipating how good it would feel to have him fuck your throat and more. “My body is ready, Sergeant,” you teased, shrieking when he picked you up and ignoring the whistles from other agents that walked by.

They were used to the shenanigans of Mr. and Mrs. Barnes by now.

And you couldn't wait for more.

Just like we deserve a loving Bucky, he deserves love, too. ❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Making his way into the kitchen he hears you in the distance muttering with an irked inflection as you organise blankets in the laundry. No, you’re not chastising yourself, you’re in an argument with your inner wolf. Steve just smirks and begins to unload the box of goodies. This has become his favourite song, this snarky duet between you and the little ball of fluff you have not entirely welcomed into your heart. Secretly he hopes you both never lose your fire. He shouldn’t, it’s selfish of him he knows, but your passionate and stubborn disposition had been an unexpected delight after discovering you at the door to his cabin. It’s your fight that made him fall harder for you.

There isn’t much left to prepare, and if he had his way you’d be christening the dated couch, feasting on one another instead of setting up the cabin for your impending special week, but he has to be ready. He knows this.

You’re a frazzled, beautiful sight stomping from the laundry to the bedroom, your arms weighted with a mountain of blankets. It is clear that you are still deep in the depths of your gloom from this morning’s discussion about coming to the cabin, but the Alpha is confident he can pull you out of your bad mood with quick work with his tongue or fingers. 

Patience, he reminds himself, his inner wolf nipping at him eagerly. There will be plenty of uninterrupted time for that, once he puts the groceries away and you’ve put the final touches to your nest. Although, up until this point he has been more than generously composed, suffering through four agonising days of building rut-like symptoms. He’s been a saint not to bend you over every piece of possible furniture and fuck you silly.

He’s methodical and punctilious in the way he arranges the groceries, pushing down the raging and heated thoughts involving old couches and table tops that threaten to boil over from the building simmer. Hydrating drinks are lined up in uniform in the fridge, protein bars are stacked in a specific cupboard drawer, and fresh fruit rests in baskets lining the bar, just like his old man had taught him all those years ago when he was preparing for his first rut.

This isn’t the first rut he will spend in the old, frequently used communal cabin; he’s well practised in preparing for the upcoming marathon he’s been eager and nervous to experience with you. This is the first rut he will spend with you, his Omega and your first time experiencing a rut-induced heat after all. He dare not admit his nerves bubble in the pit of his stomach and his inner Alpha is not pleased with his frayed nerves, although he’s sure that if you took a moment to really connect with your inner wolf she would tell you. 

This has to go perfectly, he can’t afford for the tether between you both to fatigue any more than it already has since your surprise guest has made himself at home on Steve’s lands. The tether that binds your souls together, like wedding bands, that has never seen full strength as you’ve battled to accept your new life. 

So instead, he puts on a brave face and goes about setting the cabin right, for when the time comes, neither of you will be in the right headspace to be searching for anything other than each other.

A flurry of excitement swells as he spies you fussing over the blankets and pillows on the bed. Steve has longed for this moment since he had claimed you as his own, sinking his teeth and cock into you after tearing your flimsy Little Red Riding Hood costume from your body. He can feel your apprehension and hunger duel, but he can sense your inner wolf gaining strength also. Giving in to your Omega side had been a silver lining to your wrought relationship in spite of your constant stubbornness and a certain nosey Alpha hanging around. 

Steve pushes the thought of Tony to the side, he must focus on the here and now, you are protected here. This is an important milestone in your relationship, as it is in any Alpha and Omega coupling. He is well aware that the likelihood of you falling pregnant is low. That is a bridge you are so reluctant to cross - he first needs to earn your trust…

“Bed is all made,” you huff, throwing yourself down onto the bar stool dramatically, exhausted from the hectic and strained morning.

Steve smirks, his inner Alpha now at ease with your Omega inner wolf as they curl up together. “And the kitchen is all set,” he says before going to the fridge to retrieve you a beer and sitting on the stool beside you. “To teamwork and a whole lot of good old-fashioned sex.”

You clink bottles before taking well-deserved greedy sips.

“So now what? We just wait for you to start rutting and get horny like a caveman and then it’s on like Donkey Kong? You’re not going to actually turn into Donkey Kong, are you? I’m really not into that.” Your Alpha just snorts and you roll your eyes playfully in response, enjoying this impish banter you both yearn to get to more. “I’m sorry I’m not an experienced rut whore like yourself, I need you to tell me what to expect, Master.”

“It will be no different to your heat, my sweet Little Wolf, except my rut should encourage your heat to start. There will be lots of hot, passionate sex and intense knotting.” He runs his hands softly over your hair, caressing your cheek as he draws a path down your skin. “And when we aren’t fucking each other stupid, we will sleep and hydrate to regain our energy. And then fuck again and again and again until my rut is fulfilled and you’re full to the brim with my come,” he purrs punctuating each “again”, popping the buttons open on your shirt. His thumb idles over the curve of your lips. “Once we’ve had our fill, the pack will hold a feast in our honour on these sacred grounds and we will celebrate strengthened bonds of Alpha and Omega just as others have before. It’s the way things are done in these parts.”

You hum and soften under his touch, your little wolf smugly sighing as you give into the sensation. “And tell me again why we couldn’t just do this in the comfort of our own house instead of some lumberjack sex dungeon in the middle of nowhere where you’ve screwed other women in?”

“Lumberjack sex dungeon?”

“You heard me,” you smirk cheekily before taking a generous drink from the bottle. 

Steve presses heated lips to yours, the taste of sweet IPA lingering on your lips, breathing in your sweet scent. “They say this cabin is protected by old magic. It will shield us and the pack whilst I’m indisposed fucking my glorious Omega and making her see stars. I also don’t think you’d appreciate us destroying the bedroom as is very likely to happen in the heat of the moment.” Heated eyes sparkle as he observes you closely. “This is an awful lot of fuss over a small change of scenery, Little Wolf. You’re not jealous of my past with Sharon are you?”

Learning about your Alpha’s previous rut trysts and being forced to spend your first time together in the same bed he has fucked the stupidly beautiful Omega blonde had not been easy. Yes, you are insanely jealous. Deep down you understand that she was nothing more than a means to an end; Alphas cannot spend their ruts without a partner, it’s dangerous and puts the pack in jeopardy. Yet, you are still a mostly human being with complicated feelings, and your skin heats at the thought of Steve fucking her on your bed. It ruffles your little wolf’s fur, too, finally something you both have in common. 

You scoff, carding your hands through his long locks and holding his gaze. You’re not going to give him the satisfaction of letting him know you’re a little bitter. “Sharon who? Don’t know her. But someone is feeling very confident in their performance. I’m going to be incredibly disappointed if you don’t meet my now very high expectations, Alpha.”

In an instant the tall blonde is towering over you, his tongue caressing your lips as he holds yours tightly against his hard body. “Have I ever disappointed you?”

Your body burns under his touch and gaze as he encourages you to turn and face him, stepping between your spread thighs. The air fizzles and comes alive around you as you rest your hand on his chest, any smart retort now incinerated in the swelling energy. His woody scent is electric and the beating of his heart echoes through your veins.

“It’s happening,” Steve hums seeing the confusion in your eyes as you examine his honey skin as the air glows lightly around you both. “The ancients are listening, my love. Our connection is building a tether between your heat and my rut hormones.” 

Closing your eyes, you can practically see the different elements of his spicy scent. Coffee beans, Tonka, sandalwood… You are overcome with the soft fur of his inner wolf against yours, your body alight with heat and pleasure. The man is barely touching you and you feel so close already. 

“You don’t really believe in this witchy culty old magic bullshit do you?” 

Your Alpha chuckles deeply, cupping your face tenderly and holding his lips a mere breath from yours. “I didn’t believe in it for the longest time but then you stepped onto this land and into my heart. I feel the energy in the earth shift and my inner wolf grows stronger with you. I have never felt more alive than when I am with you. Our pack has never been stronger.” Your heart warms and your inner wolf seeps deeper into your soul. “I don’t know if it is witchy culty old magic bullshit, but I know you were meant for me and I am meant for you.”

“Holy shit, you stupid sap.” The walls breaking down, you kiss him fiercely, taking the strong Alpha by surprise. 

Not one to give over control, Steve grips your ass and draws you up as though you are as light as a feather. Obediently, you wrap your legs around his muscular hips, allowing him to lead the kiss and carry you over to the kitchen table. 

You will never understand his fascination with destroying what little clothes you have, but he does, taking great delight in the sound of ripping fabric. If it were up to him, you’d always be naked. It takes the rugged man little effort for the oversized plaid shirt to fall to the floor, quickly followed by your leggings. Pity, you had been quite attached to the shirt.

Nonetheless, you are uncharacteristically pliable in his non-verbal demands, turning away from him and placing your hands on the hardwood of the table as directed. Your inner wolf purrs in response to your submissive display, in turn presenting herself to Steve’s own, the vision you have of her disappearing as you surrender to her. 

Ever since your small breakdown after visiting Dr Banner, the subsequent destruction of a month’s crop of watermelon, and your surrender to the soft ball of Omega wolf in the pit of your soul, you’ve been more amenable to the Alpha who had turned your world upside down all those months ago. Giving in to her had been a blessing in disguise.

With ease, Steve grips your leg and tugs your leg up onto the table and urging you to bend your knee and keep it there. Utterly exposed to him, you’re at his complete mercy as you hear him fumble impatiently with his jeans’ zipper, before shrugging them down to his ankles. All the while his free hand cups your bare breast, squeezing your tender flesh and pinching your sensitive nipples. 

Down the soft flesh of your inner thigh, the tell-tale trickle of slick arousal descends and your blood begins to boil. 

“Give in to the heat my little wolf,” Steve begs with heavy desperation, teasing his cock through your wet folds, whetting you, as he pulls your back to rest against his and draws you into the filthiest, tongue-driven kiss. “Let the heat consume you and let me take care of you.”

Your chest heaves with anticipation, a quivering mewl escaping your lips as the tip of his cock teases your slick entrance and heat begins to pulsate through your pores.

“Promise me you’ll be gentle with me,” you beseech him, giving him a small glimpse at the crack in your concrete-like facade. “Please.”

“Anything for you, my love,” he whispers tenderly, edging his cock through your folds and entering you, catching the starved squeal you emit with his plump lips, your walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. 

You feel so complete as he stills deep in your channel, the edge of his knot pulsating rapidly already against your flesh as he leads a heady kiss. It feels like coming home, wrapped safely in his arms like you finally belong… you feel complete. 

“I’m going to take the best care of my sweet Omega,” Steve purrs, his fingers descending over your curves and coming to a halt over your clit. “Give in and let me show you how good it feels to be mine.” You hum as his hand emanates heat against your skin, his other hand coming to gently wrap around your neck. “Use your words, sweetheart. Give yourself to me, tell me you trust me. I can’t unless I have your permission.”

The sensation of his thumb caressing the mating mark sends waves of pleasure and heat coursing through your veins. Warm slick comes fast as you feel your heat hormones intensify under his touch.

“Take me Alpha, I’m yours.”

He gently prompts you to lean forward, to lean your hands on the table, his lips hot on your already blazing skin as he links his fingers with you. “I love you,” he whispers against your ear, slowly pulling his hips back, his thick cock dragging along your walls in the most delicious and mind-fucking way. “Mine.”

