The Chronic BabeA Blog Of Resiliency

ESFP: Look, I get it, you leave people in the dust because you know how crazy and all over the place your life can be and you’re also crazy scared to let somebody in just to have it end up with you accidentally leaving them and both of you getting hurt, but emotional intimacy and real depth in friendships are 100% worth it in the end and it’s the struggle and fight of a lifetime to keep them in your life, but it’s also the greatest gift and you can’t keep denying yourself that intimacy and friendship. 

ISFP: I know you have a lot of great desires and wonderful dreams and they might seem too far off and too crazy and too beautiful to come true, but you have them for a reason, and you gotta stop paralyzing yourself with fear and take that first step and throw yourself into the unknown, and that’s the scariest part, I know, but we both know you’re braver than you look, and that your passion can make it happen. 

ENFP: I know that the moment you hit an obstacle or two when you first start working towards that far off dream, it’s scary and it makes you want to crumble and run away to a new thing like you think you always do, but don’t! You’re miles more tenacious and capable than you give yourself credit for and you’ve got to discipline yourself and trust that your talents and optimism can and will propel you through whatever is keeping you from your goals. 

INFP: I know it’s hard to feel understood and it’s easy to let yourself become bitter by the ways of the world or whatever’s happening, but closing yourself off to others isn’t going to save you the pain. You have a natural capacity to understand others that’s hard for the other types to grasp and when you stop yourself from using that talent, or use it for selfish reasons, you’re doing yourself a massive injustice. 

ESTP: Listen, I totally get that the world is full of fun and interesting things and you want to experience them all, but you’ve got to remember that for a lot of the people that come along with you, they’re there to experience YOU as much as they’re there for the thing itself. Don’t let yourself forget that half the fun of anything is who you’re doing it with. 

ISTP: I know you generally don’t mean to yell or be rude when your irritated and that it’s really just a passing thing and you don’t generally care all that much, but just apologize to people after you’ve calmed down! Explain it to them and that you don’t mean it! Admit to yourself that you care enough about them to try to make amends, even when you’re just being a little crotchety; it means a lot to the feelers lol. 

ENTP: You’re a genuinely fun person to be around and you usually rack up a reputation for that, but just because you’re funny and witty and damn smart doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings and problems that need to be externalized, and trust me, the right people will be more than willing to talk about what’s really happening in your life one minute and go back to elaborate jokes the next without a problem. Don’t stunt your emotional growth for the sake of brevity. 

INTP: It’s okay to not know what to do in an emotional situation. Like, it’s genuinely okay. If somebody’s opening up to you, half the time your presence and you listening is 95% of what they need in that moment. Don’t avoid the situations just because it causes writer’s block emotionally. Emotional availability comes with experience. You’ll learn. Just, be your goofy self and the rest will come with time. 

ENFJ: You’ve got to realize that although holding yourself to such a high standard is noble and praiseworthy, that it sometimes eclipses your ability to be a good friend when that was the goal in the first place. You’re human and can’t do everything for your friends that you’d want to be able to do when they need help, and profusely apologizing and beating yourself up for it just shifts the focus off of helping your friend and turns it to you. Accept your humanity, and just do what you can. They appreciate the help, I promise. 

INFJ: I know you have a tendency to feel misunderstood and want people to show you that they love you and care about you, but you don’t get to say you’re fine AND disappear on people. Either say you’re not okay and pull back, or say you’re okay and stick around long enough for somebody to see through the BS. In my experience, y'all have a habit of making things a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that doesn’t do you any good! Be forward, be honest, and just be vulnerable; they care more than you convince yourself they do. 

ESFJ: I need to be straight with y'all. Learn how to talk about something other than your 4-5 current fixations. In my experience, N’s have a crazy hard time being close with you because you keep bringing the topic back to one of your current Favorite Things™, whether it be the semester abroad you just got back from or the first date that’s scheduled for two weeks from now. Expand your area of interest and you’ll find people will be much more authentic with you. 

ISFJ: You have this really amazing ability to notice the small things about people and that helps you show them you care about them in these really great and meaningful ways, but you can’t let yourself overthink the small things you notice about people. One of my good ISFJ friends started poking around trying to see if alcoholism ran in my family after noticing I’d been drinking wine a lot recently. You might have an intention to help, but overthinking/overanalyzing like that and trying to involve yourself in helping can hurt your friendships. 

ESTJ: Your presence is powerful and intense and that’s great at times, but you’ve got to let out your goofy fun side more, and hoe we’ve all seen it before, you’re a damn riot after a beer or two. People, in general, care more about fun than having every plan go right during the night/event. Be willing to be fun more, you’re so good at it. 

ISTJ: I know you get frustrated with yourself because you want to do new things and get out there and be a fun person, but the thing is, you’re so much better at being a responsible, caring person. Befriend the chaotic, crazy, lovable rascals and let them bring the fun to you (or more often than not, drag you kicking and screaming to where the fun is). 

ENTJ: Look, I’m an INTJ, so I know how hard this is to swallow, but showing you care about a person sometimes isn’t so much giving them solutions to their problems or trying to correct an issue; a lot of the other types literally just want you to listen and hear them out. And you gotta do that sometimes, babe. And shut your damn mouth while they’re telling you everything, okay? Just. Let them finish. 

i fucking hate self care posts made by neurotypicals so here’s one from someone who Actually Gets It

-can’t shower or take a bath? me either. dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.

-can’t wash your sheets and make your bed? i feel you. push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.

-can’t even change out of your dirty pajamas? been there. hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you can’t, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.

-can’t make anything to eat? same. if you can, there’s no shame in ordering food. in fact, it’s probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. if you can’t, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.

can’t respond to messages or reach out for help? yeah, i get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once you’ve given yourself time to prepare. if they’re Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. as far as personal messages go, don’t feel bad for sending a mass “I’m sorry, I’m in a personal emergency right now. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” response to everyone.

-can’t even sleep because it’s so bad? asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but i also watch a lot of bob ross. just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.

-can’t go for a walk/drive? try opening the blinds or curtains. you’re still exposing yourself to the outside world. baby steps. (i also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. i went on a walk.)

-can’t go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know it’s an emergency and you can’t make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.

-can’t brush your teeth and wash your face? makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. don’t let yourself physically rot bc you’re rotting emotionally.