Cringe is Dead. Enjoy Things

posting this again cause now its actually true

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

the trick is be a good parent so they don’t wanna fight you. son if you topple my criminal empire how will i pay for your college? reverse batmanning

Weaponized guilt. Son you’re out on a school night? When you have that big science test tomorrow? I thought you’d be studying…getti g some rest…no I’m not mad I’m just. Well a little disappointed I guess. What do you mean this wouldn’t be happening if I’d stop robbing banks their insurance covers it son money isn’t real

Who’s this guy is he your “sidekick”? That’s so cute when are you having him over for dinner. I’m not teasing I think it’s sweet I’m glad you’re making friends. Side note how durable is he I’m about to throw a car at you

it’s so embarrassing when you finally, reluctantly, with much foot-dragging, implement some piece of basic health advice and immediately feel better. how dare that work.

Walk in T hormone clinic and calorie dense food restaurant combo called build a bear is this anything

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting

none of us are making those appointments huh

We should have a day to do this. Like 8th of month is ADHDay, call your doctor to get the pills.

Happy 8th of the month! It's ADHDay. Have you been putting off making a doctor's appointment? Today is the day to do that. Do it now, right now, before you forget again.

i should wake up and automatically be restored to full health, that's how sleeping should work, what is this horseshit

*waking up with a sore neck* where are my goddamn spell slots