It’s jarring, the rough way he grips the back of your neck as he purposefully fucks you with intention. Slow, methodical thrusts, ensuring you feel every single inch of his cock dragging against your slick walls. His thumb caresses the raised still tender scar, the mating mark he had forged on your skin claiming you for his own. His elevated heartbeat pulsates through his searing skin into you, delightfully discordant against yours. 

Your head is already swimming in a volatile swell of pleasure and engulfing heat hormones. Perhaps it’s the buzz, perhaps you’re imagining things as you drown in the fuzzy waves, but the air seems to come alive around you. 

The grain of the dark wood table becomes clearer before you, warming and vibrating under your hands.

The heady, earthy scent of the hand snaking around from your neck to your lips is electric, each note of coffee, sandalwood, and agarwood more precise, more defined as he encourages his finger into your mouth. 

Humming against the digit, you lick and suck greedily as he snaps his hips with the precision of a marksman. His skin slaps purposefully against your sensitive clit, already swelling and desperate as you cede to the boiling heat hormones. 

His grunts and snarls grow more savage with each advance of his hips, his knot inflating. 

“I need to see your face when you come, sweet wolf mine,” Steve growls with urgency, his hands quickly drawing you back. 

“I’m yours.”

It’s all a blur, the empty feeling of his cock pulling from you followed by needy, desperate whines as he turns you around, resting your ass on the edge of the table. You barely register the stretch of your muscles as he pulls them up against his chest, throwing them over his shoulder as his cock glides home once again. Resting back onto your hands, his hands are quick to draw your face into a heady kiss, steadying your shaken equilibrium. 

He’s so improbably deep, the tip of his cock jutting against your clandestine jewel and his knot teasing your folds as he wraps an arm around your back.

“You’re so close, sweet wolf.” He’s right, you’re teetering on the edge of the precipice, peering into the abyss of light and energy. “Come around my cock, my love, surrender to me.”

Amidst the overwhelming wash of heightened emotions and heat, you come to the realisation that you are the source of his rut. Consent - the imbroglio catalyst of your relationship. It’s the grey elephant in the room that is your bond you have both skirted around since your unsolicited introduction into your hidden past, true identity, and apparent love of your life. 

Now, the power lay in your hands.

Blistering light and explosive heat and emotions overflow, creating a deep connection between you both as you come, your walls shuddering around his thick cock. Your Alpha grips you tight, filling you with hot ropes of come, his knot taking with force as you lock eyes. 

Around you, the room quakes and bursts with energy, filtering through your veins and deep into the earth beneath the cabin.

It’s all a blur, the heat taking over you, the rut claiming Steve with all its might as the world around you shifts and is rocked to its core. All you can do is be overtaken, your walls shuddering as you finally and wholly surrender to the Omega within you, to the Alpha before you, and all that surrounds you.  

Unbeknownst to you, you are not the only ones to feel the earth move.

**************

He can’t be sure if it’s the sweet summery scent of orange flower and waterlily that draws him from his slumber or the earthquake-like rumble in the earth beneath him, but Tony knows at this moment he must listen to the call. Quick to rise, he doesn’t bother to dress and ventures out into the woods in naught but his underwear.

Somewhere deep in the heart of the peaks and valleys of this abundant and rich land, he finds the cabin; the sweet floral and citrus scent calling to him and leading him here. Nestled beside an expansive lake that shimmers under the bright light of the moon, the cabin stands; veins of flowing rivers and babbling creeks running from the fertile water and throughout the property. 

This is the omphalos of the pack. It feeds and nourishes everything this pack relies on to live. 

That is why this mating cabin was built here. 

But there’s something amiss to Tony. Something he has not felt before on these lands. 

There’s old magic about. 

For miles roots encircle the cabin, shielding mating couples as they endure rut-induced heats. The Parker/Stark pack have similar customs, though instead of magic, wolves stand guard. 

The air is alive with the protective aroma of mint, chilli, garlic, thyme, and rocket. He spies mason jars scattered along the ghostly wall of magic blocking his way. The tell-tale signs of piss-coloured liquid, rusting nails and a thick layer of dark red sludge sitting at the bottom of the jar remind Tony of the witch bottles his mother used to line their perimeter with, to ward off the evil spirits lurking in the shadows. 

But this is child’s play magic. 

No, deep within the soil and earth lies another type of magic. Ancient magic. It fizzles and vibrates from the down below, growing from the cabin. 

It’s the kind of old magic that spilt from the ground as it formed, embedding itself deep within its bed and atoms. The kind of old magic that normal folk have to make deals with, make sacrifices to appease the old spirits that call this land home. 

It’s the kind of old magic his mother had warned him to stay away from as a wee pup.

It stops him dead in his tracks before he can step within the ground-deep protected, sacred circle. This magic talks to the trees and the animals, warning them of their intruder - alerting them to be at the ready. He can feel the warning spreading through his veins like hot oil. 

This ancient land on which he stands is awakening like spring has been birthed from the dead ground of winter, brought on by this ancient magic. Something has awoken the old magic. The woods are alive around him; birds singing, wolves howling, and trees moaning as they soak up the nutrient soil pulsating with the energy that beats from the heated cabin. The vibrations travel far beyond him and the ground shifts as buds sprout from the earth. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” he mumbles, kneeling to the ground and running his hands over a bed of fresh daisy buds that had not been there before. 

Closing his eyes, he tunes in to the fine frequencies surrounding him, imagining the warmly lit cabin protected by old magic and earthy herbs. A smirk forms on his lips as he feels the aged wood under his fingertips.

So the old magic isn’t all that strong after all. 

He’s not really standing beside the cabin, not in body anyways, but he can see, touch, and smell everything there. Every element is more alive around the exterior of the cabin. He can taste the sweet lemon on his lips, his mouth salivates at the warm scent of coffee emanating from the husky Alpha inside. Sandalwood and apple dance along his tongue as he drowns in the heavy scent of vanilla and Tonka beans.

Your breathy mewls caress his skin as he draws closer to the bedroom window. And his blood boils as he dares to peek inside, his fists clenching as he spies your slick-stained thighs shaking around your Alpha’s waist, breasts bucking tantalisingly. Steve snaps his hips as he fucks you deeply, your ass bouncing against his thighs as he encourages you to ride him. 

The energy is electric and Tony is cemented to the earthy ground beneath him as he watches you both, the air dancing with fireflies all around him. Even as you kiss, all teeth and clashing tongues, your voice is like a lullaby to your captive audience. He can feel your tongue against his as you give in to your Alpha’s demanding kiss. He can sense your breath against his lips as you mewl and cry against Steve. 

It’s clear as a bright summer’s day that you’ve been fucking for hours now, the sheets ripped to shreds and your skin glistening with sweat, the exhaustion clear in your tired but hungry whimpers. 

The blonde Alpha cards his fingers through your hair and draws you back, before baring his teeth into the soft tissue of your mating mark. Tony growls low, his toes curling into the soft earth as you clench and come around his nemesis’ cock. His inner-Alpha, all black and rage, snarls and snaps as Steve’s knot claims you, filling you deep with hot seed. 

You are his. You belong to him, not the dumb blonde who wears the fake crown of Alpha. It should be his mating mark you bear on your neck, not Steve’s. 

In the mix of choler and malice, the dark Alpha is ripped from the cabin, returning to his body. His eyes open to the sight of the little daisy buds, dead at his heels. Curiously, still seeping with birse, he collects the wilting and dark buds, crushing them in his hand. 

So the prophecy is true. 

Now his work truly begins.

He brushes his fingers through his hair as he blows out in exasperation, his other hand on the counter. The house is quiet, empty. It’s just you and him. Jacob’s at a friend’s for the night and Laurie won’t be back until the morning.

“It’s my job, Mr. Barber,” you say as you shut the cupboard and hang the dish cloth, “nothing to it.”

“You don’t understand, this week, with the deposition and Laurie out of town, I don’t think I could’ve done it,” he drops his shoulders, hands on his hips in that way he pushes his jacket back, thumbs stretched along his leather belt.

“You do the heavy lifting,” you wave him off, “think I’m about done for the day.”

“You sure?”

“Well, I don’t really have anything else to do. I just forgot to clean up before I rushed out with Jacob.”

“Mm,” he nods and drops a hand into his pocket, “sorry, I… my head just starts going. As busy as it’s been, it’s been… lonely.”

“Funny how that happens,” you smile, “I guess I don’t have to rush out.”

“Dinner?” he asks, “my treat. We’ll order in from Gino’s.”

“Sure, uh… I’ll just make a call.”

He nods and grins, “I’ll order.”

He’s excited. You text Dawson that you might be late for your Zoom date that night. You don’t even know if it will matter, he forgot about it last week. You hit send and wait. A couple minutes and no answer. Well, you’ll see what happens.

🍼

You didn’t expect the wine. It’s a bit much and you find yourself a bit woozy as you look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Fuck, you’ll have to cab home. You rub your forehead and stand straight, exhaling as you try to breathe out the inebriation.

You’re about as sober as you will be. You step into the hall. The table’s been tidied but Andy’s not where you left him. You put your hand on the wall. It was a big mistake to say yes to the wine.

You wobble out to the living room. Andy’s at the mantle, his hand resting just in front of one of the framed pictures of the Barbers. He’s a good man, you think. You hope to find one someday but you’re starting to think Dawson isn’t that.

“Whew, well, I think I should get going,” you babble, trying not to slur.

“Oh? You okay?”

“Fine, I just…” you giggle, “I don’t drink much, you know?”

“Sure,” he faces you and tucks his hands in his pockets, “you can have the couch or the guest bed. Sleep it off.”

“I can’t. You’ve already done enough–”

“Got it, old man is no fun. You’re living for the weekend.”

“That’s not it,” you look away, “it’s just…” you shrug and sway, “awkward?”

“You think?” he sounds disappointed.

“I mean, not saying it in a bad way but–” you hiccup and cover your mouth. He smiles. “What?”

“Nothing,” he pulls his hands out of his pocket, “just… cute.”

“Mr. Barber,” you smack his arm playfully, “you’re married.”

“And you have a boyfriend. I know,” he says, almost bitter, “how is he?”

“He’s… enjoying college.”

“Without you.”

“You know how it is, Laurie’s gone but you still love her.”

“Love? You love him?” his face falls. You don’t expect that.

“Y-yeah, I– I should go–”

“Wait,” he grabs your wrist before you can back away, “please, just hear me out.”

“Mr. Barber, I’m drunk and I’m starting not to feel too good, we can talk Monday.” Panic swells in your throat.

“No, not Monday. She’ll be back. I have to say it now.”

“Please–” you twist your arm in his grasp.

“I love you. Listen to me, okay? I’m not crazy,” he says, “I love everything about you.”

“You don’t,” you hit his chest and he latches onto your other wrist, “please, let me go.”

“Not until you hear me, okay?” I love you so much it hurts and I know it’s wrong. I know… it’s fucked up but I can’t think of anything, anyone else. I lay beside my wife and all I see is you, what I really want and I can’t help but dream of what life could be. Together.”

“Mr. Barber, I’m scared,” you yank on your arms and he squeezes, hard enough that your bones feel ready to crack.

“Scared? Of me? No, no, you have to understand. I want everything with you. I want to take care of you. I want to make you happy. To be the man that boy can never be. I want you to be my wife and the mother of my children.”

“Mr. Barber,” you yelp, “please, I’m twenty years old. I have a boyfriend, I– I’m your nanny.”

