x

I was about to be M A D but this is truly good advice.

Y'all have,,, NO idea how much I want a pizza rn. It is taking all of my willpower to save my money and not order one this instant to celebrate getting stuff done today

Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,

I’m gonna ask my governor now and tell him Cruz said it was out of his jurisdiction so he’ll feel all important. dude sued the city and is richer than god he can afford a pizza

None of them bought me a pizza. Guess you could say they crust my dreams :((

pLOT TWIST THE SECRETARY SENT ME $15 FOR MAKING HER LAUGH AND CAUSE SHE HATES WORKING THERE,,, THE SUBJECT LINE SAID POLITICAL PIZZA

i would be very scared but very honored

baptism by ape

1920s shitposting

went to the grocery store yesterday and saw they had some cheddar cheese on sale. i noticed a middle aged woman filling her entire hand basket with these discounted aged cheddar blocks, hand movements frantic and eyes set with determination. i reached over and grabbed a block from the discount bin. she snapped out of her reverie and quietly asked “do you want some more?” i said no i only want one block. she looked horrified. are you sure, she asked. yeah, i responded, plunking the block in next to my spinach. she began explaining that she and her friends really like this particular cheese. she sounded horrified. she was stumbling on her own words. i left quickly, feeling like i walked into something i shouldnt have seen. a private moment between this woman and her cheeses. i hope she is doing okay and is eating her cheese. 

actually im eating my cheese now and honestly i understand her, this cheese SLAPS

i’m seeing yall worship t*rantino’s ass with his new movie and conveniently forgetting he spit on uma thurman’s face, choked her with a chain and nearly had her dead during a car scene because he didn’t want her to use a stunt double in kill bill

Other countries please take notes

what kind of camera are you using this is like movie quality god damn

HE SOUNDS SO SAD PUT hIM BACK

everyone stop reblogging the chains that don’t include the trans flag challenge