I am Confused™

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

tws is even crazier when you think about how steve rogers alone wasn’t the first thing bucky remembered — it was that he remembered LOVING him. yes it was the one face hydra couldn’t take from him. but a familiar visage wouldn’t have been enough to plant doubt into his mind, to make him violent and unstable to the people controlling him. as much as he was programmed and brainwashed, they still gave him orders under the pretense of “freedom” and being on the right side. but being told to fight the man on the bridge, that he was his enemy, uprooted the entire facade in one go. they wiped his memory of the incident but it was too late because loving steve was encoded in his dna

and the same goes for steve! sam asked what makes steve happy to the reply of “I don’t know”, peggy told him she had a life now he deserves / there’s no going back only forward, natasha asking steve if there’s anyone special to which he says it’s hard to find someone with shared life experience……….just for bucky barnes to reappear. because even when steve had nothing, he had bucky. and even at this low point, w shield infiltrated by hydra and steve a ghost forgotten by time replaced by cap, still knew one thing for certain about himself — he loved bucky barnes.

If T makes you gain weight and E and antidepressants do it too, and so does enjoying good food and not being hungry all the time, then perhaps maybe sometimes joy & weight gain come hand in hand and that's good