-`. the two faced bitch .’-

‘ feel free to tell me to fuck off, but i need to get a couple more pictures of students here, or else my photography teacher is gonna flunk me. what can i do to get you to help a guy out? ‘

“Oh no! I can’t just let you flunk in good conscious!” Clarissa pouted, putting on as sweet of a voice as she could muster even though she could really give two shits if anyone failed. Gives her a better chance of graduating top of her class. “Well.” she grinned, “What do you have to offer? I can take payment in coffee dates or IOUs or a ride of that dick.” Though, owing Clarissa an IOU was something pretty dangerous.

Chels smiled brightly when she heard then saw Clarissa. “Clarissa, hey!” she said, giving her a quick air kiss back to her best friend. “Aww, you’re always way too sweet,” she said, waving her off. “But always right,” she added playfully, showing off her outfit. “But thank you, so do you! You look totally Dior!” she told her. “Of course, do you even have to ask?” she asked the girl and nodded, hooking their arms together. “I’d love nothing more. Shall we?”

“Oh, this old thing?” she responded, though she had just bought it that weekend, “You really think it’s cute? I usually just wear it when I go volunteer at the soup kitchen.” Clarissa had never actually spent more than 3 minutes in a homeless shelter before (just to take a quick selfie and then go home), but no one needed to know that. As they hooked arms, Clarissa led them outside to begin walking to the cafe down the road. “So what’s new with you?” she asked, hoping Chelsea actually had some useful information for her.

“Awww thanks babe, you’re so nice. I appreciate it.” Maddie threw her a kiss, grinning happily. “I actually met a really cute guy at the coffee shop yesterday. Or is it a tea shop because we’re in England? Either way, he’s totes hot.” 

Clarissa tossed her hair back, beaming, “Anything for one of my favorite people!” The girl caught the kiss with her hand and pretended to put it in her purse. Clarissa was more interested when Maddie began to spill the #tea. “Ohhh cute boy? Give me details.” she grinned before faking sympathy with a pout, “I know Derek and Thomas becoming a thing has probably been super rough because I know how close you are to them. I think it’s great you’re getting out there and meeting new guys, though! Ones that aren’t giving each other their STDs.”

… Okay, that was kind of true… but still, she didn’t have to say it. Her eyes widened when Clarissa took her laptop, standing up from her seat. “Come on, give it back!” Of course, there was a password protecting it, but she could just see the girl asking Fletcher to unlock it and learn that she had a date tomorrow night. That was not something she wanted them to find out. “I’m being serious, it’s nothing scandalous or anything. He and I are just friends. We mainly talk about photography and signing and such.”

Clarissa held her hand out in front of her to keep the other girl at a distance, “If you want it back so bad, then you have to beg for it, Goldie.” The girl tapped her foot on the ground, indicating she wanted the other to kneel. Clarissa snickered, “Psh. Sure, Jam. ‘Just friends’ always means something. It’d probably be quicker finding out if I just went and had this thing hacked open instead of having you tell me.” The girl opened the laptop, eyes scanning the password entry page, “Photography and signing? God, you’re so boring, even Helen Keller would punch you in the tit.” 

“Why would I want to lure someone into a van? I don’t even own a van.“ Ryan said genuinely confused but the dumb smile still places on his lips as he took another bite of his pizza. “C’mon just one won’t hurt anybody. Celebrating the new school of course! I mean it’s been a few weeks but its officially official.”

“It’s an expression. It’s supposed to mean-- nevermind. Just keep eating the pizza.” Clarissa sighed, not wanting to make him think too hard. She quietly hoped the gene that made him dumb didn’t run on her side of the family too. “I can’t or else I’m going to get fat like that heifer Pepper Ann, Ryan! You’re a little late on that celebration, but poor fatties most people like free pizza. You should probably save giving out slicing for if you run for baseball captain or something though. Bribe the student body.”

Sage grimaced, shaking her head. “I’m good, thanks though, it’s really nice of you to offer.” She couldn’t stomach anything other than water right now. She wanted to keep the contents of her stomach right there where they belonged. “From the stuff I’m piecing together, it was.”

Clarissa kept on smiling sweetly, although she thought Sage was being ungrateful and made a mental note to put her phone number on the stall of a gas station men’s bathroom eventually. “Suit yourself!” she sang, sipping her own drink before crocking an eyebrow, “Was it ‘I threw up on someone’s shoes’ bad or ‘I fucked had coitus with someone that I shouldn’t have’ bad?”

