ace of spades

When I’m not busy watching game shows, yeah. And other than the past two days, I never really watch game shows.

“what fucking freak would want to jump on your dick anyways? is it a girl?”

“How does that even work? Like, what’s the point of the gas mask part?”

“that’s what i’m trying to figure out. like, it’s basically a dildo attached to your face so i guess the other person has to insert it in themselves while you’re tied down or something.”

“uhm, no. i’ve never actually seen a sex toy before, let alone used one…,”

“you’ve never even seen one? jesus fuck, what fucking century do they live in your country?”

“uh no i haven’t. sex is supposed to be organic and freeing. why would you wanna mess it up with a bunch of plastic contraptions?” 

“what the fuck is organic and freeing sex?”

“fine. i won’t be at your funeral. fuck me? already done this morning. but hey, if you wanna give it a go … and who’s your connection? matty? he doesn’t fuckin’ know either. yeah it is mom, sorry to disappoint you by bein’ anythin’ but ladylike. ”

“for your information, i happen to know more people than just matty. besides, i don’t actually have to be friends with people in order to gather information. manipulation and threatening are two things i use quite often to my own advantage. i’ll find out which lucky fucker gets to put his dick inside of you, though. i will find out.”

You know what pisses me off about The Price is Right? I’ve been watching a lot of that show lately because I couldn’t find the remote for like two days. Anyway, when someone bids $400, and then the asshole next to them bids $401 and wins, it’s so fucked up. If you do that, you’re pretty much asking to get your ass beat by some stranger in the parking lot after the show, y'know? It’s probably gonna happen if you outbid them by one dollar like that. Game shows are brutal, dude.

“you get laid?”

“ do i need to fuckin’ repeat myself? curiosity kills the cat. yeah, it’s the same fuckin’ person and the regularity of it doesn’t concern your nosy ass. you get what i give you, and if you complain, i won’t even bother. i’ll fuckin’ walk away. oh i’m sure your pretty little lips can convince them otherwise – you seem to be full of amazing comebacks already. ”

“so let it kill me, cassie. you know what? fuck you. i’ll find out for myself. don’t underestimate me. i’ve got connections. is that sarcasm? i feel like that’s sarcasm. i’m not sure if i like the tone of that.”

“ none of your fuckin’ business. in case you haven’t noticed, we’re not besties. my god, it’s a fuck not a relationship. we’re not datin.’ really? like askin’ again is goin’ to make me fuckin’ tell you? not a chance. cute. the whole friends with benefits shit? because you’re underage? doesn’t get much different when you turn seventeen, but if you want he guy’s dick so bad, fuckin’ lie. ”

“shit, cassie, you’re making me really curious now. is this, like, a regular fuck? like, is it the same person? a friend with benefits? at least give me some sort of clue! yeah, you see... lying about my age doesn’t really get me far most of the time considering i have the face and body of a twelve year old.”

“to each to their own, i guess. i wasn’t exactly disagreeing – you just made me feel stupid, and that’s not really appreciated. hitler is a little extreme, but you have a point.”

“oh, man, i’m so sincerely for making you feel stupid. it really was obviously not my intention at all.”

“ you sound like me when i’m baked. i would, but i’m bein’ satisfied sexually so why would i want to raise my std risk? i get off just fine – i’d still like to keep my stamina up, though. fuckin’ better for me anyway, to exercise out of the bedroom like a healthy individual. and is that what you do? fuck a new guy each new day? i guess you’ll never know ‘cause if you think i’m tellin’ you, good - fuckin’ - luck copy cat. ‘course you are. best not to give me free reign, though, i might take fuckin’ advantage. ”

“you’re being sexually satisfied? by who? i didn’t know you had someone in your life. who’s the lucky guy? or girl? new guy each day, i fucking wish. it’s mostly just matty but i try to get some diversity in my life. not many guys are all that fond about fucking a sixteen year old, however.”