Claude Contemplates

🍫💗🎮

Going back to the past for some nostalgia 💕

Mellodramattic Headcannons: Part 1

Finally. I am sorry for it taking me 2 months. Thank you for the patience and the enthusiasm.

I will be posting it bit by bit. Drama and suspense.

Not the usual list of headcannons perhaps but I tried my best.

Matt was special.

Mello never had a friend like that before. It seemed that nothing Mello did could offend Matt, and that magnetised Mello in a way. Matt put up with him. Matt wasn't scared of him. Matt talked to him. Matt joked with him.

Matt was really damn funny, Mello thought.

There was also another problem. Mello, having been brought up in a Catholic environment, had an unpleasant feeling he was doing something mortally wrong. He hated this constant background noise. This didn't use to be like this. Something was wrong with him. 

Strangely enough, he did not have the same feeling about, say, being disrespectful. That was just something he did and it didn't affect him.

Mello was praying a lot, something he hadn't done for a long time out of his own accord. If he was sinning by loving Matt, God could cleanse him, right?

Yet, the feelings persisted.

Then one night, as Mello was praying, he felt a strange lightness in his chest. God could only cleanse him of his sins. Love is not a sin. Mello was free.

He was unusually peaceful that night.

And then Mello sat by Matt again, he talked to him and laughed with him and everything was back to normal again. Matt was slightly confused. Mello never explained anything about his behaviour.

(I know that officially Mello and Matt reunited in 2009, but because this isn't a big part of the plot of Death Note, in my heart they reunited earlier.)

Near is now the successor of L, Mello is leaving Wammy's House and Matt is sitting on his bed, feeling very disoriented. Wammy's seemed unbearably empty without Mello. Quiet and boring.

Matt buried himself in video games. Matt also started regularly nicking cigarettes from one of the teachers. He quite unsuccessfully tried smoking before with Mello, but this time he was doing it for real. The teacher seemed to either not notice or not bother. Matt was disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Matt did research. He spent a lot of nights under the blanket with his computer listening for footsteps and digging through private transit records. It took long enough for Matt to start thinking this project was a waste of time.

It paid off though. He finally had a very vague idea where of Mello was.

Mello, of course, also missed Matt. He didn't even say goodbye properly. He just shoved some of his belongings in a bag, yelling at Matt to let go of him and to go away and suck it up and deal with it, and left. Mello himself could not suck it up and deal with it. He cried a lot. He felt free and that made him happy, but he, despite not wanting to, missed the stability that came with Wammy's and he missed his Matt.

Matt was having thoughts about running away.

The idea attracted him immensely: it sounded like a fun adventure and that way he could meet Mello again. However, the idea equally terrified him. Matt didn't really want to move and think and make decisions.

Wammy's was safe. But also steadily more and more lonely and difficult to navigate through.

So he set upon running away. He decided that if he was thinking about it so much, it meant he wanted it.

One night Matt went through the gate of Wammy's House into the big world.

This was a very new experience for him. Matt never slept outside on a bench before. He was very happy that he was out of Wammy's, but he was also very scared that Mello would move and Matt's efforts would go to dogs.

Matt was in a supermarket. Some way away he saw a blond head bobbing among the shelves. He, of course, could not ignore that, so he casually slid by the person, who sharply turned his head towards Matt and ensured to drown him in a waterfall of swearing.

Mello seemed not at all happy about seeing Matt. He said he wanted to break free from the past and start over again. He didn't want anyone from his past life. He didn't want dependence. He wanted to be alone. Matt had to go back to where he came from. Matt was a really big idiot for doing this incredibly stupid thing, according to Mello.

Despite saying that, a part of Mello was overjoyed at seeing Matt's eager face again. His friend and his anchor. Mello established certain connections now but, of course, none were as strong as that between him and Matt. He missed friendship.

Yet Mello didn't want to show these thoughts on the matter, so put a plan before Matt. If Matt stays, he must be quiet and inconspicuous, helping around and doing what Mello said was necessary. If he doesn't want to do that, he had to march straight back to Wammy's House.

He first had to explain to Matt his goal. They went over to the little room Mello was staying in and, after Mello carefully examined Matt and made sure he had no spying devices planted, talked through Mello's plan. Matt found the idea of catching Kira alone rather daunting but thought that if that meant he wasn't stuck in the orphanage and he was with Mello, it was worth it.

Matt soon felt like they were not friends anymore though, but rather colleagues. Everything felt quite dry and stiff. Matt tried to act relaxed, but it only annoyed Mello. He didn't want to get distracted from his goals, but also he kept feeling certain things which he hoped he wasn't feeling.

He denied everything. He thought maybe he just missed his best friend and now that Matt is here, he is... overjoyed. Mello didn't want to admit this. He can't miss someone that much. However, he soon fell into one of his regular pits of desperate overthinking, whereby he would question everything and suffer in silence after suddenly becoming very aware of his own existence. He started dissecting his emotions and feelings, especially those towards Matt.

He understood that what he felt at Wammy's was a crush. But that was a while back! He is older now. He is different.

They were going to America. Matt asked a lot of questions about this, but Mello was adamant this was necessary. They didn't leave Britain through legal means. The money was taken from jobs they didn't discuss too much, for fear of getting caught. The identities were forged through some of Mello's underground contacts. Matt was amazed at how many people this boy knew. Matt was also not used to the fact that now he had papers saying he was 18, especially considering the cake they had on his 16th birthday just a few months ago.

Mello was very excited. He was going a step up.

....

America was not all good alcohol and pretty girls.

Mellodramattic Headcannons: Part 1

Finally. I am sorry for it taking me 2 months. Thank you for the patience and the enthusiasm.

I will be posting it bit by bit. Drama and suspense.

Not the usual list of headcannons perhaps but I tried my best.

Matt was special.

Mello never had a friend like that before. It seemed that nothing Mello did could offend Matt, and that magnetised Mello in a way. Matt put up with him. Matt wasn't scared of him. Matt talked to him. Matt joked with him.

Matt was really damn funny, Mello thought.

There was also another problem. Mello, having been brought up in a Catholic environment, had an unpleasant feeling he was doing something mortally wrong. He hated this constant background noise. This didn't use to be like this. Something was wrong with him. 

Strangely enough, he did not have the same feeling about, say, being disrespectful. That was just something he did and it didn't affect him.

Mello was praying a lot, something he hadn't done for a long time out of his own accord. If he was sinning by loving Matt, God could cleanse him, right?

Yet, the feelings persisted.

Then one night, as Mello was praying, he felt a strange lightness in his chest. God could only cleanse him of his sins. Love is not a sin. Mello was free.

He was unusually peaceful that night.

And then Mello sat by Matt again, he talked to him and laughed with him and everything was back to normal again. Matt was slightly confused. Mello never explained anything about his behaviour.

(I know that officially Mello and Matt reunited in 2009, but because this isn't a big part of the plot of Death Note, in my heart they reunited earlier.)

Near is now the successor of L, Mello is leaving Wammy's House and Matt is sitting on his bed, feeling very disoriented. Wammy's seemed unbearably empty without Mello. Quiet and boring.

Matt buried himself in video games. Matt also started regularly nicking cigarettes from one of the teachers. He quite unsuccessfully tried smoking before with Mello, but this time he was doing it for real. The teacher seemed to either not notice or not bother. Matt was disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Matt did research. He spent a lot of nights under the blanket with his computer listening for footsteps and digging through private transit records. It took long enough for Matt to start thinking this project was a waste of time.

It paid off though. He finally had a very vague idea where of Mello was.

Mello, of course, also missed Matt. He didn't even say goodbye properly. He just shoved some of his belongings in a bag, yelling at Matt to let go of him and to go away and suck it up and deal with it, and left. Mello himself could not suck it up and deal with it. He cried a lot. He felt free and that made him happy, but he, despite not wanting to, missed the stability that came with Wammy's and he missed his Matt.

Matt was having thoughts about running away.

The idea attracted him immensely: it sounded like a fun adventure and that way he could meet Mello again. However, the idea equally terrified him. Matt didn't really want to move and think and make decisions.

Wammy's was safe. But also steadily more and more lonely and difficult to navigate through.

So he set upon running away. He decided that if he was thinking about it so much, it meant he wanted it.

One night Matt went through the gate of Wammy's House into the big world.

This was a very new experience for him. Matt never slept outside on a bench before. He was very happy that he was out of Wammy's, but he was also very scared that Mello would move and Matt's efforts would go to dogs.

Matt was in a supermarket. Some way away he saw a blond head bobbing among the shelves. He, of course, could not ignore that, so he casually slid by the person, who sharply turned his head towards Matt and ensured to drown him in a waterfall of swearing.