“You’re perfect. Please, please,” he lets go of you, falling to his knees and wrapping his arms around you before you can escape. He puts his head against your stomach as he clings to you, “I will do anything to have you. I don’t want Laurie.”

“Stop, please–”

“She can’t give me what I want,” he turns his head and presses his lips to your stomach, “you can. We could have a family, a big one. Me, you, Jacob…”

“Mr. Barber,” you push on his shoulders, “let me go.”

"He's good to you because he wants something from you," she insisted.  "He says he loves you because—"

"He doesn't just say he loves me," you interrupted.  "He really does, Mama."

"Oh, does he?" she sneered, stepping up closer to you.  "He doesn't only love you with words, does he?  What else does he do?"

Her line of questioning made it obvious that she already knew.  The terror of that realization made your eyes sting with tears.

"Don't tell me you spread your legs for trailer trash," your mother warned, and your fists clenched at your sides.  Rage gave you the courage to look into her eyes and you found her own fury there— but it couldn't beat yours, not when you had your love for Eddie in your heart, telling you what to do.

"He made love to me," you informed her though your teeth, "and I—"

You didn't get a chance to finish your thought before the back of your mother's hand collided with your cheek, spinning your whole head to the side.  It stung especially hard where her massive diamond ring had cut your face, and when you pulled your hand away from where it held your tingling skin, you saw little dots of blood on your fingers.

You started to sob loudly, so much louder than you already had.  You were crying so hard you couldn't even form words.

"Okay, that's enough," your father decides, getting up from where he'd been sitting in his chair, staring disapprovingly at all that had been going on.  When you told your parents that Eddie Munson was your boyfriend and that you would not be attending equestrian summer camp in Cape Cod this year because you wanted to stay with him, your mother was the one who had flown into hysterics while your father had just sighed and sat down, looking overwhelmed.  You didn't see him looking like that too often, since he was such a respected businessman who handles so much every day, but it made sense that he was out of his element here.

"Daddy," you sobbed, running to him and colliding with his sweater-vest-clad torso, "Daddy, please, I love him…"

"I… I know, sweetpea," he sighed, "but… sometimes what we feel and what is expected of us don't….match up."

You buried your face into his chest, soaking the argyle cotton with your tears.  "Daddy, he's not a bad person.  He's so kind and he takes care of me—"

You heard your mother scoff, but thankfully she didn't interrupt you.

"You'd like him if you met him," you promised, pulling back enough to look at your father with hopeful, if teary and bloodshot, eyes.  "Daddy, if you really gave him a chance—"

"Sweetpea," he said, such an adoring pet name losing its charm when he said it so sternly, "it's too late for that.  You had sex with this boy, didn't you?"

You choked, looking away.

"Just don't make me go to camp this year, please," you sighed.  "Please, Daddy, I wanna stay in Hawkins—"

"So you can do what?  Spend more time with this boy who doesn't even have the respect to come speak to me himself and ask me for permission to court you?" he frowned.  "Ride around in his decrepit van?  Get pregnant?"

You let go of the tight hug you'd had him in; you'd spent your life crying to your Daddy about whatever upset you, and up until now, you'd pretty much always gotten your way.  Eddie used to make fun of you, call you Daddy's little girl, call you spoiled rotten— but you never really understood what that meant, until now.  Until you felt so stupid as you realized he wasn't as kind as you thought he was.  He'd buy you anything, he'd let you skip a Latin lesson because you wanted to run around outside or not eat your greens because you didn't like them, but that wasn't love.  You always thought he was proud of you, and that was why he liked to show you off at debutante balls and dinner parties.

But it had never been about you… it had been about him, and his perfect family.  His beautiful wife and demure, well-behaved daughter.  You were more like a porcelain doll to him, dressed up in little silk outfits and put behind glass.

You stepped back, bewildered and heartbroken by the way he was looking at you.

"You asked not to go to Cape Cod this summer?  You won't," he informed you, but his tone made it obvious this was not going to be good news.  "You'll go to a Catholic program for wayward girls—"

"No," you blurted out, under your breath.

"In rural France—" he continued.

You couldn't breathe, you felt like you were going to faint.  "No, no no no…"

"—where you can practice your French, relearn your morals," he added, especially pointedly, "and spend time with the nuns.  They'll set you straight."

"Daddy, no!" you yelped.  "I won't go!  You can't make me go!"

"I absolutely can!" he bellowed in return.  Daddy was scary when he was angry, his voice was loud and echoed around any room, and you'd always run away and hid when you heard him yelling at a business partner who made a mistake or a housekeeper who broke something… but the way he spoke next was nothing like that.  No yelling, no stomping his foot or pointing his finger, just a red face and breathing heavily through his flared nostrils.  It was much scarier.

"If you act like a whore, you get treated like one," he informed you with searing coldness.  "You remember that when you're with that boy, telling him that you will never see him again—"

"I hate you!" you choked out with your sob, shoving your father away before running for the door.

You heard your parents calling after you, but you tumbled out onto the porch and down the steps, grabbing your bike where you'd left it leaning against the whitewashed wood.

It was sort of tricky to ride a bike while constantly wiping tears away, but you made it all the way to Eddie's trailer without falling off.  You nearly jumped off your bike to run to his door, never properly braking and just letting it fall on its side— the little bell dinged quietly when you dropped it, like a weak protest to the mistreatment, but you ignored it as you stumbled up to Eddie's door and knocked frantically.  

It was a little too cold out for just your yellow dress and a cardigan, but you hadn't been planning to be out this late.  You'd been planning on getting out of going to summer camp in Massachusetts, going to bed with a smile on your face, and waiting until after school tomorrow to tell Eddie the good news.  God, you were so stupid…

Shivering and clutching your arms across your chest, you knocked rapidly on the door again— and Eddie finally swung the door open.

"I was just— oh, princess, what's wrong?" he asked, reaching for you instantly as you started to cry harder again.  "Are you okay?  Please tell me everything's okay…"

"Everything's…" you started, sniffling and trying to compose yourself enough to speak intelligibly while he ushered you inside, "everything's gone wrong, Eddie, it's so wrong…"

"Hey, shh," he soothed, pulling you into him and guiding your head to rest on his chest.  His hands rubbed your back and you sighed, melting into him.  "Just tell me what happened."

"I-it was going to be a surprise," you explained.  "I was going to get out of equestrian camp this summer, and I was going to stay here— with you!  We were gonna have the whole summer together… a-and it was gonna be perfect." 

Eddie sighed; he must've realized where this was going, to a certain extent.

"But when I asked my parents if I could miss camp and stay home, they… Mama knew, she asked about you right away… I'm not much of a liar, Eddie, you know that."

In fact, he told you all the time.  I know something's wrong, don't try to pretend.  You're not a very good liar, princess, I know you want me.  Don't lie, princess, I can tell you're getting wet…

"She said the most awful things," you whimpered, "and Daddy… he said he was going to make me go to France, just to keep me away from you.  H-he called me a whore."

"He what?!" Eddie snapped, lifting your head away from his chest to look down at your face with wild eyes.  "Princess, how could he say that to you?"

"I— I don't—"

You stopped when he reached up, holding your face and carefully swiping his thumb over your right cheek.  You remembered there were cuts there, and you glanced down at the floor sheepishly, focusing on his dirty combat boots standing on either side of your shiny white Mary Janes.  "Did he hit you?" Eddie asked, seriously and softly.

"No…" you whimpered, getting nervous to tell him the truth as he waited silently for the rest of your answer.  "Mama did."

He sighed slowly, saying so much with just one breath.  You'd realized you'd never really seen him angry before, not genuinely.  But the weight of his breath showed how furious he was.  "Those people…" he trailed off.  Shaking his head, the anger seemed to fade and he gave you a gentle kiss right on your wounded cheek.  "This pretty face, all cut up… it's just not right, princess."

You shut your eyes as he kissed your lips next, as tender and gentle as ever.  If only your parents could see this, if only they could understand how sweet and patient he was with you, then maybe they wouldn't be trying to ruin your life.

"I can't let you go back to that house," he informed you.  "If you go back there, they may not ever let you back out again— they won't let us see each other again."

You blinked up at him as he carefully wiped your tears away.  

"So, don't go back," he pleaded.  "They'll hurt you again— I can't let that happen."

You chewed your lip for a second.  "Eddie, I can't stay here, they're going to send the police for me— they probably already have…"

"Then they won't find us here," he decided.  "We'll go somewhere!"

"Where?"

"Anywhere!  Wherever you wanna go.  We'll drive there together and it'll be the way it's meant to be— us, just us."

He pulled your face closer and kissed your forehead, squishing your cheeks in his ringed hands.  "Eddie," you mumbled, wincing playfully.  "Are you offering to kidnap me?"

"Offering?  Princess, I'm deciding," he grinned, grabbing you at your shoulders as you started to laugh a bit through your tears.  "Just tell me where we're going."

You bit your lip as you thought about that.  In a way, you were proving your parents right: this boy was about to steal you away, take you far from Hawkins in his beat-up old van, with no money and no plan.  

"Come on," he encouraged, "you know just as well as I do that we're meant to be together.  Forever."

It was a promise you'd made, just before he took your virginity.  You were raised to believe that was something you saved for your soulmate, and though you knew it was certainly not what your parents would want for you, not being married yet didn't bother you much.  Before Eddie, waiting never felt like a chore— and then suddenly it was excruciating, and he'd stopped you from taking things further more than a few times due to his fear that you would regret him being your first time.  And then there was that perfect night, just over a week ago now, on a blanket by Lover's Lake.  It was everything you thought it was supposed to be— sweet, sensual, beautiful— and so much more.  And you'd sworn then that this was it, that there was nobody else for you and that you'd hold each other for the rest of your lives.  Maybe it was your girlish naivete, but in your mind it was all but an engagement.

And this?  Escaping together, fleeing your parents and Hawkins and everything you'd ever known?  This felt like eloping.

You looked into Eddie's eyes, warm and brown and waiting for your answer with that sparkle in them like almost always.  "Um…" you stalled, "well, when I was little, my whole family went to the beach in California.  I've wanted to go back, see the ocean again…"

He grabbed you by your face again and kissed you, eyes shut tight; you could taste his latest cigarette and you could smell his aftershave, you could feel his optimism in the way he moved his lips against yours.

When he pulled back, he had another massive smile on his face that made the anxiety just melt away in a moment.  

"Everything's gonna be alright now," he promised.  "It's gonna be how it's supposed to be: us, together, with nobody there to stop us."

You nodded, still sniffling as you recovered from crying, and smiled as he kissed your tears away.

"I-I'm just gonna grab some stuff," he decided, "and we're gonna leave tonight.  We'll be in California by Saturday."

~ ♡ ~

Not having had a chance to pack your own clothes, you'd been borrowing Eddie's for a while.  You didn't exactly feel like yourself in a Motörhead shirt, but you loved being wrapped up in the smell of him.

That first night, Eddie had driven for fifteen hours straight before you insisted that he get some rest.  The mattress in the back was straight from his bedroom in the trailer, so it brought some much-needed familiarness to such a foreign situation.  

Breakfast at hole-in-the-wall diners all along the highway, stops at scenic outlooks and parks where you could stretch your legs, nights spent pulled over in the woods so you could sleep in peace (or, maybe, not sleep at all)… it was all a routine now, and the luxury of your old life was just a collection of memories now.

At times, you missed your family, your friends from school, your room and your shower and your favorite stuffed animal.  But being with Eddie all the time was worth it, and you’d seen more of the country than ever on your road trip adventure.

“Can I help you find something, sweetheart?” a woman asked, and you turned to see an employee with a plastic name tag— DARLA, it read— watching you peruse the aisle of pre-packaged snacks.

“O-oh, no, thank you,” you smiled.

“You seem pretty young to be here by yourself,” she noticed.

“I’m eighteen— and I’m not by myself,” you assured, “my boyfriend’s here— he’s just using the restroom.”

“Oh, I see,” she nodded.  “Your… parents know you’re here, don’t they?”

You wrinkled your eyebrows together.  “Of course,” you lied, “we’re driving to visit them now, while we’re on break from college.  Wh-why do you ask?”

“I’m sorry to pry, honey,” she sighed, “I just saw something on the news, and you look a little bit like this missing girl out of Indiana—”

You didn’t even hear what she said after that, you didn’t even stay to listen— you stormed across the gas station store, towards where a small TV mounted under the corner of the ceiling was showing the morning news.  It was just politics at first, until the banner across the bottom of the screen changed to DRUG DEALER KIDNAPS INDIANA GIRL.  You nearly screamed when you saw a picture of you, and a picture of Eddie, next to each other in the superimposed graphic.

“This news coming out of Hawkins, Indiana,” the reporter read, “the parents of an eighteen-year-old girl—”

Eighteen, as in, an adult, who left consensually, you wished you could yell at the TV, but all you could do was start to numbly cry.

“— are asking national authorities for assistance in locating their daughter, who disappeared from their home Wednesday evening.  Local police suspect that a known criminal in the area, Eddie Munson— who is also missing— may be responsible and is wanted for his potential involvement.”

You saw the door to the men’s room start to open, and before Eddie could walk out, you dashed over to him and shoved him back in, locking the door behind you.  “Hey!” Eddie protested, though he gave you a tilted grin as you pinned him to the wall.  “Hey,” he purred, apparently misinterpreting your intentions with locking yourselves in the bathroom together.

“Eddie, oh god,” you breathed, “I—”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, reaching down to hold your face.  “Did something happen?”

“I— the news,” you managed to choke out, “we’re on the news, they’re saying you kidnapped me—”

“Well, I mean,” he shrugged, “I sorta did—”

“Eddie, please,” you whimpered, “this— this is really bad… the police are looking for us.  Both of us.”

You weren’t sure how this happened, but you could guess; the Hawkins police probably, rightfully, told your parents that a woman of majority leaving her parents’ home is not a crime, and neither is having a boyfriend that they dislike.  And then your parents flashed their money around until someone listened, and they managed to convince some sheriff that because Eddie had a past with the law, you were in some kind of danger.  And then they took their money to any news station that would take it, and spread the story across the country.  You were supposed to make it to the beach today, but you weren’t sure if it was safe to go anymore, or where this news was being shown…

“I don’t wanna go back,” you cried quietly, and he clicked his tongue sympathetically as he pulled your head into his chest.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he promised, “you’re not going back.”

“They’re gonna find us, Eddie, they’re gonna take me away from you—” you began to rush, your head swirling with thoughts and your heart pounding with anxiety.  He grabbed you by the chin and forced you to look up at him, and you tried to calm yourself a little with your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Nobody can take you away from me,” he insisted sternly.  “Ever.  Do you hear me?”

You nodded, and he softened a bit, kissing your forehead as he wrapped his arms around you.

“We’re gonna work this out,” he stated confidently.  “We’re gonna figure something out, okay?  And everything’s gonna be how it’s supposed to be.”

Quickly, he had a plan, and he told you all you had to do was keep watch.  He told you to stand near the back of the gas station, and stop anyone from coming to where he’d parked the van.  He never told you why, but you figured it would make sense soon.  Nervously tapping your foot, you tried not to look suspicious— or noticeable at all, really, with your face all over the news now— and waited for Eddie to finish whatever he was doing.

You could hear what he was doing, but you couldn’t quite tell what it was… just random clinking and banging of metal, not much to work with.  “Okay, finished,” he announced, and you turned the corner to find him smiling as he stared at the back of his van, a screwdriver tucked under his crossed arms.  “Voila!”

Stepping next to him and looking at the back bumper with him, you reacted instantly to the sight of a Nevada license plate.  “Wh— how did you—?” you began, but you glanced over to a beat-up old truck with a missing tire that was apparently abandoned behind this gas station— specifically, you saw that it suddenly had Indiana plates.

“It’ll slow them down,” he promised, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and giving the top of your head a kiss.  “Told you I’d work it all out, didn’t I?”

You swallowed, a little nervous to know he’d had to take these measures for your sake.  Up until now, you hadn’t actually done anything wrong… this, though, was an actual crime.  Still, a lot of people do little things like this— like dealing weed, like making an illegal U-turn or being late to get their registration done.

That was what you kept telling yourself as you sat in the passenger set, legs curled up to your chest while you bit your nails and blankly watched the Nevada desert roll by: that this was normal.  That this was all fine.  Not great, maybe, not ideal; but fine.

“Hey,” you heard Eddie’s voice, and it tore you out of your thoughts.

“Huh?” you mumbled, and he kept his eyes on the road as he swatted your hand away from your mouth.

“Don’t do that,” he corrected.

“Sorry— m’just nervous,” you admitted.

“What for?” he wondered.

“I mean— this is all pretty crazy, Ed,” you admitted.  “I knew my parents weren’t going to understand, but getting the police involved?  I just didn’t think it would be like this…”

“Listen, princess,” he sighed, “I get it.  It’s scary— and your parents, they’ve been, like, over you your whole life, telling you what to say and how to dress and how to conform and everything… so they seem like this huge threat, like you can never really escape them, right?  But you can.  You did.”

He gave you a glance, as long as he could while driving on the highway, and you offered him your best I’m-totally-not-freaking-out smile in return.  

“And the cops?  Cops are no big deal,” he scoffed.  “Deal with ‘em all the time.  Still, if you wanna throw them off a little more, I could always do something to, you know, look different—”

He reached up with one hand to tousle his mane of wavy hair for a second, and you gasped.  “No, Eddie,” you interrupted, “not your hair— you shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Okay, okay,” he smiled, “you’d miss it too much, I know.  So would I.  Maybe we should cut your hair, though…”

You nervously reached up to your own hair, suddenly self-conscious about it in more ways than one.  “You think so?” you pressed quietly.

“I mean, if you’re up for it,” he shrugged, “but like I said— we’re gonna be fine.  It’s really not that bad, princess— people go ‘missing’ all the time, and they’re really just going somewhere new like we are.  And speaking of somewhere new…”

He pointed to the road ahead, and you saw the sign: Thanks for visiting Nevada— and then you saw the next one— Welcome to California.

“We made it,” he smiled.  “Just a few more hours until we reach the ocean.”

But the sun had already set, and the last tints of orange were leaving the sky— the desert would be in total darkness in less than ten minutes.  “Should we pull over for the night soon?” you asked.  Something about being late made you especially nervous, even though if you were thinking more clearly, you might’ve realized that night was the safer time to travel while on the run from the law.

“If you want to,” he offered.  “You wanna cuddle, don’t you?”

You nodded, and he smiled wide.

“Of course you do,” he hummed, “just lemme find a good place to park the car and we can go to bed, okay?”

When he pulled off the highway, kicking up clouds of red dirt with his tires on his way to a good, shady spot to rest for the night, you leaned back in the seat and shut your eyes.  It’s going to be okay— Eddie said so, it’s really going to be alright…

“Come on, hop on back,” he suggested as he put the car in park and turned off the engine and headlights.  You climbed over the console first, plopping down onto the mattress in the back with a sigh.  He smiled at you as he followed you, climbing on top of you as his necklace dangled over your face.  With his hands on either side of your head, he bent down to kiss you, sweet and familiar; it made you feel better, and took your mind off of your worries.

You reached up to start trying to push his denim jacket off his shoulders, and he moved his kisses down to your neck.  “Oh!” you gasped when he grazed his teeth over your pulse.  It almost hurt, it was almost too much— but then again, you were wrapping your legs around his hips, so it must not have bothered you that much.

A quiet, but deep, chuckle from him echoed inside the crook of your neck, just before he pulled away to look down at you again.  “You look so good in my clothes,” he smiled, reaching up under the borrowed shirt to touch your waist, “but you look better without them.”

You giggled as he helped you take the shirt off, groaning a little at the sight of your bare chest underneath.  He instantly latched onto one of your nipples, swirling his tongue around it as his hands held onto you a little tighter, and you relaxed into his embrace with a sigh.  

“Princess,” he mumbled against your skin, reaching lower to start tugging your panties down, “fuck, you’re beautiful.  And you’re all mine, huh?” 

“Yeah,” you breathed.  “Yours— forever.”

You’d started saying that, since the first night on the road; you were just so ecstatic to be together, not having to hide it anymore or worry about your parents or sneak out quietly in the middle of the night.  The problem was, that was sort of what this thing had become, in the end: hiding, worrying, sneaking in the middle of the night.  Wasn’t that what you were doing right now?

That thought fell to the back of your mind as he gently opened your legs, taking off his own clothes hastily before slotting his body right up to yours.  “Eddie,” you moaned as he slid his cock over you, soaking his erection quickly in your arousal.  You never kept your resolve for long when he teased you like that.  “Please, I-I need you…”

“Where?” he asked.  “Where do you need me, princess?”

“M-my… in my—” you choked, struggling to say the word.  You managed to get it out (he’d been helping you get more comfortable with all this, slowly), but only when you whispered it: “my pussy…”

He laughed a little, and it made you feel even more insecure until he pushed his cock inside you— and then you weren’t thinking about anything else but how incredible it felt.  “Aw, so innocent,” he cooed, staring down at you with half-lidded eyes as he began to move his hips back and forth.  “Not as innocent as you used to be… guess I ruined you, didn’t I?”

You whined.  “N-no, you didn’t— you made me perfect, Eddie…”

Laying down over you, he kept himself propped up on one bent arm as the other reached for your thigh, squeezing the delicate skin every time he filled you to the brim.  “Fuck, you are perfect,” he agreed, “and so tight for me, always… still feel like a virgin, princess.”

You moaned far louder than you meant to when he started to suck on your neck, reaching up to grab onto the backs of his shoulders as your back arched harder.

“Y’don’t act like one anymore, though,” he added with a short laugh.  

Grabbing your hips, he pulled you up to meet his own, forcing you to take him deeper than before— and you choked on your whine, digging your nails into his back. 

“Not too much, is it?” he panted.  “You can take all of me, right?”

Admittedly, you hesitated, but you did nod and he kissed your cheek.

“I know you can,” he agreed.  “Such a good girl for me, yeah?  Gonna take all this dick in your little cunt?”

The next thrust hit so deep, and so hard, that tears immediately sprung to your eyes— but you nodded again.

“C’mon, baby, say it,” he encouraged.

“I— I’m gonna take it all,” you promised, your own voice higher and more wavering than you expected it to sound.

“Yeah you are,” he grunted, fucking you faster, and you buried your face in the space between his neck and shoulder— you gasped in breaths against his skin, and he held you a little tighter.

His pace was speeding up, making your whole body rock as it was forced to go limp.  “E-Eddie,” you sobbed.  He started to kiss just under your jaw, and you knew that he knew how close you were— and yet, you still felt the need to announce it.  “I’m gonna come, Eddie!”

“Shh, I know,” he soothed, “let it happen, princess— just come on my cock, fuckin’ soak me.”

Whimpering, your thighs started to shake and your head fell back.  It gave him the perfect view of your face: he watched you with dark eyes and a mouth gone slack as he fucked you through your orgasm.  He told you before that you scrunched your whole face up right before you came, and that he thought it was adorable.  You were still a bit shy about it, but you did like knowing that he loved the way you reacted to how he made you feel.

“That’s it, fuck,” he praised, and you felt his fingertips dig into your skin a little harder.  He slipped one arm under your neck, grabbing you at your shoulder, and used it to keep you steady as he started fucking you even harder, and faster… just ruthlessly, really.

“Eddie!” you shouted.  You were trying to get him to slow down, but the words just wouldn’t come out, it was all screaming moans as he relentlessly slammed into your spot— more sensitive and swollen than ever, having just come and all.

Hoping to get your message across non-verbally, you reached down and tried to push on his thighs, but he was so much stronger than you and it didn’t seem to deter him at all.  “You can take it,” he insisted under his breath, his own groans getting louder as he chased his release.

You dug your nails into his skin, not even really intentionally— you just needed a break, just a moment to process everything.  Your eyes were shut tightly, but you heard him growl as his hands moved down to yours.  He grabbed you by the wrists and pinned them down on either side of your head, rubbing his thumbs over your palms soothingly.  

“Don’t fight it,” he ordered, “I know what you need.”

And god, he was right— he changed his pace, slower if not quite slow, passionate and focused.  You breathed more naturally then, giving into the onslaught of sensation while he kissed you again.  His kiss was just as gently dominant as everything else, his tongue exploring deep into your mouth— like he was trying to taste every sound of pleasure you made.  You were babbling your affections from the moment that he broke away from your lips.  "I love you, Eddie," you sobbed softly, "I love you so much…"

"Shh, I know, princess," he whispered back, "I love you, too."

He didn’t take much longer to come, filling you with a long, low groan and a whisper of your name.  He released your wrists eventually, opting to hold you tightly instead.  In a moment he seemed to gain all his energy back, rapidly shifting from panting and exhausted to peppering kisses all over your face.  “Eddieeeee,” you whined, but you were laughing, too.

“Love you so much,” he mumbled.  “God, you can’t even imagine how much.”

“I bet I can,” you replied.  “I bet it’s how much I love you.”

“No, no— more than that,” he decided.

“What?!  Eddie, don’t say that,” you frowned.

“It’s true,” he insisted.  “I love you so much that this pretty little head of yours would explode if you knew—” he accented his statement by holding his fingers up to the side of your head and spreading them, making a pshh sound through his teeth to do his impression of an explosion. 

You laughed and shoved him lightly on his bare chest.  “You’re silly,” you mumbled, laughing more as he nuzzled his face against you, tickling you with the tip of his nose and his fluffy hair.

That was the way you fell asleep, tangled in his arms.  You never slept as well as you did when he was holding you, even on a ratty old mattress in a beat-up van in the abandoned desert, even separated from your loved ones and so painfully far from home.

~ ♡ ~

The knocking didn’t wake you up— only Eddie grabbing you and shaking you awake, whispering to you in a rushed voice, made you begin to stir.  “Princess,” he snapped, and you awakened as quickly as you could.  It was still pitch dark outside… except for the flashlight shining into the driver’s side window.

“E-Eddie, what’s going—?” you started to ask, but he pressed a finger over your lips before pulling the blanket up to your neck.

“There’s a state trooper outside,” he informed you, just as there was another knock on the window, and your eyes went wide but you remembered not to say anything.

“Stay in the van,” Eddie hissed.  “Don’t move or say anything until I come back, you hear me?  Stay in the van.”

You nodded quickly, blinking away the watering of your eyes.  He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before he tossed the blanket over your face and hopped back up into the driver’s seat.

Another knock on the window made you startle with a jolt under the blanket, but you did your best to stay perfectly still and completely silent.  “I’m sorry, sir— is this a no-parking zone?” Eddie asked as soon as he’d started rolling the window down.

“That’s not the issue— I was just noticing that your van matches the description of a suspected kidnapping out of Indiana,” the officer explained.

“Oh!  Huh, that’s… actually not that unlikely, is it?  A lot of cheap old vans out there on the road,” Eddie pointed out.

“Yes, but yours has a hole in the bumper, in the same place the one we’re looking for does,” the officer replied.

You struggled to keep your crying silent; was Eddie going to be arrested because of you?  This was all your fault, you knew it—

“You don’t know anything about a missing girl, do you?” the trooper pressed.  “Eighteen years old, about yea high—” you stopped paying attention as he continued rattling off a few basics of your description.  They’d been right on your tail the whole time, hadn’t they?

“No, can’t say that I do,” Eddie answered.

“Well, then it shouldn’t be much trouble if I search the back of your van, right?” 

You shuddered, biting down on the blanket over your head and praying that Eddie would find some way out of this.  “Honestly, officer, it’s a bit inconvenient— I was just sleeping here and now I’m being asked about some girl, but I don’t know anything about that.  I’ve been living out of this van for weeks, so it’s like you’re asking to search my home.  And I really would just prefer to get back to sleep, honestly, I’ve got a lot of driving ahead of me tomorrow—”

“It won’t take long,” the officer insisted.

“That’s not my concern,” Eddie replied firmly.  “You don’t have a warrant and I’d just prefer that you leave.”

“Your lack of cooperation could be considered probable cause,” the officer shot back.

“Only if you don’t care much for the constitution,” Eddie spat.

“And if I call the station and have them run your plates,” the trooper countered, “they’re going to come back to this vehicle, correct?  Not to say, a 1967 Ford that reported its plates stolen this morning?”

There was a silence.  A long, terrifying silence.  Eddie said nothing.  You weren’t even breathing.  The trooper was the one that spoke next.

“Sir, I’m gonna need you to step out of the vehicle.” 

You heard the door open, and shut.  Steps around the vehicle outside, some talking you couldn’t make out.  Knowing you were alone in the van, you let yourself start to quietly weep.  It’s over, it’s all over—

The unmistakable, deafening sound of a gunshot outside made you scream in shock.  “Eddie!” you shrieked, jumping up and using the blanket to cover your nudity as you hastily swung open the van doors from the inside.

You weren’t ready to see it, to see your boyfriend bleeding on the road, to see that cop point the gun at you next— you weren’t ready to imagine how your life would go on without him.

So, maybe it was a good thing that that wasn’t what you saw.  But what you were looking at instead terrified you possibly even more.  Eddie was standing there, holding a revolver, still as a statue as he looked at the officer on the ground beneath him.  The man on the ground was still alive— breathing shakily, wide-eyed and shivering violently as his hands moved towards the growing patch of deep-red blood on his chest, but still alive.  The click of the revolver turning made you look at the gun again, seeing Eddie aim it once more and begin to press down on the trigger.

It was like a horrible nightmare, the way you opened your mouth to scream, but nothing came out.  The second gunshot was so loud, it forced you to wince— which spared you from seeing the exact moment that hole appeared in the trooper’s forehead, the moment his expression went blank and his whole body went limp.

When you opened your eyes again, Eddie was looking back at you over his shoulder.  “I told you to stay in the van,” he reminded you flatly.

“E-Eddie,” you breathed, feeling light-headed and sick all of a sudden.  “Eddie, what… what have you done?”

He turned to face you, stepping over the body and slipping the revolver back under his belt; you instinctively moved back when he took a step towards you, and his expression changed.  “Princess…” he sighed, sounding heartbroken— like he couldn’t believe you were scared of him, but how could you not be?  You didn’t even know he had a gun in the van— you didn’t know he could ever hurt someone.

You swallowed thickly.  “Eddie,” you whispered, one more time.  “What did you do?”

Something entirely new flashed across his expression— it reminded you of the way he looked when you told him that your mother hit you.  But this was much, much worse, because this time, it was directed at you.  “What did I do?” he repeated, livid.  “What did I do?”

You started to cry harder, your ears still ringing from the gunshots, as Eddie stormed up to you, grabbing you by your shoulders roughly.

“I did what you told me to,” he insisted, raising his voice.  “I saved you!  And now you’re looking at me like I’m a fucking monster!”

“No,” you cried, “no, Eddie, I’m just scared— tell me you didn’t really kill him…”

“What are you scared of?” he laughed— actually laughed, at a time like this, though he didn’t seem particularly amused anymore as his lips curled into a snarl.  “You didn’t mean it, did you?  When you said you loved me, you were lying—”

“No!” you denied, sobbing so hard that it was barely intelligible anymore.  “Eddie, I swear—”

“When you said we’d be together forever,” he continued, his jaw tight and his nostrils flaring.  “I meant that, I meant every fucking word, princess.”

“I know,” you agreed, “I know— me too, Eddie, I love you!”

“Really?” he breathed, holding the sides of your face as you sniffled helplessly.  “Do you really love me, princess?  Don’t lie to me.”

“I love you so much,” you promised, “I’ve only ever loved you… I’m just so scared, I don’t understand—”

Your voice was starting to break, and he soothed you with a shhh and a kiss on the height of your cheekbone.  “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispered, switching back and forth between each cheek, “it can be scary, being in love for the first time.  I said nobody’s ever gonna take you from me, princess, don’t you remember that?”

You nodded, but when you glanced away from where his eyes were boring into you, you could see behind him the lifeless hand of the man he’d killed, the puddle of blood navigating through the cracks in the dusty orange earth.

“Hey, don’t look at that,” he corrected you, turning your face so you’d have to look up at him again.  “Look at me— that doesn’t matter.  This, you and me, this is the only thing that matters, okay?  I love you.  I love you.”

Swallowing only seemed to make the lump in your throat bigger.

“Do you fucking hear me?” he growled.  “I love you!”

“I-I love you too!” you finally choked out.

He slammed his lips onto yours, holding you there long after you tried to push yourself away from him.  “Now,” he announced when he pulled back, “get back in the van.  We need to go.”

~ ♡ ~

When you got sick on car rides, Mama always told you to look out the window.  Well, you couldn’t see out the window from where you were curled up in a ball in the back of the van, your limp body jumping and swaying each time Eddie hit a bump or a turn— but somehow, you didn’t think getting in the passenger and looking at the desolation of rural California was going to help with this particular bout of nausea.

“Come on, come back up to the front,” Eddie pleaded.  “I miss you, princess!”

You said nothing, burying your head into one of the pillows strewn over the mattress.  It smelled like him— it reminded you of how it felt when you were only safe in his arms.  Now you just cried all the time.

When the vehicle came to a stop, and Eddie got out, you wondered if maybe he was just getting gas.  Until the back doors opened and he stood between them, arms stretched out wide to each handle, giving you a pouty look with a tilted head.  “Poor thing,” he cooed, climbing in with you and shutting the doors behind him.  You turned away, you even tried to scoot up closer to the wall, but obviously there was nowhere else to go as he laid down behind you and started to run his hands over you through the thin blanket.  “I know you’re… not happy right now.  Just tell me how to make you feel better.”

You tried to shrug him away, but his fingertips tickled your waist a bit while his whole body moved a bit closer, trying to coax you out of your hiding place.

