Clarys

If you don't like plain water, and a lot of people don't and that is FINE, then it is a million times better to find beverages that you will actually drink than to be dehydrated because you keep trying to force yourself to drink something you don't like.

okay, tumblr, writers... we need to TALK about how to actually finish a damn draft when your executive functioning decided to pack its bags and leave for a permanent vacation in the bahamas.

i'm not here to give you that basic "just set a timer!" advice that makes me want to throw my laptop into the sun. we all know those productivity hacks that work for neurotypicals make us want to scream into the void. (been there, screamed that.)

so here's the ACTUAL guide from someone who's written three novels while her brain was actively trying to sabotage her the entire time.

FIRST: accept that linear writing is a capitalist construct designed to torture us.

i'm serious. whoever decided writers should start at chapter 1 and proceed neatly to THE END clearly didn't have dopamine playing hide-and-seek in their prefrontal cortex.

write whatever scene has your brain chemicals SINGING today. that climactic fight scene that's six chapters away? the tender moment between your characters that happens in the middle? WRITE IT NOW while your brain is actually interested. i have finished entire novels by writing them in chunks and stitching them together like the beautiful frankenstein's monster they are.

SECOND: the 10-minute lie (that actually works???)

tell yourself you're only going to write for 10 minutes. that's it. no pressure. your adhd brain can handle anything for 10 minutes, right? the secret is that once you start, momentum becomes your best friend. sometimes you'll actually stop at 10 minutes (congrats, you still wrote something!) but often you'll look up and realize it's been two hours and you've written 2,000 words. and yes i've seen this a lot, like everywhere, where they tell you "set a timer for 5, and by the time you realize it's 2 hours" i've seen this many times before, and it actually works. at first i thought it didn't but boy, i was wrong.

THIRD: use your hyperfixation powers for good, not evil.

we all know that adhd comes with the superpower of becoming obsessed with random things for unpredictable amounts of time. WEAPONIZE THIS. create artificial urgency around your project. tell people about your deadline. make elaborate aesthetic pinterest boards. create a spotify playlist that you only listen to while writing this specific project. trick your brain into making your WIP the shiny new hyperfixation.

FOURTH: body-doubling saved my writing career and it can save yours too.

find another writer friend (or any friend who needs to do focused work) and sit together - virtually or physically - while you both work. something about having another human witnessing your work process bypasses the executive dysfunction. i swear it's actual magic. discord writing sprints, zoom sessions with cameras off but mics on - whatever works.

FIFTH: embrace the chaos of your natural writing cycle.

some days you'll write 5,000 words in a frenzy at 3am. other days you'll stare at the document for an hour and write "the." BOTH ARE VALID WRITING DAYS. the only consistency we need is returning to the document, not some arbitrary daily word count.

SIXTH: create external accountability that doesn't make you want to die.

deadlines from publishers? great. deadlines you set for yourself? your brain laughs and says "or what?" find the sweet spot - maybe it's a writing buddy you check in with, maybe it's a public progress tracker, maybe it's promising your sister you'll take her to dinner when you finish a chapter.

SEVENTH: the frankendraft approach.

your first draft DOES NOT need to be good, coherent, or even make sense. it just needs to exist. leave yourself notes like [FIGURE OUT HOW SHE GETS FROM THE CASTLE TO THE BEACH LATER] and keep moving. your adhd brain will thank you for not getting stuck in research rabbit holes for six hours.

EIGHTH: find your optimal writing environment through shameless trial and error.

maybe you need complete silence. maybe you need to be in a coffee shop with specific ambient noise. maybe you need to write standing up. maybe you need to dictate your novel while pacing around your apartment. there is no wrong way to get the words out.

i personally write best when i'm slightly uncomfortable (weird, i know) so i often end up writing while sitting on my kitchen floor with my laptop balanced on a chair. whatever works, bestie. a finished messy draft is infinitely more valuable than the perfect novel still trapped in your head. your adhd brain is simultaneously your greatest challenge and your greatest asset as a writer. the connections you make, the unique perspectives, the creativity - all of that comes from the same place as the struggles.

you've got this. now go write something, even if it's just for 10 minutes. i believe in you. ✨ -rin t.

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

Navigating gender dysphoria? Be heard and be counted in the science.

[pt: DO NOT TAKE THIS SURVEY]

IT'S THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION

IT'S A TRAP IT'S A TRAP IT'S A TRAP

people carved trenches 3,000 years ago and filled them with chalk in the shape of a horse but what’s interesting is that if you fail to maintain the horse by adding new chalk regularly, it will disappear. for 3,000 years, we’ve been filling in chalk in this horse so it doesn’t disappear.

we’ll never know what the purpose of the horse was originally. we’ll never know if it had ritual or spiritual significance or if it was just art. but we do know that people maintained it then, and, even though the meaning of the horse has long been lost to time, we continue to maintain it now.

the people who made this horse are long dead, but they live through us still, don’t you think?

