cin

We have to stock ourselves with good things before we are able to give them away, and if we are too exhausted to make bread, we must rest before we can make it to serve our friends. If we are too hungry to serve, we must eat some bread ourselves first.

It's a metaphor for emotional exhaustion. When we wear ourselves down it makes it difficult or impossible to help the people around us, and all the effort and good intentions in the world can't make up for the fact that our vessels are empty. It's hard to not want to serve when our friends are in trouble, but trying to serve from an empty vessel often leaves both of you floundering.

me: uh yeah i am currently in a relationship with someone...

my mom: do we get to meet him?

me, a wlw:

You say “glad to know we’re on the same page.” Slowly, he will have to adapt to just outright telling you what he thinks instead of playing mind games.

When your friend tries to hint that they’re mad at you without saying anything: “Oh, I’m fine, clearly you don’t need to worry about me,”

You say: “I’m glad you’re doing well. Call me if you want to talk, though!” Soon enough, they will accept that they can’t be passive aggressive with you.

When your boyfriend says: “All your friends are great, I really love *insert male friend* especially.”

You say: “I’m so glad you like my friends! I should invite them back soon.” He needs to understand that if he has a problem with your friends, he needs to just voice his concerns instead of being sarcastic and accusatory.

As someone who has lived through several toxic relationships and has an abusive father, I think one of the most important manipulation tools a toxic person has is excessive subtext and hidden meanings in their conversation. It hides all of the actual fighting from the eyes of onlookers while still hurting you, which is scary and makes you feel like you’re making it all up. Don’t put up with this bs. Make them stop hiding.