“Princeeeesss,” he sing-songed, leaning in a little closer to kiss the back of your neck where the blanket didn’t cover it; you flinched and pulled it up over your head, only for him to yank it off of you roughly.  “Hey,” he snapped, “don’t do that.  Don’t act like I’m not here.  Talk to me.”

Sighing, you rolled onto your back and gave him a quick look— it was all you could stand right now— before you stared up at the rusted ceiling of the van.  “What do you want me to say, Ed?” you breathed.

“I want you to say that you’re not mad at me,” he admitted.  “I want you to say that you still love me.”

You let out a long breath, reaching up to rub your eyes with the lowest part of your palm, just by your wrist.  “I… I’m not mad, Eddie, I’m—”

“Scared, I know,” he finished for you, “you only told me a thousand times.”

You groaned and turned away again, curling up even tighter as he started to backtrack instantly.

“N-no, come on, don’t be like that,” he protested, sliding up behind you and spooning you even though his touch sent a rush of conflicted feelings through your body.  “Princess, please— you can’t do this to me, you can’t treat me like this!  You’re gonna kill me, I can’t take it— I can’t take not holding you, not kissing you…”

To emphasize his point, he started to kiss a trail along your neck; and as much as your mind swirled with confusion and fear and hurt, your body did respond to it.  There was a warmth between your legs, a cry for something familiar and comfortable that only he could provide. 

He turned you on to your back again, looking down at you with a tilted, sympathetic sort of frown. “Okay, so maybe I can’t make you happy right now,” he relented, “but…”

He moved a little closer, holding your waist with one hand as he mouthed at your neck.

“But I know I can make you feel good…”

You turned your face away, but he reached up and guided it back with a hand on your cheek, pulling you into a soft, patient kiss.

“I know you didn’t forget this, princess,” he breathed in between moments of slotting his lips with yours.  “I know you can’t forget that we’re made for each other.  You can feel it, can’t you?  When we make love.  It’s so right…”

You didn’t stop him when he pulled you closer, when he climbed on top of you, not even when he slipped his tongue into your mouth.  You were just about ready to give into it, actually, when his hand started moving lower; and you instantly fought to push his hand away while it was slipping into your shorts.  “Eddie, don’t—” you whimpered, but he brushed your hands out of the way and got back to what he was doing.

“No, don’t do that,” he instructed you softly, “I’m just making you feel better, princess— I’m gonna make it better…”

As his fingers expertly explored you, finding those familiar places right away and exploiting them for all they were worth, you shut your eyes tight and struggled to relax beneath him.  You knew if you opened your eyes, you’d find him there, staring down at you with those eyes.  You could see it all: the way his eyes looked when you first met and he made you feel so dizzy and strange and special; the way they looked when he took your virginity— no, when you gave it to him, when you begged him to have it— that night on Lover’s Lake, under the stars, promising you that this was forever; the way they looked when he told you he was going to whisk you, save you from a summer of solitude in France, that forever wasn’t just real, it was now; the way they looked at you over his shoulder, the gun still in his hand, the world completely still and quiet for a moment, once the sounds of an innocent man begging for his life were silenced.

You didn’t know you were crying, until you felt him kiss your tears away.  “You’re doing so good,” he praised, “just like that— so good for me, you’re so beautiful…”

Hoping for a moment of comfort, you clung to him tightly, the building pleasure forcing you to let all of your emotions out; you sobbed, openly, and let every touch awaken your body and silence your mind.

“There you go,” he cooed, holding you tighter in return, “come on my fingers, princess— nice and easy, you know how, just let go—”

Whining his name, the first one hit you.  ‘The first one’ because, immediately after that, he held your legs open and climbed on top of you and fucked you, taking you to the edge again as you held onto him for dear life.  He didn’t stop talking for more than a moment the whole way through it, promising you that he was going to keep you safe, begging you not to leave him, reminding you of every time you’d told him that you loved him and that you were his.

When he was finished, he kissed all over your shaking body, whispering about how perfect you were.  “Do you feel better now, princess?” he asked quietly when his journey of kisses brought him back up to your collarbones.

“I… I feel…” you panted.  You didn’t know where to start.  “Sleepy,” you finally decided, and you felt him press a smile to your cheek.

“Then fall asleep,” he offered, “I’ll wake you up when we get there, okay?  Get some rest… you’ve earned it.”

You were exhausted physically and emotionally, so it didn’t take more than a minute or so once Eddie started driving again for you to lull into dreamlessness.  Sleep was a welcome reprieve from existence, from thought and fear and pain.  From trying to figure out if you were Eddie’s lover or his prisoner.  From remembering how simple, how idyllic your life used to be— no, not perfect, but much easier.  From imagining what would happen to you if the police found you again; from wondering what would happen to them if the police found you again.

It was just a shame you didn’t get to sleep longer.

~ ♡ ~

“Wake up, princess,” his voice gently wafted into your ear.  “We made it, baby, look…”

You blinked your eyes open, feeling Eddie’s arms wrapped tightly around you— a little too tight.  Maybe he still thought you’d run.

But where would you run to?  All you could see out of the open back doors of the van was ocean, and sand.  The beach was empty; and it was just as beautiful as you remembered.  “We’re here,” he told you, kissing your cheek as he held you from behind, cradling you and resting his chin on your shoulder.  “This is it— me and you, together.  And we can go wherever you wanna go next.”

Shivering slightly, you felt your eyes water again.  “I… I wanna go home.”

You should’ve been afraid that it would make him angry, but by now you were so numb… you just said it without thinking.  He didn’t get angry, though, at least not on the outside.  He just laughed a little and told you, “princess, we are home.”

He seemed to get a little more serious, sighing as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“You’re my home,” he belabored the point, “you’re my everything, princess.  I know this is hard… love is hard, especially when it’s real.  Just remember that you love me, okay?”

A gentle kiss landed on your shoulder, then your neck, then your jaw.

“Remember when we promised forever,” he continued, and as tears rolled silently down your expressionless face, he pressed his lips right up to your ear to speak directly into it.  “And remember that if your parents come for you, I’ll kill them, too.”

One of the arms that he’d had crossed over your chest reached up, his thumb wiping your tear away on the opposite cheek from where he’d pressed his face up so close to yours— you could feel his hot breath on your skin, and it, along with his body holding yours so tight, kept you from shivering in the chilly morning breeze over the beach.

“You believe me, right?” he whispered, and you nodded slightly.  “Good,” he cooed as he kissed your cheek.  “I love you so much, princess… you can’t imagine how much.  Your pretty little head would explode.”

After a minute or two you heard a voice saying his goodbyes to his co workers “it’s steven..with a v” you heard him huff and as he turned back towards the bus stop, he locked eyes with yours and for some reason you felt your cheecks heat up so you quickly turned back ahead of you ‘fucking keep it together woman’ you scolded yourself. You squeezed your eyes shut when you felt yourself starting to shiver but it was quickly taken away when you felt a big warm jacket wrap around you, your whipped around and you saw the man that you locked eyes with again. steven. He smiled at you “Sorry..i saw you shivering” he pulled out his umbrella and pushed it open, bringing it to cover the bother of you from the rain, you hugged the jacket around you and nodded at him “t-thank you so much steven” he froze for a moment “how do you know my name?” he questioned with a puzzled look and you laughed “Steven..with a v right?” he stood puzzled for a moment but then you saw his eyes relax “ohh..you heard that huh?” he smiled again and you nodded. Unfortunately, your time with the gentleman was up as your bus came down the road, you turned to him once more “Not your bus?” he shook his head no and you felt a tinge of disappointment, you really enjoyed his company. You’d just met the man but you couldn’t stop yourself from freaking out and asking him the question before you’d never see him again “can i get your number?” you asked while handing him his jacket and he had a look of thought on him, as soon as the bus hauled to a stop you sighed and turned, not noticing he’d shoved a note into your back pocket when you turned around to get onto the bus. As you got to your seat you looked at Steven and he gave you the sweetest smile, waving at you as the bus took off.

—

Now here you were, on your 4th date with Steven. You’d fallen so in love with the Man it hurt to think about not being around him, but you dared not to telling him that. You didnt want to freak him out, maybe if you told him you loved him already he’d be weirded out and would stop talking to you and you couldnt risk that. Steven had told you about Marc and Jake on the 3rd date, of course at first you didn’t believe him but when you were in a dark alley one night, oblivious to the fact a man was following you, you had heard a loud thud and you whipped around to see a man in a white suit, 2 batons in his hands beating the shit out of the guy. After he finished he turned to you seeing you shaken up, but when the suit literally dissolved in front of your eyes and out came steven you immediately calmed down, running into his arms.

Steven told you they all live together because despite their arguments they couldnt bare the thought of losing eachother, he expected you to make fun of him for it but you smiled at him in awe, you really thought it was adorable. Steven went home that day and told Marc and Jake about you but he was hurt when Marc laughed at him “Just fuck her and get it over with, i hate hearing your sappy ass love stories about her” Jake laughed at that and continued eating his food but Steven argued back “Just because you lost Layla that doesnt mean i cant go out and find someone. I wont be the one who fucks this up” and with that he stormed out, picking up his phone and dialling your number.

“Hello?” you grumbled, it was midnight and you were about to fall asleep when you heard the buzzing of your phone. Steven sighed on the other end “Hey love, can i see you? i- i could really do with seeing you right now” he laughed nervously and you hesitated, you were so so tired but then again you loved Steven too much to deny him so you told him you’d meet him at his place. He was about to yell no but you already ended the call. Oh. Oh he panicked. He did not want you meeting Marc and Jake especially after how they just acted.

—

You pulled on some pj’s not bothering to get all fancy, afterall it was midnight. When you got to the elevator Steven was already there speed walking to you “Heyyyy love, how about we take a walk yeah?” you raised an eyebrow staring at him “Steven” you spoke “it’s literally snowing” He looked at you, then outside, then back to you and you saw how his smile faulted, he had no choice now. It was now or never. And god he’d rather choose never but he didnt want to disappoint you when he was the one who got you to meet him in the first place.

He led you inside the elevator with an arm wrapped around you tightly, the elevator dinged as you reached the floor and when he walked you to his door he stopped you and leaned down a little “Marc and Jake….they’re um” you shushed him with a kiss “It’s okay baby, i dont care if they dont like me it’s just me and you remember?” he bit his lip and nodded “yeah..just me and you” you both smiled at each other and he opened the door, leading you inside where Jake looked up from his newspaper and almost spat out his chicken. God you were not what he was expecting, you were absolutely gorgeous. Marc sat up from the couch but didnt pay any mind to you, it did sting a little but you had to remind yourself you only need to worry about Steven. You turned and saw Jake, he was looking at you like he’d just seen a ghost but he was quick to change his expression into a scowl “Do you need something or you gonna keep staring?” he mumbled in a harsh tone, you looked away “no..im sorry” you muttered and and you felt Steven wrap an arm around you protectively causing you to clutch onto his jacket. He eyed Jake daringly while he led you to the bed, sitting you down and then crouching to be eye level with you. In a low voice he said “I’m so sorry they’re being like this love..you dont have to stay i’ll drive you b-“ you cut him off “it’s okay i promise, like i said i only care about you right now” you took a moment to look around you, then back to Steven “Is this the only bed?” you asked and he laughed a little “I know the flat is small..but this is my bed, Marc sleeps on the couch even tho theres another room, thats where Jake sleeps. There’s two beds in there but Marc still refuses to sleep in there, Jake probably threatened him because he prefers being alone” You giggled and he watched you in awe. He loved the way your eyes crinkled up when you laughed.

Steven had changed into his Pj’s, Jake went to his room and Marc was fast asleep on the couch while the baseball played on the screen, Steven had to switch it off before crawling into bed “you okay with staying the night?” he asked and you nodded “Yeah, i feel warm and cosy” you smiled and nuzzled into him, your nose rubbing against his ribs making him laugh and wiggle from being ticklish. You were both laughing until you heard Marc groan in his sleep, you quickly slapped a hand over your mouth stiffling your laugh.

—

It was 3:08am when your eyes shot open and you were panting, the sheets stuck to your sweaty skin and you felt hot tears streaming down your face from the nightmare you had. You turned to see Steven dozing away and it made your heartbeat calm down a little, his steady breathing and peaceful facial expressions made your body relax and you cuddled into him, fisting his t-shirt.

“Are you okay?” you tensed at the deep voice, you sat up quickly and saw Jake at the table again but doing absolutely nothing, he had a glass of whiskey by him but other than that he was staring into nothing. “w-what?” you replied, a little shaken from the nightmare but confused that he was asking if you were okay.

Jake looked down at the table and removed his flat cap, making eye contact with you “i heard you mumbling no in your sleep..like you were being hurt” you gulped “are you okay?” his voice was gentle towards you and you couldnt stop fucking stuttering “Yeah…yes i’m okay thank you” he nodded and went back to staring into his whiskey glass. Thats when Steven woke up wrapping an arm around your stomach and pulling you against his chest. You smiled again and he nuzzled his nose into your hair inhaling your scent “Mmm..you smell good love” he kissed at the back of your neck and you squirmed in his hold “Baby..go back to sleep” you said to him and turned around so you could face him. Jake was sheepishly watching the both of you, jealousy hitting him like a ton of bricks. He had always wished to experience such love. He could tell by the look in Steven eyes he’d fallen utterly and hopelessly in love with you, he didnt blame him, you seemed like a sweet girl. Beautiful too.

Your fingers pushed away Stevens curls and you peppered his face with sweet kisses before you pulled away and looked at him “i love you” you muttered out. You were terrified you went too far but when his eyes widened and the grin on his face grew. you felt a wash of relief “i love you too darling” he pulled you in for a kiss and you felt his leg slot itself between your legs. Instinctively you grinded down on it and moaned into his mouth, Steven bit down on your lip and muttered a soft ‘fuck’. Again, Jakes head flew up to be sure of what he heard just come out of your mouth and he saw how your body was withering against Steven. The moment he felt his jeans tighten he got up and left to his room, he was starting to get frustrated with himself, hes always managed to control himself but seeing you rut and whine against Steven lit a fire deep inside his stomach that he couldnt put out. So when he slipped into bed he unbuckled his belt, threw off his jeans and pushed his hand into his boxers, wrapping his fingers around his hard cock, sighing in relief as he started fisting it slowly to the sounds of you and Steven.

Your legs were wrapped around Stevens head as he was sucking at your clit underneath the blanket, your head was thrown back and your fingers were curled into the sheets. At first you didn’t want to wake Marc but as the pleasure grew stronger you really couldnt give a shit. Steven continued licking and sucking and when he inserted two fingers you couldnt help but let out a loud whimper but quickly slapping a hand over your mouth, shakily breathing through your nose. You used your other hand to fist Stevens hair and grind your pussy against his mouth for more friction, he seemed to like it because he buried his face deeper while curling his fingers into your g-spot. That was your breaking point. You used both hands to fist his hair as you squirted over his face “Fuck! Steven you did so fucking good baby” you moaned out and he removed his lips from your clit, smiling, he silenced your heavy breathing by kissing you deeply, the taste of you smeared on his tongue that was clashing against yours. Suddenly, he pulled away and you heard a faint grunt, but it was only you who seemed to hear it.

Jake came harder than he ever had before when you let out that last whimper, his cum dribbling over his bruised knuckles. After taking his time to calm down he got up and opened his bedroom door, making his way to the bathroom but on his way he saw Stevens head thrown right back, his top teeth sinking into his bottom lip, his eyes squeezed shut and one hand underneath the covers, the other holding onto the blanket tightly. He saw how the blanket slightly moved up and down, as soon as he heard the slurping noises he felt his face burn a light pink. how the fuck has someone managed to make jake lockley blush.

—

When Steven woke up he was a little frantic when you weren’t beside him but when he turned around to jump out of bed and look for you he saw a note on the fish tank

‘Gone to work :) there is a sandwich in the fridge for you dont worry it’s all vegan. I’ll see you later! Text me :) i love you ♡’

He sighed and held the note to his chest, turning around and seeing Marc and Jake eating breakfast at the table.

When he got out of the shower and brushed his teeth he checked the time and saw he had 30 minutes until he had to leave so be picked up his phone and called you to check up on you.

“Hello?” you said joyfully through the phone, causing a smile to creep on Stevens face

“Hey love, is everything okay?” he asked and you giggled a little “Yeah everythings a-okay here, just stacking shelfs” when you finished your sentence, your co-worker walked past you and slapped your ass making you drop a canned soup “Frankie what the fuck?!” you screamed at him and he laughed. You weren’t amused in the slightest and neither was Steven.

‘shit’ you cursed to yourself but when you went to pick your phone back up you saw that he had ended the call. Your heart felt tight and the thought of Steven being upset or misunderstanding something worried you into a panic. You kept ringing him but he wouldnt pick up.

When steven heard the guy slap your ass and your harsh tone telling him ‘what the fuck’ his face dropped. Jake immediately dropped his spoon looking at Steven “Whats wrong amigo?” Marc also looked up at that and Steven was clenching his jaw “Y/n” he muttered and Marc scoffed “Not interested” for some reason this caused a rush of anger through Steven and he lunged at Marc pinning him to the fridge, Jake was a little taken aback by Stevens rage “Will you stop fucking talking like she’s some washed up whore, she’s my everything dont you understand? I’m not asking you to love her or like her, just fucking accept her she doesnt need someone like you messing this up” he let go of Marc and Marc stared at him. Jake knew Marc was likely gonna kick off so he got up and sat Marc down, when marc sat down so did Steven and Jake asked what was wrong “Some..guy touched her ass and she didnt like it” His fists balled but when Jake and Marc were the first to immediately stand up he was flushed with confusion.

—

It was your lunch break when Frankie decided to do it again, slapping your ass but this time it was your food that dropped everywhere. He laughed while you picked up the food that was luckily covered but suddenly you saw a pair of tanned hands holding onto yours, you looked up and met Stevens worried eyes “S’okay love i’ll buy you some food” His presence made the wall you had been building today, break, you buried your face in his chest and cried into it. Steven stroked the back of your hair and made sure to distract you when a car screeched around the corner, haulting to a stop, Jake and Marc came out of the car and walked over to Frankie. Jake was the first to punch him, knocking him straight on his ass while Marc seemed to have a more feral rage. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to a wall, shoving him up and slamming him into the bricks “no one” he pants “no one touches her do you understand?” he was seething. Steven didnt notice you peeping around his shoulder, watching the whole thing unfold.

“o-okay man i was just messing with her she knows that” he laughed nervously but Marcs face grew red with rage “i know that she didnt fucking like it, you think you can just lay hands on her? you think any man other than us can lay hands on her?” frankie shook his head frantically but Marc clearly wasnt finished. He let frankie go causing him to tumble to the floor, Jake stepped in front of Marc and looked down at the man “puta” he muttered before pulling out a beautifully carved knife, holding it to his pinky and without hesitation he sliced the mans finger off but before he could scream in agony, Marc punched him making him go unconscious.

You hid in Stevens arms, shaking, you loved how protective they suddenly were but you were still just an innocent lady…seeing a man be attacked like that would startle you.

Steven held you tightly and kissed your head “Lets go, im taking you home” he said and picked you up bridal style to his car.

—

When you fell asleep in the car he bought a chinese for you and then a few things for Marc and Jake. He managed to carry you and the food to the room, luckily Marc and Jake were already home and Marc rushed over seeing you ‘unconscious’ in Stevens arms “W-what happened is she okay?” he panicked but Steven looked down at you, placing the food down and kissing your forehead “Shes asleep” he said and Marc hesitated. “Can i?…i wont hurt her” Steven nodded and Marc took you from his arms so he could place you into bed, he leaned down and kissed your hairline, stroking a few hairs away from your face “I’m sorry for treating you the way i did honey” he got up and before he could turn he felt a hand wrap around his wrist “Marc” you spoke and he smiled at you “It’s okay”. Marc kissed your hand and walked back over to his brothers, Jake grabbed a plate full of food along with a can of soda to bring to you but when he came to you, you stood up “can we sit on the couch…all of us?” he smiled at that and nodded to you “of course” he took your food and placed it on the table in front of the couch. Marc, Steven and Jake all grabbed their plates and came over to the couch. Marc sat to your right and Jake sat to your left, you sat in the middle with Steven laying between your legs watching a random marvel movie on the tv.

When thor lost his brother Loki you had to hide your face, Steven huffed a laugh and turned his head to look up at you “Are you crying love?” you shook your head “It’s so sad” you sobbed and Jake laughed but then he gasped “Marc??” you all turned to him and saw his teary eyes. He quickly wiped them away and sat up “i literally had an eyelash in my eye” You giggled and held onto stevens hand letting him kiss along your wrist, your legs involuntarily squeezed around him causing him to groan lightly, at first you froze, your cheeks burning a bright red as you looked over at Marc who didnt pay much attention but when you looked over at Jake he suddenly had a pillow on his lap. You were a little confused but turned back to Steven, leaning down and whispering “Can we go to bed?” you nipped at his ear and he immediately sat up, putting his food on the table and you followed after him.

———

2 days later you were sat at home, it was a friday and you and Jake planned to go to a club. Steven was more than happy to let you to go, Marc insisted to tag along because deep down he just wanted to protect you from the evil, but he also knew Jake could handle anything, so he was a little stroppy when Jake argued saying its his turn to bond with you, Marc can wait his turn.

Jake obviously had to drive his limo over to your house, you came out in a beautiful [colour] dress. He stopped himself from gauking and staring too long but the moment you sat snug in his limo he couldnt help himself. God he really tried. “you look gorgeous cariño” you blushed at his compliment and he was quick to set off down the road towards the club.

—

About an hour in, you were drunk to say the least, you had slumped over the bar and Jake had to keep sitting you up, it was until you had a random burst of energy and pulled jake to his feet and dragged him to the dance floor. You danced against him and he was so let loose, he could dance, way better than Steven and assuming Marc. He told you it was the Spanish in him and you laughed, your back pressed against his chest as his hand traced over your stomach, dancing slowly when a love song came on. “Did i tell you how handsome you look in that suit?” you mumured against his ear and he shook his head “You didnt, but i appreciate the compliment bebe” his breath fanned across your neck causing you to shiver. You let out an accidental moan and Jake growled “Fuck y/n no sabes lo difícil que es controlarme a mi alrededor” You had no idea what he said but you sighed against his skin “I wanna go home” you whispered and he nodded “Okay, come on.” As he lead you to the exit his head whipped around when you yelped. Some guy had spilt fucking beer on your dress and Oh was Jake furious. The guy didnt even have the decency to apologise, he just laughed and carried on walking. Obviously that was until Jake gently pushed past you grabbing onto the guy by the back of his neck and slamming him into the window, completely shattering the glass. When Jake turnt him around there was blood seeping from his unconscious face, He dragged him towards you “Apologise” he smiled down at him, shaking him. “No? alright then” You panicked when Jake pulled out a gun, you grabbed onto his wrist “Jake..Lets just go it’s fine i can wash it out” Jake looked up at your pleading eyes and dropped the guy, looping his arm in yours and leading you to the Limo, carefully sitting you down “Steven wont be happy, nor will Marc” was all he said before driving home.