[PT: Relationship Orientations]

(Check out sex & gender terms here [link], gendered attraction terms here [link], and attraction types, aspec identities, & other orientations here [link.])

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Singlehood: A situation where a person who desires a relationship is currently unpartnered.

Non-partnering/Nonamory/Agamy/Afidelity: A situation where a person does not desire any intimate relationship ever. This could be for any reason, such as personal preference, being aspec, religious reasons, mental health reasons, etc. They may refer to themself as Nonamorous/Agamous/Afidelitous.

Monogamy: An intimate relationship that is exclusive between two people. A person who exclusively desires monogamy would refer to themself as Monogamous.

Although monogamy is often used to refer to both unmarried and married couples, some people distinguish monoamory (an unmarried couple) from monogamy (a married couple.)

Ambiamory: A relationship that can be monogamous or polyamorous. A person who is fine with either monogamy or polyamory would refer to themself as Ambiamorous.

Syndeamory describes an ambiamorous person whose preferences for polyamory or monogamy are based on their partner's preferences (ie; if their partner prefers polyamory, they will prefer that too.)

Monoflexible: A person/relationship that is usually monogamous, but on rare occasion becomes polyamorous or nonamorous.

Polyflexible: A person/relationship that is usually polyamorous, but on rare occasion becomes monogamous or nonamorous.

Fluidamory: A person/relationship that is fluid or fluctuating between multiple different amory/gamy categories (ie; fluctuating between nonamory, monogamy, & polyamory, fluctuating between multiple different forms of polyamory, etc.) A person who desires fluidamory would refer to themself as Fluidamorous.

Mutoamory is a subtype of fluidamory, where a person’s relationship orientation changes based on the scenario or circumstances (ie; a person who usually has the same relationship orientation, but becomes syndeamorous during vacations.)

Virtuamory is a subtype of mutoamory, describing a person who desires polyamory for online relationships, but is monogamous or nonamorous for offline relationships - if they were to take their online relationships offline, they would lose interest in it, or find it too difficult to maintain. 

Divisuamory/Diviamory: A person who has different amory/gamy desires depending on the attraction type. For example, being monogamous towards romantic relationships, ambiamorous towards senseships, polyamorous towards QPRs, etc. A person who experiences divisuamory would refer to themself as Divisuamorous/Diviamorous.

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM): An umbrella term for people/relationships which include the desire for more than one consensual partnership. This includes ambiamory, some forms of monoflexibility and polyflexibility, some forms of fluidamory, some forms of divisuamory, and polyamory.

Relationship Anarchy (RA): A person who believes that relationships shouldn't be given “rules” by society (aside from rules of consent and ethical treatment), and that the only rules that matter in a relationship are the ones given by the people involved within it. Relationship anarchists support all forms of atypical relationships. Some people identify as a relationship anarchist if they wish not to further label their relationship orientation, similar to how some people use the term “queer” if they wish not to further label their attraction.

Polyamory: A person/relationship that includes/desires more than one partner. A person who desires polyamory would refer to themself as polyamorous.

Polygamy describes the marriage of more than two people, and a person who is married to multiple people may refer to themself as Polygamous.

While a relationship between two people is known as a "couple", a relationship between more than two people is known as a "polycule."

Paramour is a word to describe a polyamorous person’s partner. Metamour is a word to describe the partner of a partner. For example, Tomas is dating Miram, and Miram is dating Lora - this means Miram is Tomas’s paramour, and Lora is Tomas’s metamour. 

Multiamory describes a polyamorous relationship that is a complex mix of attraction or structures. For example, a polygynous polyaffectionate octad in an egalitarian paxamorous relationship that participates in swinging. Another example would be a full triad where A & B have a senseship, B & C have a casual relationship, and C & A have a romantic & sexual relationship.

if you've made replies on posts there is now a tab on your blog showing every post youve replied to and your reply.

if this is not what you want, either go to your blog and click comments and disable it from there or just go to your individual blogs setting pages. just change it from blue to grey if you dont want everyone to see your replies AND the post you're replying to

PLEASE BE ADVISED that it is set to disabled for blogs that have not made any replies but it will turn ON if you reply with that blog in the future.! i just tested it with my main, which was greyed out but it turned on the moment i left a test reply

so couple of clarifications. comments are disabled as default for primary blogs that have their likes disabled. they are seemingly enabled for all other blogs that have replied to posts