Mello seemed not at all happy about seeing Matt. He said he wanted to break free from the past and start over again. He didn't want anyone from his past life. He didn't want dependence. He wanted to be alone. Matt had to go back to where he came from. Matt was a really big idiot for doing this incredibly stupid thing, according to Mello.

Despite saying that, a part of Mello was overjoyed at seeing Matt's eager face again. His friend and his anchor. Mello established certain connections now but, of course, none were as strong as that between him and Matt. He missed friendship.

Yet Mello didn't want to show these thoughts on the matter, so put a plan before Matt. If Matt stays, he must be quiet and inconspicuous, helping around and doing what Mello said was necessary. If he doesn't want to do that, he had to march straight back to Wammy's House.

He first had to explain to Matt his goal. They went over to the little room Mello was staying in and, after Mello carefully examined Matt and made sure he had no spying devices planted, talked through Mello's plan. Matt found the idea of catching Kira alone rather daunting but thought that if that meant he wasn't stuck in the orphanage and he was with Mello, it was worth it.

Matt soon felt like they were not friends anymore though, but rather colleagues. Everything felt quite dry and stiff. Matt tried to act relaxed, but it only annoyed Mello. He didn't want to get distracted from his goals, but also he kept feeling certain things which he hoped he wasn't feeling.

He denied everything. He thought maybe he just missed his best friend and now that Matt is here, he is... overjoyed. Mello didn't want to admit this. He can't miss someone that much. However, he soon fell into one of his regular pits of desperate overthinking, whereby he would question everything and suffer in silence after suddenly becoming very aware of his own existence. He started dissecting his emotions and feelings, especially those towards Matt.

He understood that what he felt at Wammy's was a crush. But that was a while back! He is older now. He is different.

Mellodramattic Headcannons: Part 1

Finally. I am sorry for it taking me 2 months. Thank you for the patience and the enthusiasm.

I will be posting it bit by bit. Drama and suspense.

Not the usual list of headcannons perhaps but I tried my best.

Matt was special.

Mello never had a friend like that before. It seemed that nothing Mello did could offend Matt, and that magnetised Mello in a way. Matt put up with him. Matt wasn't scared of him. Matt talked to him. Matt joked with him.

Matt was really damn funny, Mello thought.

There was also another problem. Mello, having been brought up in a Catholic environment, had an unpleasant feeling he was doing something mortally wrong. He hated this constant background noise. This didn't use to be like this. Something was wrong with him. 

Strangely enough, he did not have the same feeling about, say, being disrespectful. That was just something he did and it didn't affect him.

Mello was praying a lot, something he hadn't done for a long time out of his own accord. If he was sinning by loving Matt, God could cleanse him, right?

Yet, the feelings persisted.

Then one night, as Mello was praying, he felt a strange lightness in his chest. God could only cleanse him of his sins. Love is not a sin. Mello was free.

He was unusually peaceful that night.

And then Mello sat by Matt again, he talked to him and laughed with him and everything was back to normal again. Matt was slightly confused. Mello never explained anything about his behaviour.

(I know that officially Mello and Matt reunited in 2009, but because this isn't a big part of the plot of Death Note, in my heart they reunited earlier.)

Near is now the successor of L, Mello is leaving Wammy's House and Matt is sitting on his bed, feeling very disoriented. Wammy's seemed unbearably empty without Mello. Quiet and boring.

Matt buried himself in video games. Matt also started regularly nicking cigarettes from one of the teachers. He quite unsuccessfully tried smoking before with Mello, but this time he was doing it for real. The teacher seemed to either not notice or not bother. Matt was disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Matt did research. He spent a lot of nights under the blanket with his computer listening for footsteps and digging through private transit records. It took long enough for Matt to start thinking this project was a waste of time.

It paid off though. He finally had a very vague idea where of Mello was.

Mello, of course, also missed Matt. He didn't even say goodbye properly. He just shoved some of his belongings in a bag, yelling at Matt to let go of him and to go away and suck it up and deal with it, and left. Mello himself could not suck it up and deal with it. He cried a lot. He felt free and that made him happy, but he, despite not wanting to, missed the stability that came with Wammy's and he missed his Matt.

Matt was having thoughts about running away.

The idea attracted him immensely: it sounded like a fun adventure and that way he could meet Mello again. However, the idea equally terrified him. Matt didn't really want to move and think and make decisions.

Wammy's was safe. But also steadily more and more lonely and difficult to navigate through.

