my wife can stab me a little bit i dont care

i actually dont think dating a vampire would be fun imagine dating someone 200 years older than you like what do you talk about... steam engines

imagine introducing your vampire boyfriend to your friends and he goes “boy, that movie was a real lollapalooza!” & then starts listing every anti irish slur he knows

bro can u shut up im trying to telepathically tell u i miss u

after a thorough medical assessment, the doctors have described me as ‘a lot. just like a lot to deal with’

i go in for a stomach ache, and the doctors are all just like, i think we should pull the plug 

idk who needs to hear this but your nose looks fine. you don’t need a nose job

the hotter it gets the more i realize i only fuck with the summer superficially and in concept

lorde was right. i'm a liability

physically i’m here but mentally i’m floating face down in a river

if you hug me hard enough I make a squeaky toy sound

Its the sadness being squeezed out

I know there’s a lesson in everything but like 🥺 I’ve had enough

find myself listening to music i loved years ago and i realize i still am her

SICK of thinking! Won’t be doing that again