Clown Supreme

gay men brought back 70s mustaches, lesbians brought back 80s mullets, and now straight dudes are just walking around with both thinking they stumbled onto this styling choice by accident. say the line meryl (cerulean sweater monologue but specifically about how gay culture creates taste)

I need to make something really elaborate and cool (doesn't move

I cannot produce the words to describe how deeply I am disgusted by the way a lot of people talk about being nonbinary as a temporary stepping stone to becoming "full-trans."

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

I wish people were as scared of getting into a car accident as they are of being true crime'd. Maybe then they wouldn't be on their phones while driving.

True crime girlies will be like "wtf I would never go for a walk at night, what if the hash slinging slasher gets me" and then use their knees to merge with no turn signal in front of a semi while applying makeup with both hands

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

no mi circo no mis feratus

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue