Godzilla's Wrestling Coach

A somewhat mundane thing that is like hazardous to my mental health if I think about it too long is the culture of Starbucks Orders. you have people doing this fucking. 4 pumps of this 4 pumps of that half-caff 1.5x foam plus caramel drizzle and they do this every day they give this whole order to a barista with a straight face and it never crosses their mind that the barista wants to and deserves to gut them like a pig for it. some people are just fucked and i genuinely think the way they interact with starbucks is a sign of a deeper sickness of the soul

!!!!!!!!!!!!

one of the many reasons to insist upon chronological timelines is that it's much, much harder to scroll forever if you can catch up with yourself. if you can run out of tumblr because you reach yesterday, that is a good and helpful prompt to do something else.

"my very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when i was three" like come ON how did you write the funniest sentence ever by adding a two word parenthetical. leave something for the rest of us

every mercenary company has got that guy who insists he should fight with two daggers... bro get back in formation and pick up your pike