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❌ Does this ship make any sense whatsoever by any reasonable metric

Ilya does Mira’s knuckle cracking, and the bit from “you came at a bad time…okay I’ll show you wild” is a montage of the team getting ready, shots of dramatic skate lacing and buckling of pads and jerseys being adjusted to fall just right over broad shoulders. (Does Troy get slightly jealous about Harris spending so much time on this video, maybe? Do they fuck nasty about it? Yes. Is there a cut of just Troy? You bet, buddy.) Then there’s a shot of skates entering the ice as the music builds. When the rapping starts, the team is on the ice together looking all dramatic and shit (but also I cannot stress enough how these grown men are having a blast making this once they really get into it). It cuts between official video and found footage of games.

“Bleeding isn’t in my blood” is a shot of someone in the penalty box. It’s found footage style, taken on someone’s camera of a player wiping their bloody nose or mouth or something (I think the most predictable option is Ilya but I LOVE the idea that it’s Shane. Like being on this team and fully supported by his hockey family gets him a little more willing to not be the token Asian player, the golden boy, the muse of respectability politics for the league. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a boy scout by hockey standards, but he’s not afraid to drop gloves a little more, and Scott Hunter hadn’t been kidding when he said that Shane was starting to sound like Ilya.)

“Beating you is what I do do do” is quick cut shots of great goals maybe? Or maybe epic saves from Wyatt, whatever floats your boat, I’m not picky. Same with “body on body…a little late to the party” is more hockey game footage, particularly good checks or like, cool plays. Maybe there’s some quick celebration footage on “to the party”, but then, it cuts to Dykstra, Hayes, and Chouinard doing the little “la la la la” finger wag.

“Locked and loaded, I was born for this/There ain’t no point in avoiding it” is Shane and maybe Ilya? In a perfect world Harris has been able to find the perfect footage of Shane and Ilya playing at the prospect cup smash cut to them playing on the centaurs, either in a game or in practice or something, (again, I’m not a picky woman)

“Annoyed? A bit” is a ref pushing someone away from Ilya, who is being a rage baiting king on the ice, and then the immediately following Korean lyrics to “how it’s done done done” more cool hockey footage, especially of the players getting checked right against the boards on the beat like the plane windows in the movie. The chorus, starting with “hey, huntr/x don’t miss…how it’s done done done” has footage of the guys doing the choreography from the movie, using hockey sticks like swords, the whole bit, cut in with the cool hockey stuff.

“Yeah, something so about when you come for the crown that’s so humbling, huh?” (I’m saying that Harris makes the video after the first year the Centaurs with the cup. Idk where that puts us in the timeline after TLG, and frankly I don’t care. This is my playground.) And this is footage of all the guys, Shane and Ilya holding the cup together, Boodram getting sprayed with champagne by Holmberg, LaPoint, and Young. (There’s a really great series of fics that have those three kind of lumped with Luca has being the “young guys” on the team and so now that has become my preferred headcannon).

The following Korean lyrics (Mira’s part, I think) through “from sunup to sundown, so come out to play” is more hockey footage, and “won either way, we’re one in a million / we kill ‘em, like, really? You want it? Okay” is hockey footage and on-ice celebrations from the cup winning match.

“Heels, nails, blade, mascara” is a shot of one of the guys posing with his skate on a bench (with the guard on) like it’s a high heel, followed by a shot of Troy pulling on his gloves, followed by Luca doing some fancy puck handling, then finishing with Wyatt pulling down his mask

“Fit check for my napalm era” is most definitely Troy doing the like, collar popping move with his jersey but he’s not wearing pads so the jersey is extra big (this is definitely just a video that Harris has of Troy at home rapping along to some of his club rat music)

“Need to beat my face, make it cute and savage” is Wyatt lip synching and just so into it. This man is a nerd and unafraid to share his silly joy with the world.

“Mirror mirror on my phone, who’s the baddest?” Absolutely must be Ilya with Chiron, like, hoisting Chiron to look in the mirror and trying to keep a straight face. You can definitely see Shane and Boodram falling over laughing in the corner of the video.

“Us, hello” is a shot of Luca just blue steeling the camera and just…cinnamon roll man, someone protect him.

“Knocking you out like a lullaby…how it’s done done done” is more cool footage

“I don’t talk, but I bite, full of venom” is a specific clip of Ilya making a kind of biting motion. Harris finds it because someone in the crowd got video of some other player on another team (of your choice) calling Ilya Shane’s dog, and Ilya barks like the asshole that he is.

“Spittin facts you know that’s how it’s done done done” is maybe Weibe at a press conference looking serious, like hockey IQ reference vibes, or him in front of a white board going over plays

“Okay, like I know I ramble” is 10000% video that Ilya has of Wyatt holding up a comic book and explaining why it’s cool.

“But when shooting my words I go Rambo” is Troy getting a great shot

“Took blood, sweat, and tears to look natural” and “that’s how it’s done done done” are shots of the guys from the game, maybe with a bloody brow, wiping sweat or squirting water on their face on the bench, and the team crying when they win the cup.

“Hear our voice…til the dark meets the light” is clips of the reach out that the team does. It includes clips of the camps, of the fans holding up pride themed posters, definitely highlighting the fact that this team is beloved by the community because they give back to the community.

The last part of the song is more cool hockey footage, but the closer to the end it gets, the more it’s clips of the fans at games, meeting the players, Luca signing a doodle that he does for some kid, Shane handing a kid his hockey stick as he leaves ice to the locker room (ala Scott Hunter), clips of pride nights in full swing, showing the full breadth of their appreciation of the fans who support them and how that fan base is grown and celebrating that everyone is welcome at Centaurs games.

It ends with “we’ll see you next year” or something, idk, it’s a social media video after all.

Other thoughts:

Chiron and Anya feature heavily

There’s clips of the team line dancing with Dykstra from one of the team hangouts at Bood’s house. They are dancing to Texas Hold ‘Em by Beyoncé (the only country Ilya finds acceptable)

How It’s Done is on the team’s pre-game hype up playlist

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