My life is a TV show

TODAY MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER BURNED A DOLLAR IN FRONT OF US BUT HE FORGOT TO TELL US THAT THE DOLLAR WOULDNT BURN ONLY THE ALCOHOL WOULD SO HE TOOK OUT A 100 DOLLAR BILL AND SOAKED IT IN ALCOHOL AND WERE LIKE “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” AND HE CAUGHT IT ON FIRE AND WE ALL YELLED AT HIM BUT THEN IT WENT OUT AND THE BILL WAS FINE AND WE WERE SILENT FOR 20 MINUTES

How to get your class to shut up for the entire period: science teacher edition

has anyone called her yet?

maybe

MANRAY!!

if you kill a guy who has a boner does his penis continue to be erect or what

Yes. It does actually. And when they go to the morgue to be prepared for burial, the person cleaning them up and such breaks it so it lays flat.

“So what do you do for a living? “I put makeup on dead people and snap boners.”

"Die Hard"

that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary

DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION

AW

AWWWW

AWWWWWW

AWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWWWWWW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW

I’ve shipped this since before I even knew what shipping was.

Right in my childhood feels. 

Aziz Ansari is like the king of callouts.

Are you telling me there’s something in my state that isn’t shitty?

I’m reblogging this again because it’s one of the best things to have ever been said ever.

He is so fit

HEY THIS WAS ORIGINALLY A PORN GIF WHO CHANGED IT TO OBAMA WITH A DUCK

THAT IS NOT OBAMA WITH A DUCK

I LOVE THIS POST BECAUSE I’VE SEEN IT ON MY DASH 3 TIMES AND EACH TIME IT’S A DIFFERENT PICTURE

I just have to reblog this post every time it shows up with a different picture

My six pack has arrived due to laughter

There are actual tears streaming down my face