I've talked about this before but drink whatever you want to hydrate yourself. Water, juice, milk, hot tea, bottled tea, flavored water, Gatorade, lemonade, homemade electrolyte drinks, sparkling water, etc. Buy cirkul catridges or electrolyte packets, infuse your water with fruits or herbs or whatever, make seven smoothies a day, as long as it gets liquid in your body. ALL of that provides hydration because it's all made from water and despite some very persistent myths, it takes A LOT of sugar to cancel out water.
If you don't like plain water, and a lot of people don't and that is FINE, then it is a million times better to find beverages that you will actually drink than to be dehydrated because you keep trying to force yourself to drink something you don't like.
Obligatory disclaimer that this does NOT apply to alcohol. Another less serious disclaimer that caffeine is more complicated; coffee and energy drinks and the like will still hydrate you to a degree but less than non-caffeinated beverages and you should also be drinking other things too. Only getting your water alongside caffeine, especially if you don't eat a whole lot, can seriously fuck you up both mentally and physically. No, I'm definitely not speaking from years of experience, why do you ask?
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"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a juryâalso traditionally of twelveâto arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will
the ADHD writer's guide to actually finishing a draft (no, seriously) đ
okay, tumblr, writers... we need to TALK about how to actually finish a damn draft when your executive functioning decided to pack its bags and leave for a permanent vacation in the bahamas.
i'm not here to give you that basic "just set a timer!" advice that makes me want to throw my laptop into the sun. we all know those productivity hacks that work for neurotypicals make us want to scream into the void. (been there, screamed that.)
so here's the ACTUAL guide from someone who's written three novels while her brain was actively trying to sabotage her the entire time.
FIRST: accept that linear writing is a capitalist construct designed to torture us.
i'm serious. whoever decided writers should start at chapter 1 and proceed neatly to THE END clearly didn't have dopamine playing hide-and-seek in their prefrontal cortex.
write whatever scene has your brain chemicals SINGING today. that climactic fight scene that's six chapters away? the tender moment between your characters that happens in the middle? WRITE IT NOW while your brain is actually interested. i have finished entire novels by writing them in chunks and stitching them together like the beautiful frankenstein's monster they are.
SECOND: the 10-minute lie (that actually works???)
tell yourself you're only going to write for 10 minutes. that's it. no pressure. your adhd brain can handle anything for 10 minutes, right? the secret is that once you start, momentum becomes your best friend. sometimes you'll actually stop at 10 minutes (congrats, you still wrote something!) but often you'll look up and realize it's been two hours and you've written 2,000 words. and yes i've seen this a lot, like everywhere, where they tell you "set a timer for 5, and by the time you realize it's 2 hours" i've seen this many times before, and it actually works. at first i thought it didn't but boy, i was wrong.
THIRD: use your hyperfixation powers for good, not evil.
we all know that adhd comes with the superpower of becoming obsessed with random things for unpredictable amounts of time. WEAPONIZE THIS. create artificial urgency around your project. tell people about your deadline. make elaborate aesthetic pinterest boards. create a spotify playlist that you only listen to while writing this specific project. trick your brain into making your WIP the shiny new hyperfixation.
FOURTH: body-doubling saved my writing career and it can save yours too.
find another writer friend (or any friend who needs to do focused work) and sit together - virtually or physically - while you both work. something about having another human witnessing your work process bypasses the executive dysfunction. i swear it's actual magic. discord writing sprints, zoom sessions with cameras off but mics on - whatever works.
FIFTH: embrace the chaos of your natural writing cycle.
some days you'll write 5,000 words in a frenzy at 3am. other days you'll stare at the document for an hour and write "the." BOTH ARE VALID WRITING DAYS. the only consistency we need is returning to the document, not some arbitrary daily word count.
SIXTH: create external accountability that doesn't make you want to die.
deadlines from publishers? great. deadlines you set for yourself? your brain laughs and says "or what?" find the sweet spot - maybe it's a writing buddy you check in with, maybe it's a public progress tracker, maybe it's promising your sister you'll take her to dinner when you finish a chapter.
SEVENTH: the frankendraft approach.
your first draft DOES NOT need to be good, coherent, or even make sense. it just needs to exist. leave yourself notes like [FIGURE OUT HOW SHE GETS FROM THE CASTLE TO THE BEACH LATER] and keep moving. your adhd brain will thank you for not getting stuck in research rabbit holes for six hours.
EIGHTH: find your optimal writing environment through shameless trial and error.
maybe you need complete silence. maybe you need to be in a coffee shop with specific ambient noise. maybe you need to write standing up. maybe you need to dictate your novel while pacing around your apartment. there is no wrong way to get the words out.
i personally write best when i'm slightly uncomfortable (weird, i know) so i often end up writing while sitting on my kitchen floor with my laptop balanced on a chair. whatever works, bestie. a finished messy draft is infinitely more valuable than the perfect novel still trapped in your head. your adhd brain is simultaneously your greatest challenge and your greatest asset as a writer. the connections you make, the unique perspectives, the creativity - all of that comes from the same place as the struggles.
you've got this. now go write something, even if it's just for 10 minutes. i believe in you. ⨠-rin t.
⌠A free (and actually helpful) guide to leveling up your first 10 pages âŚIf you're unsure whether your opening is â¨doing enough⨠to hook re
A gothic prompt pack for writers who love cursed universities, secret societies, and scholarly rot.â Write the Darkness âA 75-prompt horror
i kind of wish tumblr didnât have the habit of tagging posts that contain possible triggers for a specific phobia with just the name of that phobia because then when i go to that tag as i have the relevant phobia itâs just full of, you know, triggering content. instead of discussion about the phobia i was hoping to see
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I love you, people who are tokophobic. Scared of pregnancies or becoming pregnant yourselves or at least the ideas of these -- whether you think about it, or someone talks, asks, suggests or jokes about it in any way, shape or form. Even if you're infertile or not. Even if it doesn't have to do with you.
I see you. I love you. You are loved, and there will be someone out there who will love and understand you.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
Navigating gender dysphoria? Be heard and be counted in the science.
Join our confidential, cross-country study of 18-25 year olds to tell your story, challenge preconceptions, and have YOUR experience reflected in the science on queer youth | ayagdos.org
I didn't read the entire context of this because I don't want to be mad then I already am considering this is happening during PRIDE MONTH, BUT IT SEEMS BAD ENOUGH FOR ME TO BOOST THIS, SO DO NOT TAKE THIS!!! I DIDN'T TAKE IT EITHER, SO THAT SHOULD BE PLENTY OF WARNING SIGNS TO NOT PARTICIPATE IN THIS!!!
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so essentially thereâs this cool horse drawn into the hills in england made out of chalk and itâs like 3,000 years old.
people carved trenches 3,000 years ago and filled them with chalk in the shape of a horse but whatâs interesting is that if you fail to maintain the horse by adding new chalk regularly, it will disappear. for 3,000 years, weâve been filling in chalk in this horse so it doesnât disappear.
weâll never know what the purpose of the horse was originally. weâll never know if it had ritual or spiritual significance or if it was just art. but we do know that people maintained it then, and, even though the meaning of the horse has long been lost to time, we continue to maintain it now.
the people who made this horse are long dead, but they live through us still, donât you think?
(Check out sex & gender terms here [link], gendered attraction terms here [link], and attraction types, aspec identities, & other orientations here [link.])
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Singlehood: A situation where a person who desires a relationship is currently unpartnered.
Non-partnering/Nonamory/Agamy/Afidelity: A situation where a person does not desire any intimate relationship ever. This could be for any reason, such as personal preference, being aspec, religious reasons, mental health reasons, etc. They may refer to themself as Nonamorous/Agamous/Afidelitous.
Monogamy: An intimate relationship that is exclusive between two people. A person who exclusively desires monogamy would refer to themself as Monogamous.
Although monogamy is often used to refer to both unmarried and married couples, some people distinguish monoamory (an unmarried couple) from monogamy (a married couple.)
Ambiamory: A relationship that can be monogamous or polyamorous. A person who is fine with either monogamy or polyamory would refer to themself as Ambiamorous.
Syndeamory describes an ambiamorous person whose preferences for polyamory or monogamy are based on their partner's preferences (ie; if their partner prefers polyamory, they will prefer that too.)
Monoflexible: A person/relationship that is usually monogamous, but on rare occasion becomes polyamorous or nonamorous.
Polyflexible: A person/relationship that is usually polyamorous, but on rare occasion becomes monogamous or nonamorous.
Fluidamory: A person/relationship that is fluid or fluctuating between multiple different amory/gamy categories (ie; fluctuating between nonamory, monogamy, & polyamory, fluctuating between multiple different forms of polyamory, etc.) A person who desires fluidamory would refer to themself as Fluidamorous.
Mutoamory is a subtype of fluidamory, where a personâs relationship orientation changes based on the scenario or circumstances (ie; a person who usually has the same relationship orientation, but becomes syndeamorous during vacations.)
Virtuamory is a subtype of mutoamory, describing a person who desires polyamory for online relationships, but is monogamous or nonamorous for offline relationships - if they were to take their online relationships offline, they would lose interest in it, or find it too difficult to maintain.Â
Divisuamory/Diviamory: A person who has different amory/gamy desires depending on the attraction type. For example, being monogamous towards romantic relationships, ambiamorous towards senseships, polyamorous towards QPRs, etc. A person who experiences divisuamory would refer to themself as Divisuamorous/Diviamorous.
Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM): An umbrella term for people/relationships which include the desire for more than one consensual partnership. This includes ambiamory, some forms of monoflexibility and polyflexibility, some forms of fluidamory, some forms of divisuamory, and polyamory.
Relationship Anarchy (RA): A person who believes that relationships shouldn't be given ârulesâ by society (aside from rules of consent and ethical treatment), and that the only rules that matter in a relationship are the ones given by the people involved within it. Relationship anarchists support all forms of atypical relationships. Some people identify as a relationship anarchist if they wish not to further label their relationship orientation, similar to how some people use the term âqueerâ if they wish not to further label their attraction.
Polyamory: A person/relationship that includes/desires more than one partner. A person who desires polyamory would refer to themself as polyamorous.
Polygamy describes the marriage of more than two people, and a person who is married to multiple people may refer to themself as Polygamous.
While a relationship between two people is known as a "couple", a relationship between more than two people is known as a "polycule."
Paramour is a word to describe a polyamorous personâs partner. Metamour is a word to describe the partner of a partner. For example, Tomas is dating Miram, and Miram is dating Lora - this means Miram is Tomasâs paramour, and Lora is Tomasâs metamour.Â
Multiamory describes a polyamorous relationship that is a complex mix of attraction or structures. For example, a polygynous polyaffectionate octad in an egalitarian paxamorous relationship that participates in swinging. Another example would be a full triad where A & B have a senseship, B & C have a casual relationship, and C & A have a romantic & sexual relationship.
Polyamory labelled by attraction:
[PT: Polyamory labelled by attraction:]
Polyamsensual: A polyamorous senseship.
Polyerosous: A polyamorous intimaship and/or casual relationship.
Polyaffectionate/Polyplatonic: An umbrella term for people who have polyamorous passionate friendships, QPRs, and/or alterous relationship. Polyamalterous is a subset describing specifically polyamorous alterous relationships.
Polyamory labelled by gender:
[PT: Polyamory labelled by gender:]
Polygyny: A man (or mingender person) who is in a relationship with multiple women (or fingender people), and is not dating anyone of a strictly non-feminine gender.
Polyandry: A woman (or fingender person) who is in a relationship with multiple men (or mingender people), and is not dating anyone of a strictly non-masculine gender.
Polysapphic: A person (usually a fingender person) who is in a queerfeminine or genderqueer relationship with multiple people. This often describes a woman (or fingender person) who is in a relationship with multiple women (or fingender people).
Polyachillean: A person (usually a mingender person) who is in a queermasculine or genderqueer relationship with multiple people. This often describes a man (or mingender person) who is in a relationship with multiple men (or mingender people).
Polyduaric: A binary-gendered person who is in a relationship with multiple other binary-gendered people.
Polybinitian: A binary person who is in a relationship with multiple enben, and is not dating anyone of a strictly binary gender.
Polytrixic: An enban who is in a relationship with multiple queerfeminine (or otherwise genderqueer) people. This often describes an enban who is in a relationship with multiple women (or fingender people.)
Polytoric: An enban who is in a relationship with multiple queermasculine (or otherwise genderqueer) people. This often describes an enban who is in a relationship with multiple men (or mingender people.)
Polytiric/Polyordrisian: An enban who is in a relationship with multiple binary-gendered people and/or a mix of mingender & fingender people.
Polyenbian: An enban who is in a relationship with multiple enben (or genderqueer binary people).
Duogamy: A person who is dating (only) two people, each with different types of genders (ie; a person in a relationship with a man and a woman, a person who is in a relationship with a neutrois and androgyne person, etc.)
Polyamory labelled by number:
[PT: Polyamory labelled by number:]
Triad: A relationship with three members. A Full Triad is a triad where all three members are dating. A V Triad/Vee Triad is a relationship where one person is dating two people, but those two people arenât dating each other. A T Triad/Tee Triad is a relationship where all three members are dating, however if one member were to breakup, the other two would breakup as well due to the relationship feeling incomplete.Â
Quad: A relationship with four members. A Full Quad is a quad where all four members are dating. A Complex Quad/Triple Triad is a relationship that is almost a full quad, however two members are not dating each other. Plus One Polyamory/Exterior Angled Polyamory is a quad where three members are all dating each other (forming a triad), however one member of the triad has an additional partner (who is not dating the other two), giving the relationship a fourth member. Arrow Polyamory is a quad where one person is dating three people, but none of those three people are dating each other. Double V Polyamory is a quad where two V triads connect. N Polyamory/Fluid Chain Polyamory is a quad where two couples are connected by one member of each couple dating each other.
Pentad: A relationship with five members.
Heptad: A relationship with six members.
Septad: A relationship with seven members.
Octad: A relationship with eight members.
Nonad: A relationship with nine members.
Decad: A relationship with ten members.Â
Ultrad: A relationship with more than ten members.Â
Polyamory labelled by partner/logistical dynamics:
[PT: Polyamory labelled by partner/logistical dynamics:]
Kitchen Table Polyamory/KTP: A structure where all of the paramours or metamours have close relationships, and frequently interact. The metaphor is that people in a KTP relationship would âall gather around a dinner table to have dinner together on a frequent basis.â
Garden Party Polyamory/GTP: A structure where the paramours or metamours interact with each other less frequently than with KTP, but are still relatively well-acquainted. The metaphor used is that people in a GTP relationship would âall meet up during special occasions (garden party, neighborhood grill party, birthday party, etc), but wouldnât necessarily go out of their way to interact with one another aside from that.â There might be a few close relationships, but not enough to constitute a KTP. Â
Parallel Polyamory: A structure where the paramours do not discuss the relationships of metamours with each other, but still know of the metamours existence and baseline information (ie; age, name, pronouns, etc.) They may also be close with their partnerâs metamours, but do not discuss the relationships. For example, Miram is dating Tomas, Olivia, and Lora - Tomas is friends with Olivia and Lora, however he prefers not to hear about Olivia & Loraâs romantic or sexual involvements with Miram.
Egalitarian Polyamory: A structure where all paramours and metamours have equal control over relationship decisions (finances, scheduling, etc) and equal time/effort spent together.
Hierarchical Polyamory: A structure where different paramours/metamours have different âranksâ in the relationship, and are assigned different levels of responsibility and effort. This is sorted into three tiers - primary, secondary, and tertiary. People can have one or multiple partners in each category - it just depends on the individual (ie; a person who has five primary partners, one secondary partner, and two tertiary partners.)Â
Primary Partner describes a partner with the highest priority. They are usually nesting partners and often have the most control of finances and decision making for the polycule.
Secondary Partner describes a partner with a lower degree of involvement than a primary partner. How low that degree is depends on whether there are also tertiary partners involved.
Tertiary Partner describes a partner with a lower degree of involvement than a secondary partner. Â
A Competitive Relationship is a hierarchical relationship where the ranks (primary, secondary, or tertiary) are determined based on a frequent (ie; monthly) competition. This competition is done in good fun (ie; a building competition in Minecraft, a board game, a water gun fight, etc), and there are some pre-established rules for the winners (ie; âdonât overspend our shared money.â)
Solo Polyamory/Free Relations: A polyamorous relationship where a person has intimate relationships with others, while prioritizing oneself. It may be described as âmaking oneself the primary partner, and all other partners are secondary or tertiary.â Solo polyamorists donât desire a relationship-centric life; they may not wish to share homes or finances with their partners. They still tend to their partnersâ emotional needs, and do not neglect them; they just live a self-focused life (which all partners are aware of before joining the relationship.) Some solo polyamorists refer to themselves as Singleish.
Equiamory/Pluriamory/Synamory/Polyfidelity/Polyexclusivity/Polyfaithful: A structure where every member of the relationship is equal (egalitarian) and are all dating each other. There are no metamours, only paramours. An equiamorous relationship might be called a Pluriad/Group Relationship.
