chumpy

curating an instagram story to be least offensive to my friend and still retain maximal humorous capacity

found out an artist i like is the solo project of another band i really like 😼

unfortunately i cant stop letting people follow me on my insta spam even though thats like the whole point of it because i want everyone to see my stories

i actually can pronounce all of the ingredients in every food so i’m good to eat everything but it kinda sucks you guys cant pronounce the ingredients so yeah you probably shouldnt be eating those things sorry 🤷‍♂️

anyways the only thing keeping me going right now is thinking about how when i start my internship im going to meet tall alternative intern trade and he’s gonna be so enamored by me cus everyone at that job is boring af sorry and we’ll fall in love and it might just last for the summer but good things cant last forever but maybe when im 30 we’ll meet again in the most odd situation and rekindle our old flame and ill carry his children before i tragically pass away from the heavy metal and poppers in my lungs and disgustingly high levels of sodium and clogged arteries and acid reflux and from whatever the fuck taco bell meat is made of

yknow what fuck yikyak its genuinely the stupidest fucking app anyone’s ever made. its like they designed it specifically for people who raise their hands to “correct” the professor sorry if im being mean i lowkey dgaf nothing funny anything ever comes of it its just recycled facebook reaction images with the caption “that face when you fail your finals” and anonymoususer57 in the comments like F or M 😭😭 omfg you all are the worst people ive ever seen and its all anonymous so it could literally be anyone posting this bullshit. and it could have been such a great idea like an app to complain about everything wrong with your school hello thats my favorite thing ever except it fucking sucks when mr trust fund chop hoe the third posts about the pressure of not getting into an ivy league because their entire fucking lineage is rich and paid for everything they’ve ever encountered in life

saying goodbye to my gpa as grades are put in

willingly made a bad decision today we’ll see how it affects future me ☺️☺️

tumblr is evil for not letting you edit tags after you make them

never thought id see judi jupiter armed with a phone flashlight battle azealia banks armed with an israeli shirt