Godzilla's Wrestling Coach

making posts about how beer tastes bad is a lot like that painting of a jester harassing a bunch of dogs while leaning over a wall, except the jester is below the dogs and trying so hard to reach them, and all the dogs are extremely beautiful and strong, and have a wonderful community built on love, and they never want for anything. they never want for anything.

little bit of advice: if you can't tell if a post online is a joke, you should always assume that it is not a joke and the op is either an idiot with an inflated ego or is lying on purpose for malicious reasons. in both cases the best course of action is to aggressively correct them and insult them, maybe even threaten to kill them

the buddha taught this

Okay, but a lot of books would be that long if you laid the pages out

the average printed page is 6 inches wide. so if a book is 128 pages, its 64 ft long. I dont think I own a book with fewer than 128 pages.

It's honestly not that impressive at all. Fuck Imhotep and his pathetic short book.

at the bus stop showing a stranger the picture of the devil that I keep in my wallet

i got assigned a grey alien pen pal and all I send him are polaroids of me grabbing my nuts &flipping the bird

walked outside during a storm and got crushed by over 5000 pounds of lightning

The "Type 5318008 and turn it upside down" exploit found on all calculators has been patched, no longer works