don't hug me i'm scared

used the bathroom the other day during play intermission but the line was blocking the hand dryers so i just left w my wet wet hands and as i returned to my seat an old man dropped his cane into the aisle and i bent down to grab it and got my wet wet hands all over the cane and i handed his wet wet cane back to him and i said its wet

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

@theoutcastrogue

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

yesterday my dad and i were stuck indoors because of the weather and i said “we’re homestuck” and he looked at me, like he knew this was some meme shit, he knew the score, but he couldn’t place it. he just kept looking at me suspiciously, knowingly, warily. then he carefully said, “yes.”

hey

not in the mood today quincy

seriously.. read the mood quincy

sorry guys

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

Jesus Christ what do you mean there's another kid

"Here's a picture of your dead younger brother you didn't even know about. Okay, bye"

Okay so like in real life I wouldn't dare to have an opinion on this but I think it's a really bizarre narrative decision to have Deok-mi's mom be willing to be anyone and everyone's adopted mom EXCEPT baby Ryan Gold who was (assumed) abandoned at the playground like hello? You're telling me anyone, including adult Ryan Gold, can just wander into her house and have a plate and a seat at the table but this seven year-old goes straight to the orphanage?

She literally went to the hospital to give birth to her daughter and came home with a son some lady dumped on her but this child who has already been abandoned had better not darken her fucking door or else

I think they should make the boner pills in pink instead of blue just to see if cishet men can handle it

As a chronic "good heavens" sayer, and as a casual rhyme enjoyer, it's been really hard not to pepper in the phrase "good heavens six sevens" into my vocabulary. It would be so much fun to say, but it would immediately alienate both young hip people and old antiquated people and really only be enjoyed by whimsically autistic transgender women, so yeah :/