all i want is you

When Bruce accidentally let it slipped to Jamie that their mothers had been fighting, she wanted to return home immediately. Of course, her siblings (especially Johanna and Bruce, the eldest of the Taylor kids) would never allow her to leave school early. Especially not when finals and winter break were just around the corner. She just wanted to make sure that everything was okay, that her moms were okay. She didn’t realize just how wrong she was.

But, at least her siblings were coming on the eighteenth to see her before their parents were suppose to come to London on the twentieth. Just knowing that her family were going to be reunited, and in England no less, brought a sense of peace to her. So when Paul had tapped Jamie’s shoulder while she’d been in the library doing her homework, she’d been confused at first. Then she noticed his bright grin and saw him nod at a direction, her eyes glancing over with the girl gasping happily at the appearance of her siblings, all six of them.

“Oh my god!” she squealed happily, not hearing the librarian give out a “shhh!” as she got out of her seat and ran to her family. They all gathered in a group hug, happiness radiating off them. It had felt like forever since they were all together last, so they wanted to cherish this moment.

Jamie finally pulled away, her hands in a flurry as she signed all at once: ‘I’ve missed you all so much! You guys are so early, but I’m not complaining. Johanna, some choir girls bought your album and said that you’re amazing! Oh my gosh, Bruce, I need to introduce you to Maddie- she’s aspiring to be a cheerleader for the Olympics in the future and I think you could give her some advice and tips. Tony, how’s the business going? I checked your Instragram last night, congrats on reaching three million! Bridget, Moira, is it true that you two might get a Netflix show? That’s so cool! And Jerod, congrats on getting to work with Eric Whitacre in April! That’s amazing and I have no doubts that you’re going to be fantastic.’

Johanna smiled at her baby sister, giving her a hug before signing, ‘Thanks, baby girl! Now, before we do anymore talking, there was a cafe we passed by that was just calling my name.’

The second youngest Taylor member, Jerod, laughed joyously before signing, ‘Hell yeah, hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon! Speaking my language, Jojo. They’re not going to be as good as moms’ are, though.’ Jamie had giggled, looking away and not catching the twins, Bridget and Moira, pinched their little brother’s sides. “Ow!” he cried, rubbing at his sides and glared at his sisters. “What the hell was that for?!”

“Shut up, you idiot! We can’t bring up anything about moms just yet,” hissed Moira, glancing at Jamie and relieved to see that she was showing some pictures on her phone to their elder siblings, not noticing the three talking. Her twin nodded, a pained look on her face as she watched the girl before looking back at her baby brother. “She’s right and you know it. We can’t have her asking questions about them yet. Not... Not until we figure out how to tell her.”

The young male had finally stopped rubbing where he was pinched, his face gloomy as he looked at his baby sister. Seeing the girl laugh and being so happy just made him feel worse. “I know, I know. It just... feels wrong not telling her about it. She already knows that they’re fighting, but it’s unfair that she’s still in the dark about so much.” As he looked back at the twins, a frown appeared on his face. “When can we tell her?”

The twins looked at each other then back at their other siblings. Tony caught their eyes and shook his head. “Not yet,” mused Moira, silently grateful that Jamie was oblivious to their conversation. This was one of those moments in which she was glad that she was deaf, which only made her feel more guilty. “But,” interjected Bridget, trying to be positive, “we will tell her soon. Once things have cooled down more. Promise.”

*~*~*

Moments later, the Taylor clan we sitting at a booth in the Regency Cafe, Jamie waiting for their orders while her siblings found the chance to all conspire. “Okay you guys: I don’t know about you, but this is fucking killing me,” Tony said urgently, glancing at his sister every now and then. “She needs to know!”

“Not yet!” hissed Johanna, yet the eldest of the Taylor siblings clearly felt uncomfortable as well. “We need to let her remain ignorant just awhile longer. I promise that we’ll tell her before the twentieth. Let’s just... let her focus on finals some more and wait until she’s on break. It’s the least we can do before she finds out.”

Bruce just nodded, watching the young girl. He remembered the day she was brought home, how tiny and quiet she was. While she was still little and relatively quiet, he noticed just how much she has changed from then to now. There was more of a confidence to her, her being more content with herself. He has no idea how she was going to take this news and it killed him. He was her big brother and was suppose to protect her, dammit.

Wait, shit, was Jojo talking to him? “Hmm?” he asked, glancing back at his siblings. All of them held the same expression: they all knew that this was the hardest for him. Out of all of the siblings, Jamie was the closest with Bruce. He’d been her protector since day one and they were worried that he’d crack first.

Bridget sighed before taking a deep breath, her lawyer voice coming on. “Bruce, you can’t say anything to her. I know that it’s in your instinct to protect her, but this could really hurt her as well.” The young man rolled his eyes, a bit offended that his siblings had no faith in him. But as he was about to deny it, he glanced back at his baby sister accidentally and his face shattered. 

They were right. 

“I know, I know,” he finally sighed, running his hands through his hair. It was starting to grow back out, which was a relief. “I really just hate lying to her, keeping this from her. It’s fucking killing me.”