“I need a volunteer to take some insta pics for me. I got a new outfit and I look so good in it, it deserves to be documented.”

“I got you, Maddie!” Clarissa smiled, stopping herself from taking the photo at an angle that gave Maddie double chin. She wanted to get on the blonde’s good side even if Clarissa thought that natural selection needed to put the girl out of her misery already to piss off Heidi. “You look great! You going on a date or just dressing up?” she asked, more so to get any #tea than actually caring about Maddie’s love life.

“hey are you any good at forging signatures?” venice asks breathlessly, pink curls windblown from hightailing it across campus “if you could sign my tardy slip dr. eugene bowman i’ll owe you huge–” it was her fifth tardy since starting school and her chemistry professor had already threatened promised her that the next time she showed up late for class she’d her afternoon scrubbing the faculty bathroom.

“Sorry, I like to keep my fingerprints off all delinquent activity.” Clarissa explained, faking a smile and raising her hands up defensively. She’d never do her own dirty work, let alone someone else’s. However, someone owing her a favor did sound enticing. “Dr. B loves me because who doesn’t, I could just come with you to class and talk to him for you.” she offered, taking out her cellphone as she spoke to take a picture of Venice, “There. I took a yearbook photo. Now we can say you were helping yearbook committee. That’s technically not a lie.” 

“Me too!“ Well actually Luke loved all animals but cats where defiantly in his top favorites. “Really? What are their names? Maybe if he doesn’t belong to anyone else here poor guys probably on his own.”

“Cleo and Mark Anthony. What about you? I’m sure you’re really good at taking care of your cats since this one seemed drawn to you and so does my kitty.” she purred along with the mystery kitty in her arms. “Aw that’s so sad. Hey, maybe you should put some signs up around her to find his owners. If not, I don’t see what harm it’d be to take him.” she smiled, handing the furry friend back to bible boy.

Luke was on his way back to his dorm when he felt something graze his feet looking down he realized it was a cat. ”Where did you come from?” He said out loud before picking up the cat carefully before looking around for the owner. “Hey, is he yours by any chance?”

Damn, I have another pussy you can hold. “No, but I love cats!” Clarissa beamed, a rare occurrence of her being honest as she scratched the cat’s head with her finger. She took the cat in her arms to continue petting him, “I have two cats at home. You think he’s a stray?”

Thank god that she couldn’t actually hear the girl’s insults. Jamie looked away from the girl, putting her laptop away in her bag before looking back at Clarissa. “Why would I cam model in the library at three thirty in the afternoon? I was talking to a friend. But, it’s not really any of your business. Is there something that you actually need or want? Or is this all pretty much pointless and therefor, I can go and get ready for swim practice?”

“Because you want people to like you and I can literally smell the desperation for that, that you reek of.” she said, nodding as she feigned a look of sympathy to the girl. “Ohh a friend?” she smirked, snatching the girl’s bag and pulling the laptop out, “I didn’t want anything, but now I want the tea. You can have your laptop back once you tell me something juicy or else I’ll just go through any weird imessage sext you have with your ‘friend’ on your laptop here, Goldie.”

“I picked up a few slices anyone want some?“ Ryan asked fellow students who were passing by before flipping the top of the box open and grabbing a slice for himself. 

“People are going to think you’re trying to lure kids into your van if you keep asking if anyone wants free pizza.” she smiled, rolling her eyes at her cousin, “I’m good though. I can do without the carbs. What’s with the pizza party anyway?”

“I know, I’m so excited, too!” Jamie grinned at her laptop screen, her hand resting on her cheek as she looked back at the person in the computer. “Tomorrow night’s going to be so much. I found this cute little place that I know you’re going to love and I promise that I won’t bring my camera.” Noticing a classmate, she quickly sat up straight and talked quietly, “Shit, I gotta go, a classmate’s here. I’ll text you later and see you tomorrow night. Bye.” Ending the video call and shutting her laptop, she smiled sheepishly. “Uh, hey, hi. Um… Do we have a project to work on or no?”

“If you mean the work that needs to be done on your thighs so you stop looking like the fucking Teletubbie then sure.” Clarissa said, taking a seat, “I don’t know what’s worse, your face or the fact that you dress like you belong in a Kidz Bop video. I’d probably go easier on you, but you’re supposed to be deaf and not blind.” The girl took out her compact and started to reapply her makeup, “Who were you video chatting with anyway? I’d guess you were cam modeling, but we all know that no one would pay to see your weird nipples, Jamie.”

// @chelsgold