I hope the exit is joyful

I just read this excellent article by The Atlantic about the impact of Covid on immunocompromised people. As an immunocompromised person myself, it really spoke to me. While the article is long, I specifically wanted to highlight the parts taking about ableism.

I am so happy a piece of journalism is acknowledging how fucking disgusting and ableist society’s reaction to the disabled, elderly, and generally infirm has been during Covid. People like me- who are at a high risk of Covid- are treated like burdens. Like we’re dragging society down. Like it’s our fault things aren’t back to normal yet. I have heard some people say things that straight-up sound like eugenics, that we should let “the weak” die.

Here are some more “ambiguous” phrases which courts have found DO NOT invoke your right to a lawyer:

“Maybe I should speak to my lawyer first.”

“I might like a lawyer.”

“I think I should have a lawyer present for this.”

“Could I speak to my lawyer first?”

“How long until my lawyer gets here?”

And perhaps most egregiously – “Get me a lawyer, dawg – ‘cause this is not what’s up.”

Here are the magic phrases which you need to know if you want to invoke your Miranda rights:

1) “Am I free to leave?”

It’s worth asking this even if the answer is obvious. Even if the officer does not let you leave, by forcing them to admit that you are not free to leave, you are creating a record which your attorney can use to prove that you were in custody. Miranda rights only apply if the interrogation is custodial, meaning that police officers will frequently claim that their suspects were “not in custody” to get around their Miranda rights.

2) “I am invoking my right to remain silent.”

Simply staying silent will not invoke your right to remain silent. As absurd as this is, you must explicitly say that you are invoking your right to remain silent in order to invoke that right.

3) “I am invoking my right to an attorney.”

As stated above, you must be not only clear and unambiguous, but clear and legally unambiguous. Don’t get cute. Don’t get sassy. And on the flip side, don’t get intimidated and use verbal ticks to minimize your request. Say the line with those words exactly – say it clearly, and say it once, and then say nothing else.

Because even after you’ve done all this, the police can still try to get you to talk. They’re not supposed to interrogate you, but they’re allowed to make casual conversation, and if that conversation just happens to circle back around to the thing they wanted to question you about, well, that’s really your fault for talking after you said you wouldn’t, isn’t it? Can’t possibly fault the poor officers when you initiated – if you really wanted to have your rights respected, you wouldn’t have talked to them in the first place.

The police know this, and they will mercilessly exploit this loophole. So, once you’ve successfully invoked your Miranda rights, any and all conversation you have with police officers will put those rights back into jeopardy. 

Putting it all together:

Ask: “Am I free to leave?”

If they say no, say: “I am invoking my right to remain silent and I am invoking my right to an attorney.”

And then shut up and do not say a single thing to them for any reason whatsoever until you have actually spoken to an attorney. Yes, even if it takes hours. Yes, even if they start talking to you about something else.

Finally, a very important disclaimer:

Don’t answer ANYTHING without a lawyer’s support. No lawyer? No answers.  Don’t tell them where you work or when you get home. Don’t confirm whether you’re married. Don’t tell them why you were at whatever location they found you. Don’t try to mention an alibi until you have a lawyer.

You don’t have to confirm your name or address, either, although not doing so can result in an annoying stay at the station.

SIGN NOTHING. DON’T AGREE TO ANYTHING. You cannot possibly be “too paranoid”; the system is absolutely rigged to assume that anyone the cops bring in, must be guilty of something, and they just need to figure out what and how much to punish them.

Keep in mind:

1) They are allowed to lie to you. You cannot trust ANYTHING they tell you. Anything at all. Assume everything they say is a lie or a deliberate misinterpretation of the truth. 

2) You are not allowed to lie to them. Lying to them is “obstruction of justice” and is usually a felony. You can get hit with an obstruction charge for saying “I get home at 5:30″ because some days you get home at 5:15. (This would only be used if the District Attorney is an asshole. Guess what? The DA is an asshole.)