Witch And Famous

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

*in a jigsaw trap* yeah so, do you mind if we reschedule this? it's just i'm not really feeling it today sorryyy

the whole things just giving me anxiety haha

no worries if not though!!!

have you heard about the new greek mythology radio station? sisyphus fm: it's non-stop rock'n'roll

Look alive, chevalier. Have you 🫵 impregnated your liege lord today?

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

just took a deep breath something lindsey graham cannot do

girl dinner. fattest fucking plate of pasta you've ever seen in your life

relentlessly funny to me when people treat a relationship between someone in their 30s and someone in their 40s as "age difference". bro i cannot tell you which of my friends are 34 and which are 44. i can probably tell you which ones aren't 30 yet, but it's probable some of them are 50 now and i didn't notice. if you're over 30 and don't have kids, it's kinda all one age until you can collect social security.