—

When you got to their apartment Steven examined you for any injuries, repeatedly asking if you were okay and you nodded each time. When he helped you into the shower he got in with you and you rested your head against his shoulder, sighing. “I love you so much Stevie..so so much” you slurred and he sighed, wrapping his arms around you “I know dove, i love you just as much”

“Can i ask you something? it’s not something i want i promise, i was only thinking about it” you asked and he nodded, assuring you to go on.

“Since you..Marc and Jake all have the same faces, youre all the same person but when you obviously came back to life for some reason you all stayed in separate bodies….if i was to-“ You stopped when Steven laughed.

He pulled away and cupped your face “I wouldnt mind darling…You’re right. We are the same person and i know they would never hurt you. I would never hurt you. In fact, i would actually love it if we were all together” you smiled and your eyes widened in question “really?” you asked and he kissed you “Yeah”.

After your shower, Steven went over to his brothers and had a conversation you werent so sure about but you did notice how Jakes body relaxed yet he became fidgety, constantly looking at you and then back to steven and marc. It confused you but you were still tipsy, so you slipped on Stevens shirt and Marcs sweatpants, slumping into bed and wrapping yourself in Stevens blanket, hogging it completely.

—

You dont remember falling asleep but you were woken up by Marc and Jake arguing. You looked over to see if Steven was beside you but he wasnt. That was odd. He never left your side unless he needed to. You tumbled out of bed and groaned in pain, hitting your head on the wood. Jake jolted around and saw you laying on the floor, of course being overly protective he thought the worst. But marc was ahead of him, kneeling down and scooping you up in his arms placing you back into bed “go back to sleep honey, i’m sorry for waking you” he kissed the side of your head and you whined for Steven “Wheres Steven” you took a pause and clutched your blanket “need him” Jake looked at Marc who was already looking back at him “Stevens gone out to grab some milk and some snacks cariño” Jake told you and you whined again.

Sweat clung to your skin and Marc genuinely became a little concerned “are you okay? can we help with whatever you need?” he rested a hand on your shoulder and you shivered “i..im not sure” you said, muffled from being buried into the sheets. Jake knew. From the way you were desperately holding back from grinding against the blanket that managed to get in between your legs, Marc was surprisingly oblivious. When you looked up, your doey eyes met Jakes and he snapped, he crawled over to you kicking off his shoes and taking off his cap in the process “i can give you what you need yeah? Steven had a conversation with us…he’s completely okay with this” You shook your head “Please please please” you begged and he chuckled “Shhh mi amor” he whispered against you and slowly leaned down to kiss at your neck.

Marc stepped back, he could feel his pants growing tighter but he didnt want to ruin anything for Steven. He didnt want to accidentally hurt you, he didnt want to offend you at all he was so lost on what to do until Steven came through the door. He stopped at the sight of Jake caging you in, kissing down your neck, hearing your needy whines, he dropped the bag and shook off his jacket, making his way over to the three of you. You looked to see Steven and you reached your hand out “Baby..need you so bad…need all of you” Steven crawled onto the bed and started kissing you deeply, Again Marc stood there awkwardly.

“Amigo..” Jake started, looking to Marc and you did the same, grabbing onto his wrist “If you dont want to thats okay Marc, None of us will judge but if you do thats okay too, Steven can show you gentle okay?” he looked to Steven, then back to you, nodding before taking your hand and kissing along your forearm and up to your shoulder. You felt overwhelmed with all of them kissing different parts of your body, you pushed Jake down and he continued kissing down your stomach, wrapping his fingers around the waistband of the sweatpants you were wearing, pulling them down along with your panties. He didnt leave time, he knelt down and licked a stripe up your clit and your back arched off the bed, moaning into Stevens mouth. He caressed your face and pulled away, looking into your eyes that struggled to stay open “Does that feel good love? is Jake making you feel good hm?” you nodded frantically “Mhm” you moaned and Jake took that as cue to start sucking on your clit, working a finger inside you.

Marc lifted your shirt and Steven pulled it off you, Marc helped you sit up while Steven unclasped your bra, letting it fall to the floor. When you laid back down, Marc latched his mouth over a nipple causing you to grip Stevens hand “Fuck Marc, just like that” he groaned at your whining and his hand came up to play with your other nipple. Steven started to get a little impatient, so he kissed your forehead and pushed down his pants, freeing his aching cock that sprung to his stomach. You were quick to wrap your hand around it, lifting your head and sucking on his tip, you moaned at the taste of his pre-cum and he bucked his hips, his dick hitting the back of your throat making you gag “Shit, im so sorry darling” He removed his dick and kissed the tip of your nose, you giggled at him and kissed him “it’s okay, you didnt hurt me baby” He smiled lovingly at you sat back up “keep going” you whispered and he nodded, sliding his dick across your lips, thrusting slightly until you opened your mouth again. Marc and Jake looked at the both of you.

God you were both so in love, it was adorable. They were happy for the both of you.

Jake stood up, fisting his dick, he stood closer and rubbed the tip of his dick against your clit causing you to moan around Stevens dick, Jake looked to Steven almost as if he was asking permission to fuck you, First Steven looked down to you and you knew why he was looking, you nodded and Steven nodded to Jake. The moment he nodded you felt Jakes cock slide straight into you, bottoming out and you had to move away from Stevens dick to push Jake slightly back. He panicked for a moment “Sorry cariño i didn’t mean to go so fast” he pulled out halfway and stroked the outside of your thighs until you laid back down, holding onto Marcs hand. Marc glared at Jake “Just be careful” Steven interrupted. You kissed his fingers and he looked down at you “If you want to stop, dont ever be nervous to say so” he kissed you back and you sighed “I know i know….i dont wanna stop” At that, Jake slowly inched back in, thrusting slowly, he felt his dick twitch at the sight of your face twisting in pleasure. Marc kissed along your jaw and you made eye contact with him “Are you okay?” you whispered and he nodded with a cute grin “I dont want to fuck you yet, if thats okay. I’d rather take my time, just me and you” he blushed as he finished and you stroked the side of this cheek “Of course, thats okay darling” Marc got up, grabbing his jacket and leaving so he didnt get tempted.

—

Once Steven came down your throat and Jake pulled out, spilling his cum over your stomach, Marc walked back in seeing your exhausted body laying against Steven. Jake was kissing your inner thigh but you nudged him away “too sensitive” you whined and Jake gave a last kiss before getting up and walking to the bathroom to clean himself off. Marc came over to you with a warm, damp cloth in his hand. Steven was holding you while Marc cleaned off the cum that had striped across your stomach, then he wiped the drool from your chin and neck, then your nipples, then in between your legs. Your legs jolted from being sensitive and Marc apologised, kissing your knee before finishing up and throwing the cloth away. You felt hot, you were sweating and being so close to Steven started agitating you, you didnt want to pull away but you had to and when you did Steven looked at you confused. “everything okay love?” he asked, holding onto your hand and you smiled “Yeah..just need a drink” you replied back to him, crawling off the bed and towards the kitchen.

Marc came up behind you, grabbing a glass before you tried to reach for it. You muttered a ‘thank you’ and stumbled over to the tap, gripping onto the side for a second to stable yourself. Of course, you just assumed it was because of the sex you just had but your insides felt like they were becoming warmer, almost burning. “M-marc” you stuttered out and he turned to you, his face dropping completely. Your eyebrows furrowed at his sudden change in expression, but what you didnt see was how your face had lost its colour and the thin layer of sweat had turned into streaks. Jake and Steven came over when they heard Marcs panicked tone “Y/n look at me” Marc said, he was slowly walking towards you but you werent aware, your head was spinning. The glass in your hand was slipping and Steven caught sight of it, rushing to grab it before it dropped but as he made the sudden motion your eyes lulled back, your body was held up by Marc who quickly picked you up bridal style “Jake run down and start the fucking car!” he yelled but Jake was already out the door, running to the car.

—

Your head was on Stevens lap as Jake drove you to the hospital, most definitely going way past the speed limit but he didnt care. Marc was next to Steven, comforting him while Steven continued to stroke your hair “wake up baby come on, please” he whispered, desperate to see any movement from you. You still had a pulse but you were completely unconscious, Marc was holding your hand tightly and even tho he wasn’t one to show much emotion, here he was, tears streaming down his face at the thought of losing you. Maybe he ran out of time to show you how much he actually loves you, to show you how gentle he can be, to show you the world.

Jake haulted to a stop and practically threw the door open, Steven begged to be the one to take you in but Jake was against it, telling him it wouldn’t be good for him nor Marc to come in since it would only cause more worry. Marc agreed and for once, he pulled Steven into a hug, stroking his back “Its gonna be okay, she’ll be okay she has to be”. Steven nodded against him and Marc watched Jake carry you into the Hospital.

————

I've been with my husband for 17 years, married for 11 and for 15 of those years I've been emotionally abused and raped. The very first time he held me down and raped me anally I thought it would never happen again. He'd just lost his job and he lost control. But that wasn't the last time. Over the course of a decade he broke me down emotionally, made me think I was nothing but a sex toy to him. He took my fantasies, many of which I've written about and he twisted them. Tying me up and blindfolding me so I couldn't see or escape what was coming. The spanking/punishments that I would get would go from pleasurable/light hearted to out right torture leaving me bruised, bleeding and sobbing for him to stop. Which he wouldn't until he was satisfied. He'd vaginally insert sex toys, his fingers or his penis, raping me usually unlubricated until I was torn and bleeding. He'd take photos that I never consented to for his own pleasure later. When I mentioned wanting a safe word the answer was no because we didn't need one. He didn't but I did.

He controlled so much of my life inside our home. What I could wear, how I did my hair, I could never wear make up, even during our wedding when I did wear light makeup he told me I looked disgusting and I shouldn't have put any on. I lost touch with my friends and rarely spoke to my family. Hell, I couldn't even pick what we watched on TV because if he wasn't interested I wasn't allowed to be either.

When I told him I wasn't interested in marriage, he told me I wasn't committed to him and that our relationship meant nothing to me if we didn't get married, so to prove my commitment I got married. Within a couple years we had our son and I thought maybe he would change cause he was a dad now. But no, the emotional abuse was brought upon our baby.

There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't yell at our son about something. He's playing too loud, he's watching too much TV, he didn't clean up fast enough, he didn't move fast enough, he's asking for too much help with homework, he eats too much/not enough and the list goes on. My son is 9 years old and he's never known that dad's aren't like that. That other kids have dad's that don't yell at them when they ask for something to eat.

I can't keep raising my son in this house and I can't keep being abused either. I hate to do this but I need help. He takes my paychecks and I've been saving what I can but the cost of living keeps going up. Shelters in my area are more than full. Below is my PayPal, the only place I can save money that my husband doesn't have access too. If you can spare a dollar or even a reblog I will be eternally grateful. Please help us and thank you.