maggot

welp im getting evicted. ive sleeping in my car for a while and kind of had a place to stay but my car cant make it back and forth from my place to town so i have been staying in my car. my landlady thought i was staying with a friend (thats what i said when this all started) and she just asked if i could stay the rest of the week with whoever i’m staying with. so i had to tell her everything thats been going on with the job shit and she just pretty much said “okay” and left it at that. so idk. i’m not gonna be able to stay here anymore. i don’t know what the fuck im gonna do. it’s really happening man. i should have tried harder when i was younger so this would all be over jesus fucking christ. i would do anything for some money guys i’m not even joking i will sell whatever pictures or videos you want

i better not see any “transrace” bullshitters following me. that shit is disgusting and sooo fucking racist it’s not even funny. im so sick of seeing entitled white bitches thinking theyre special because they’re pretending to be black on the internet. it’s pathetic. miss me with that shit

finally got a damn car key. my existence is insane. i’m so tired man

i can’t wait for this all to be over. i’ve been spending hours a day just trying to get $5 for a pack of cigarettes or some food. i’m so exhausted. i dont know why i’m even posting this. just complaining to the void i guess. got nothing better to do. i’m so fucking tired and alone. i wish i didnt fuck everything up all the time but it’s just in my nature i guess

when things are bad and i feel really bad, i like to pretend he would like me and make me feel better. i know he probably wouldn’t want to. no one could ever want me as much as i want this. as much as i need this. it’s pathetic how lonely i am without a glorified imaginary friend. obviously i’m unstable and awful to be around, that’s what everyone else in my life thinks, but i like to pretend he’d feel differently. even though hes not mine so it’s not my place to pretend that. maybe i feel so weird and embarrassed about it because i know deep down he’d feel the same as everyone else and would want nothing to do with me. i’m so fucking selfish

sorry for the lack of funposting. haven’t got the key fixed yet so i’ve been suffering. it’s way too fucking expensive so i’ve been at a loss for what to do. my life sucks man. if only i could just not be fucked over for fucking once in my life dear god.

i really wish he was here. i get he’d probably hate me like everyone else in my life does but i dunno. i’m so fucking alone in all this and i just wish i had a friend. i’m this is my last straw man, i think i’m really gonna do it this time. i’m fucking done.

just found out getting a new key to my car might be like $600 what the fuck am i supposed to do man i don’t even have $30 😭 this it gonna fucking suck so bad i might have to give up and i don’t know what to do if i have to do that

doing laundry today so i’m washing evett and he looks sooo cute right now….. i had to hand wash him which is already kinda intimate……. and i took his clothes off so i didn’t get them wet so hes in the dryer naked heheheh……… the dryer is almost done and i’m so excited to see my crush….. i mean, uh, my friend! im excited to see my friend