Paxamory: A structure where a person desires for only a few partners, and for their partners to either only date each other and/or only have a select few metamours. They wish for their polycule to be small, and to close the relationship once everyone has selected their few partners. It could be egalitarian or hierarchical.Â
Rotationship: A polyamorous relationship where four (or more) people regularly swap out the housing locations of partners on a scheduled or semi-scheduled basis. The swap can be even or odd, depending on the number of partners. It can be done for partners who live close by, or partners who are long distance. If the partners live close by, they can still meet up for dates or hangouts; it is simply their housing that changes.
Reproamory: A polyamorous relationship where a person starts a polycule or adds a new partner to their polycule, for the purpose of reproduction. This could be due to the previously established partners having incompatible sexes for reproduction, due to infertility issues with previously established partners, etc.
Line Relationship: A polyamorous setup, where new younger partners are added into the relationship whenever the older partners age. The oldest partners may not date the youngest partners, depending on how large the age gap is (however, the line ONLY includes people who are 18+.) Line relationships typically start as a way to continue the polycule through generations.
For example, there are three partners - one is 53, one is 45, and one is 38. The 38 year old may begin dating a 30-year-old, the 30-year-old may start dating a 25-year-old, and the 25-year-old may start dating a 21-year-old. The oldest members of the group may refuse to date anyone younger than the 30-year-old, but still respect the youngest members as their metamours.
Open Relationship: A setup where people in a committed relationship (typically a couple, however there could be more than two members) decide to allow one another to date or engage intimately with people outside of their relationship. This could be done for exploratory purposes, for reproductive purposes, due to one partner having a lower libido or having different limitations in attraction, and/or due to one partner being monogamous while the other is not.
Geographical Non-Monogamy describes people who temporarily open their relationship (specifically open it to undedicated relations, such as hookups) when they are physically apart from their partners (ie; on vacation, on a work trip, etc) - once they are physically reunited, the relationship is closed again. This may be considered a form of mutoamory.
Swinging describes people who have a purely sexual open relationship, to engage in sexual social activities, sex work, or reproductive activities. Some examples of this include the following:
- A couple who goes to sex clubs and hooks up with people there.
- A quad who occasionally invites a random fifth person to hookup with them for a one night stand.
- A triad where one or multiple of the partners are sex workers, who regularly have sex with people outside of the relationship.
- Two (or more) couples who swap partners to have sex with. This may turn into a sexual rotationship, if it is done on a scheduled basis.
- A couple who invites a third person to have sex with for the purpose of reproduction, or two (or more) couples who swap partners for the purpose of reproduction. This differs from reproamory because they do not form a polycule together afterwards.
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just saw a 'comments' tab on someones blog you know where the following and likes tabs would be if enabled and it was just showing all the replies theyve made on peoples posts. this is fascinating when did this feature come out
if you've made replies on posts there is now a tab on your blog showing every post youve replied to and your reply.
if this is not what you want, either go to your blog and click comments and disable it from there or just go to your individual blogs setting pages. just change it from blue to grey if you dont want everyone to see your replies AND the post you're replying to
PLEASE BE ADVISED that it is set to disabled for blogs that have not made any replies but it will turn ON if you reply with that blog in the future.! i just tested it with my main, which was greyed out but it turned on the moment i left a test reply
figured i'd get the word out bc i have not seen a single mention of this and i'm sure there are plenty of people who maybe comment on things they don't want on display for everyone to see on their blog lol. you can still look at your replies with it toggled off just no one else can, like locking the following and likes list
so for some reason this feature was actually announced on the tumblr engineering blog. interesting choice not to reblog it to the staff or tumblr blog, esp considering they asked for user input on how to implement it, but i suppose considering the response to the last update maybe the replies would be too overwhelming...
so couple of clarifications. comments are disabled as default for primary blogs that have their likes disabled. they are seemingly enabled for all other blogs that have replied to posts
posts you comment on may show on your followers 'for you' page if you leave your replies publically available. they may, in the future, show in on your followers dashboard if your follower goes to their dash settings and enables this. apparently, if your likes are enabled, your followers can already see those on the dash if they've gone into preferences and selected to do so, which I was unaware of, and that seems to be disabled at default, but it's possible i disabled it previously and forgot about it ig