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this is what i was talking about by the way

Hello everyone. I’m opening commissions due to an urgent situation. My 14 y/o cat needs veterinary care, and I don’t currently have enough funds to cover treatment, special food, and possible medication. I’d be incredibly grateful for any commission, even a simple portrait. I specialize in vintage magazines inspired art, and currently I prefer to do limited color illustrations, but everything is negotiable. I’ll work as fast as I can. All info & links: cyrilnihil.carrd.co On my Carrd, you can find a link (google doc sheet) to my price list , terms of service, and most importantly, information about my cat. I’ve also included photos from our last vet visit in February, along with receipts and her blood test results. Thank you for your support 💙

I meant more to talk about how when you’re aro, there’s this whole side of relationships, those that are lauded as the « most powerful bonds » that you don’t have access to. You’re effectively barred from getting to close to people you know? How must it feel, to know yourself secondary in all relationships? If all you can have are friends, how do you cope with the expectation that all those friends could leave you to live with a partner?

And when you’re ace, especially when otherwise queer (like, being transfem), you have to reckon with the fact that no matter what, there’s a facet of socializing that you can’t access. This goes into relationships too, of course. What do you do with partners that expect some degree of sexual reciprocation? What do you do, when flirting, playing with desire, is so common in your community? Do you just accept you’ll be isolated from your peers in a tangible way? Is that even something you can accept?

I can’t claim these are the worst things the world does, nor to have solutions. But, when connecting with people, and doing so deeply and fully is predicated on relating with them, sexually or romantically, and you can’t do that. What do you do?

I get invited fewer places because all of my friends are couples. They do couples things now. I don't have a partner to share my burdens with, to help me manage all the labor that comes with just being alive, or keep me company.

All my friends and old classmates and acquaintances are all planning these big, shared lives, and I'm wondering how I'm ever going to make it. It doesn't matter how many friends and ace/aro person has, or how close they are with their family, or any of those other things. Sometimes, it's still Just Me.

- start wearing typically masculine clothing, like suits with wide shoulders

- people will tell you to not wear pinstripes because it'll make your chest and curves more obvious but think of it as a disguise to throw off their scent, like a zebra. it's urban camouflage

- start callin other men "boss" as a sign of respect

- always make sure to stay safe, keep a switchblade on you or a handgun or something

- consider your diet, work some carbs and fat in there for when T starts workin it's magic. im talkin pasta, pizza, lasagna

- tuck your hair up into a fedora if ya can't cut it

- remember to voice train, if you layer on an accent maybe it'll be less obvious, like a Brooklyn one if you're not already from there

- start snappin your rhythmically and intimidatingly when you find the poor bastard that owes the big man up top that several hundred grand who hasn't paid his dues yet. that'll show em who's the dominant man in the situation

- put a playlist of noir jazz music together and have it playing on your phone in your pocket so it follows you at all times, this is crucial to exuding masculine energy