Moira nodded, looking at Jamie with a pained expression before back at her siblings. “We know, Bruce. Dammit all, we know. I don’t like this anymore than you do. But, we need to do what we can to protect her. We’ll tell her soon, when she’s ready.”

Jerod frowned, about to make a remark when an all too familiar voiced piped in, “I got our drinks!” The Taylors all forced beaming grins as the youngest of the bunch sat down, making sure that everyone got their hot chocolate. ‘Sorry that it took so long. Did I miss anything interesting?’

Tony smiled at Jamie as he held his cup. He sat next to Johanna, with Jerod sitting in between her and Bruce. Across from them sat the twins and Jamie. ‘No, nothing much,’ he signed with one hand as he took a drink. ‘Damn, this is pretty good.’ Not as good as moms, he thought but kept to himself. However, everyone thought the same thing when they took a sip.

‘So!’ Bruce began, forcing a smile as he set down his cup. ‘How’s everything going? How’s Liza doing?’ Johanna snorted, glancing at Jamie. ‘Yeah, when are we going to get to meet the infamous Liza? I can’t believe that you’ve replaced all six of us with her.’

Jamie laughed and shook her head reassuringly. ‘I have not replace you! Trust me, you’re all irreplaceable. I think that she’s doing okay, we haven’t gotten to spend time much recently. But, I promise to introduce you all to her quickly.’

Moira waved her hand, grabbing the girl’s attention. ‘She’s the science-y one, right? The one you wanted me to talk about seeing if she’s be interested in a summer program at NASA, right?’ The girl nodded, beaming proudly as she signed, ‘She’s the one! She’s a genius, you two will get along perfectly.’

Bridget shook her head playfully, a smirk gracing her features. ‘Yes yes, you think that Liza is the sun in the sky. BUT, I’m more interested in learning about Mister Jackson Gallo. How’re things going in that department?’ The other siblings all smirked as the girl blushed, looking at her cup and traced the handle with her thumb. ‘Um, it’s been awhile since I’ve spoken to him, actually. We’ve lost touched. Well, I distanced myself from him, actually.’

Now the siblings weren’t smirking anymore. They all shared confused looks, especially Bruce. He remembered briefly meeting the boy back in Oak-Haven. He had seemed like a good guy and he knew how much Jamie liked him. Waving his hand to get her attention, he felt as if it was just the two of them as he asked, ‘Jamie, what happened?’ The girl just frowned and deflated a little as she mused, ‘I just... got scared. I was beginning to really like him and it scared me. What if he liked me back and wanted to date me? A lot of his friend don’t like me and tease me a lot; I didn’t want him to endure that, too. It’s better this way, me staying away from him.’ 

Johanna and Tony reached out for their baby sister, each taking a hand and Jerod groaned. ‘Jams, I love you and all, but you got to take more risks. Who knows, you two could’ve actually been dating right now instead of doing this awkward dance. Just because moms are miserable, doesn’t mean you have to be.’

“Jerod!” the siblings shouted while the twins kicked each of the boy’s legs. “Fuck!” he cried, reaching down to grasp his shins. Jamie just sat there in shock, unsure of what was going on. ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa- what do you mean that moms are miserable?’ she asked, confusion clear on her face. ‘I mean, sure they’ve been fighting lately... But it’s just a minor thing. Right?’ But as she noticed the wary glances between each sibling, her heart sank. “R-Right?” she asked meekly, her bottom lip quivering.

Johanna sighed, holding her hands up before putting them down then repeating. She was struggling with her words. ‘Jamie, baby... The past couple of months, things between moms have been difficult.’ Jamie furrowed her brows before asking, ‘Difficult? How difficult?’ Tony licked his lips before saying, ‘Them fighting has been... happening for a couple of months now. Since summer, actually. We’ve all known, but we didn’t tell you because we were worried about how you’d take it. We were trying to protect you.’

An incredulous look appeared on the youngest Taylor’s face. ‘Protect me? Protect me from what?’

“Jamie...” Bruce said, taking his sister’s hands into his own, making sure her entire attention was on him. “Moms are getting a divorce.”

Her entire world stopped. All she could do was stare at them, trying to make sense of it all. He didn’t say that, right? She... She read his lips wrong. Yeah, yeah that was it. It was a misunderstanding, a huge one. They weren’t, they weren’t actually getting a divorce. They couldn’t be. They’ve been together for so long now. They were mothers to seven kids, one of which was still in high school. They’ve been in love for so long now. They couldn’t be getting a divorce. Right?

Jamie hadn’t realized that her breathing had gone heavy until she felt a sob in her throat. She hated seeing the way they all looked at her, like she was fragile glass or something. Jerod had mouthed the word ‘Jamie’, which broke her out of her trance as she pulled away and stood up, taking a few steps away from the table. She kept her back to her siblings, running her hands through her hair as she tried to calm down. But it was difficult. It was so, so difficult.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around to look at all of them. “I’m... I’m going to head back to my school. I need to get ready for finals. I’ll see you all later, okay?” She didn’t stop to see their reactions, to read their responses. All she did was grabbed her bag and coat, leaving the cafe without a farewell or an ‘I love you’. She just had to get out of there, now.