So he set upon running away. He decided that if he was thinking about it so much, it meant he wanted it.

One night Matt went through the gate of Wammy's House into the big world.

This was a very new experience for him. Matt never slept outside on a bench before. He was very happy that he was out of Wammy's, but he was also very scared that Mello would move and Matt's efforts would go to dogs.

Matt was in a supermarket. Some way away he saw a blond head bobbing among the shelves. He, of course, could not ignore that, so he casually slid by the person, who sharply turned his head towards Matt and ensured to drown him in a waterfall of swearing.

Mello seemed not at all happy about seeing Matt. He said he wanted to break free from the past and start over again. He didn't want anyone from his past life. He didn't want dependence. He wanted to be alone. Matt had to go back to where he came from. Matt was a really big idiot for doing this incredibly stupid thing, according to Mello.

Despite saying that, a part of Mello was overjoyed at seeing Matt's eager face again. His friend and his anchor. Mello established certain connections now but, of course, none were as strong as that between him and Matt. He missed friendship.

Yet Mello didn't want to show these thoughts on the matter, so put a plan before Matt. If Matt stays, he must be quiet and inconspicuous, helping around and doing what Mello said was necessary. If he doesn't want to do that, he had to march straight back to Wammy's House.

He first had to explain to Matt his goal. They went over to the little room Mello was staying in and, after Mello carefully examined Matt and made sure he had no spying devices planted, talked through Mello's plan. Matt found the idea of catching Kira alone rather daunting but thought that if that meant he wasn't stuck in the orphanage and he was with Mello, it was worth it.

Mellodramattic Headcannons: Part 1

Finally. I am sorry for it taking me 2 months. Thank you for the patience and the enthusiasm.

I will be posting it bit by bit. Drama and suspense.

Not the usual list of headcannons perhaps but I tried my best.

Matt was special.

Mello never had a friend like that before. It seemed that nothing Mello did could offend Matt, and that magnetised Mello in a way. Matt put up with him. Matt wasn't scared of him. Matt talked to him. Matt joked with him.

Matt was really damn funny, Mello thought.

There was also another problem. Mello, having been brought up in a Catholic environment, had an unpleasant feeling he was doing something mortally wrong. He hated this constant background noise. This didn't use to be like this. Something was wrong with him. 

Strangely enough, he did not have the same feeling about, say, being disrespectful. That was just something he did and it didn't affect him.

Mello was praying a lot, something he hadn't done for a long time out of his own accord. If he was sinning by loving Matt, God could cleanse him, right?

Yet, the feelings persisted.

Then one night, as Mello was praying, he felt a strange lightness in his chest. God could only cleanse him of his sins. Love is not a sin. Mello was free.

He was unusually peaceful that night.

And then Mello sat by Matt again, he talked to him and laughed with him and everything was back to normal again. Matt was slightly confused. Mello never explained anything about his behaviour.

(I know that officially Mello and Matt reunited in 2009, but because this isn't a big part of the plot of Death Note, in my heart they reunited earlier.)

Near is now the successor of L, Mello is leaving Wammy's House and Matt is sitting on his bed, feeling very disoriented. Wammy's seemed unbearably empty without Mello. Quiet and boring.

Matt buried himself in video games. Matt also started regularly nicking cigarettes from one of the teachers. He quite unsuccessfully tried smoking before with Mello, but this time he was doing it for real. The teacher seemed to either not notice or not bother. Matt was disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Matt did research. He spent a lot of nights under the blanket with his computer listening for footsteps and digging through private transit records. It took long enough for Matt to start thinking this project was a waste of time.

It paid off though. He finally had a very vague idea where of Mello was.

Mello, of course, also missed Matt. He didn't even say goodbye properly. He just shoved some of his belongings in a bag, yelling at Matt to let go of him and to go away and suck it up and deal with it, and left. Mello himself could not suck it up and deal with it. He cried a lot. He felt free and that made him happy, but he, despite not wanting to, missed the stability that came with Wammy's and he missed his Matt.

Matt was having thoughts about running away.

The idea attracted him immensely: it sounded like a fun adventure and that way he could meet Mello again. However, the idea equally terrified him. Matt didn't really want to move and think and make decisions.

Wammy's was safe. But also steadily more and more lonely and difficult to navigate through.

So he set upon running away. He decided that if he was thinking about it so much, it meant he wanted it.

One night Matt went through the gate of Wammy's House into the big world.

