Class Quotes

do you pee pee poo pooO? like eveery day??

one time i was talking with my english teacher and she asked me what my dad did for a living and my brain did a factory reset so i blanked out. instead of just telling her i forgot like a normal human being i panicked and said "oh i forgot what he does exactly, but he works in a warehouse late at night" and she asked me "[last name], is your at-home life okay?"

I once heard a passing kid in the hall say, "Well, at least I HAVE eyebrows" in a passive aggressive tone to his friend. I never got context.

One time, my friend and i were talking and she went "oh shit, its a school bathroom oŕğý", it was not.

this one was from last year and i give my neighbour the credit for passing me with the information:

This one time, there was a dead fly in the window sill and my friend just went "I'll eat that for 30 bucks" and we agreed and he shoved it into his mouth just as the teacher came and he couldn't spit it out nor could he swallow it, so had to sit there for 5 entire minutes with a dead fly in his mouth while the rest of the class silently died of laughter. Said friend also drank iodine to prove there was starch in saliva in the same day and his mouth was stained purple for the rest of the day.

"You need to keep a good balance of salt and water in your body to stay hydrated." "so what im hearing is. drink salt water"

In the cafeteria at our old school (graduated now), milks are in a plastic crate and you're not supposed to grab more than one milk. This is important, because I grabbed a full crate, about three gallons of milk, and just left with it. Once I sat down, i was immediately asked about the milks. "Hey, Jane, aren't you lactose intolerant? Why would you grabs a crate of milk? Also just why?" To which I immediately responded "I will kill your god and fill his bones with milk"

One of my friends is quoted as saying “these are ~family heirloom~ brain cells” and I just think you should know

Is Barbie the second coming of Jesus?

I thought a friend messaged me, but Jack Manifold just went live.

*takes sip of tea*

One of the boys in my English class asked to use the bathroom, he comes back not even a minute later slamming open the door, and shouts "Someone's taken the door off the big stall again!" We had been in school for two months and this is was the third time the stall door had been ripped from its hinges. Nobody knows where the doors are and this happened last year

*accidentally unmutes* "so obviously then we stopped making out and-" "katherine we don't want to hear about you making out"