I just realized I’ve survived everything I’ve ever encountered in life. I have a 100% survival rate. I’m fucking nailing it.

life is all about owning four pairs of jeans and only feeling good about one pair at any given moment

Babygirl I’m popping joints that paleontologists don’t even know about

No, fuck. Chiropractors

Yo mama so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist

that “oooo” when someone got In Trouble in elementary school… that was a greek chorus

still being active on tumblr is camp

this post is gonna blow up even more when op deactivates

i'll outlive everything you love

i fucking hate fruit flies literally get out of my face im not a fruit

wait.

in this house we do grandma activities

im shaking what does this mean

We will neighhhhhhhhhver no