This was a very new experience for him. Matt never slept outside on a bench before. He was very happy that he was out of Wammy's, but he was also very scared that Mello would move and Matt's efforts would go to dogs.

Mellodramattic Headcannons: Part 1

Finally. I am sorry for it taking me 2 months. Thank you for the patience and the enthusiasm.

I will be posting it bit by bit. Drama and suspense.

Not the usual list of headcannons perhaps but I tried my best.

Matt was special.

Mello never had a friend like that before. It seemed that nothing Mello did could offend Matt, and that magnetised Mello in a way. Matt put up with him. Matt wasn't scared of him. Matt talked to him. Matt joked with him.

Matt was really damn funny, Mello thought.

There was also another problem. Mello, having been brought up in a Catholic environment, had an unpleasant feeling he was doing something mortally wrong. He hated this constant background noise. This didn't use to be like this. Something was wrong with him. 

Strangely enough, he did not have the same feeling about, say, being disrespectful. That was just something he did and it didn't affect him.

Mello was praying a lot, something he hadn't done for a long time out of his own accord. If he was sinning by loving Matt, God could cleanse him, right?

Yet, the feelings persisted.

Then one night, as Mello was praying, he felt a strange lightness in his chest. God could only cleanse him of his sins. Love is not a sin. Mello was free.

He was unusually peaceful that night.

And then Mello sat by Matt again, he talked to him and laughed with him and everything was back to normal again. Matt was slightly confused. Mello never explained anything about his behaviour.

(I know that officially Mello and Matt reunited in 2009, but because this isn't a big part of the plot of Death Note, in my heart they reunited earlier.)

Near is now the successor of L, Mello is leaving Wammy's House and Matt is sitting on his bed, feeling very disoriented. Wammy's seemed unbearably empty without Mello. Quiet and boring.

Matt buried himself in video games. Matt also started regularly nicking cigarettes from one of the teachers. He quite unsuccessfully tried smoking before with Mello, but this time he was doing it for real. The teacher seemed to either not notice or not bother. Matt was disappointed and relieved at the same time.

Matt did research. He spent a lot of nights under the blanket with his computer listening for footsteps and digging through private transit records. It took long enough for Matt to start thinking this project was a waste of time.

It paid off though. He finally had a very vague idea where of Mello was.

Mello, of course, also missed Matt. He didn't even say goodbye properly. He just shoved some of his belongings in a bag, yelling at Matt to let go of him and to go away and suck it up and deal with it, and left. Mello himself could not suck it up and deal with it. He cried a lot. He felt free and that made him happy, but he, despite not wanting to, missed the stability that came with Wammy's and he missed his Matt.

Mellodramattic Headcannons: Part 1

Finally. I am sorry for it taking me 2 months. Thank you for the patience and the enthusiasm.

I will be posting it bit by bit. Drama and suspense.

Not the usual list of headcannons perhaps but I tried my best.

Matt was special.

Mello never had a friend like that before. It seemed that nothing Mello did could offend Matt, and that magnetised Mello in a way. Matt put up with him. Matt wasn't scared of him. Matt talked to him. Matt joked with him.

Matt was really damn funny, Mello thought.

There was also another problem. Mello, having been brought up in a Catholic environment, had an unpleasant feeling he was doing something mortally wrong. He hated this constant background noise. This didn't use to be like this. Something was wrong with him. 

Strangely enough, he did not have the same feeling about, say, being disrespectful. That was just something he did and it didn't affect him.

Mello was praying a lot, something he hadn't done for a long time out of his own accord. If he was sinning by loving Matt, God could cleanse him, right?

Yet, the feelings persisted.

Then one night, as Mello was praying, he felt a strange lightness in his chest. God could only cleanse him of his sins. Love is not a sin. Mello was free.

He was unusually peaceful that night.

And then Mello sat by Matt again, he talked to him and laughed with him and everything was back to normal again. Matt was slightly confused. Mello never explained anything about his behaviour.

Mellodramattic Headcannons: Part 1

Finally. I am sorry for it taking me 2 months. Thank you for the patience and the enthusiasm.

I will be posting it bit by bit. Drama and suspense.

Not the usual list of headcannons perhaps but I tried my best.

Matt was special.

Mello never had a friend like that before. It seemed that nothing Mello did could offend Matt, and that magnetised Mello in a way. Matt put up with him. Matt wasn't scared of him. Matt talked to him. Matt joked with him.

Matt was really damn funny, Mello thought.