sequins and drama and the promise of bloodshed

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

HIJK is not my personal favorite part of the alphabet song but i appreciate the artistry. it is the sort of labored uphill climb that lends itself to the free downhill spillage of LMNOP. each letter is like an effortful punctuation of an iron pick into the mountain side as you hoist your way up. you can almost hear the shrill of each strike chafing

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

Faux leather was the worst thing ever created

Lets take a material that can last decades with the right treatment and care and fucking replicate it with the most dogshit ugly flimsiest animal extinction microplastics smells bad unsexual rips in four days garbage disgusting saran wrap we can think of. Ostensibly for vegans.

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

Hey guys the star of Let It Snake is graduating high school today lmao

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit