CHRISPLEASURE

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ✶ sad themes..

𝓑ᝰ. hi lovelies!! this is a little sad.. your girl was in her feels. i love you guys so much enjoy!!

The apartment was quiet in a way it hadn’t been in months. All the past laughter and late night conversations were like ghosts haunting him. His hoodie hung off his frame like it didn’t belong to him anymore and maybe it didn’t. Everything felt like it belonged to a version of himself that had existed days ago. Maybe longer. He couldn’t tell time right now. these past 3 days were all a blur he couldn’t remember.

He sat on the edge of the bed. your shared bed. His fingers clenched into the sheets you hadn’t slept on in a few nights. His knees bounced. His throat burned. He hadn’t cried. Not yet. He hadn’t let himself. If he did, it would be real.

And he wasn’t ready for it to be real.

Your sweater still hung on the edge of the his chair. He hadn’t touched it. He couldn’t. he was afraid that it would break him.

He replayed your voice in his head multiple times. it wasn’t the person he had fallen in love with. The cold sentence wasn’t full of the softness or the love it used too. It wasn’t the same voice he had shared soft laughs with or the late-night whispers.

“Chris, I just… I don’t feel it anymore.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. That was three nights ago. You’d stood in this room, arms crossed tightly over your chest, your voice trembling but not from sadness, but guilt. And that was the worst part. You meant well. You were gentle. Honest.

and it still shattered him in ways he hadn’t felt no matter how soft you did it.

Chris had always known that once he fell.. he fell hard. he loved too hard. Too fast. Too desperately. It was something he didn’t talk about—something he buried in sarcasm and “nah, I’m good”s, but the truth was, he wasn’t good. Not before you. Not even now.

Especially not now..

you two had dated for two years. 730 days that were full of thousands of conversations, hundreds of fights, Inside jokes only you two understood, late-night drives, and shared looks that shared emotions he’ll never forget.

he didn’t know where it all went wrong. he tried everything he possibly could to make sure you didn’t leave him. when he met you for the first time he thought you were gonna be his forever.

you were all confidence and calm energy. You walked into his life like you’d belonged in it. Like the universe had already made space for you in his chest and was just waiting for him to catch up.

But Chris had always kept people at arm’s length. Not because he didn’t care but because he cared too much. Getting attached was a sickness for him. He knew how he got when he truly fell. Clingy. Paranoid. Desperate to be reassured that he wouldn’t be left behind like all the others.

Still, you stayed. You had met him halfway, every time. You held his face when he got in his own head. You texted him just because. You listened when he rambled and didn’t get scared when he told you about the way his thoughts spiraled sometimes.

he was stupid enough to believe that when you said you weren’t going anywhere “no matter what happened” you actually meant it.

when you had left you hadn’t taken all of your things. Just your laptop, charger, a few clothes in a bag that used to sit next to his sneakers by the door. He thought maybe that meant something. That you weren’t sure. That you’d come back and it’ll all be okay.

But it made his stomach turn when you hadn’t called. Hadn’t texted. Hadn’t liked anything he posted. Hadn’t even checked on him. he knew that maybe this was the end.

He was halfway through rereading a message thread between the two of you. scrolling back months into your I-love-yous and inside jokes when the lock clicked. it was past midnight by now. He didn’t move. Didn’t breathe.

The door creaked open like the universe was testing him. Seeing how much more he could take. then you stepped inside. You looked exhausted. Not sad. Not angry. Just tired. Like you hadn’t slept. Like the breakup had carved something out of you too, and maybe it had. Maybe that should’ve made him feel better but it didn’t.

Chris didn’t move. he was afraid if he did you’d disappear. “I just came to get the rest of my stuff,” you said softly, like you were scared her voice would shatter the silence too harshly.

Chris said nothing. Just gave a nod so small it barely counted. When you moved across the room your eyes briefly flicked to him but you pulled it away just as quick as it came. The bag in your hand brushed the doorway as you stepped into the closet, pulling down a few shirts.

He could hear you trying not to sniffle. Maybe it was allergies. Maybe it was grief. Either way, he heard it, and it scratched at something deep in his chest.

when you stepped out of the closet you picked up the sweater on the back of the chair. “You should keep that,” he murmured suddenly, his voice rough and low. You paused. “Chris—” he shook his head. you softly picked the sweater up in your arms as he kept his eyes on his hands.

His voice came out hoarse again. “You could’ve just… told me.” You paused, her back to him as you stopped at the entrance of the closet again.

God, he didn’t understand. You had been good together.. maybe not perfect, but you were trying. He was trying.

Chris’s eyes stayed locked on the floor as he spoke. “When you stopped feeling it. You could’ve said something.”

You turned, slowly. Your face looked like you wanted to explain, but there were no words good enough for that kind of pain. “I didn’t know how,” you said.

“You said you weren’t going anywhere.” you breathed carefully. “I thought I meant it.” He let out a small, bitter laugh. “I thought you did too.” You stepped into the middle of the room again. “Chris…”

He finally looked up at you. he really looked at you. And God, you looked like a ghost. Not because you were pale or distant but because you weren’t his anymore. His voice cracked in a way that made want to cry “I would’ve done anything. You know that, right?”

You odded. “I know. That’s what scared me.” His breath caught. “What?” You nodded. “You would’ve bent yourself into pieces for me. And I let you. You loved me like I was oxygen. Like if I left, you’d stop breathing. That kind of love… it’s beautiful, but it’s also heavy. It started to feel like drowning.”

The silence that followed wasn’t quiet anymore. It was a scream with no sound. He stood now, slowly, arms hanging useless at his sides. “You made me feel like I wasn’t too much. Like I could be needy and anxious and clingy and you’d still choose me. Every day.”

“I did,” you whispered. His heart stopped at the way you said it.. did. Past tense. A dead thing. “Then why didn’t you fight for us?” You swallowed hard. “Because by the time I realized I was fading, I didn’t want to keep you hoping.”

Chris blinked. “You already were my hope.” You both stood like that for a bit. Only feet apart but you felt worlds away. “I’m sorry.” you softly said before turning to grab the last of your things. Chris stood there for a second before also turning and laying down on the bed cuddling into the pillow that still had the smell of you on it. He could hear you shuffling through things and small sniffles again. he knew you were crying.

It was 1:12 when you had finally collected every you could. you silently looked over at the boy you once loved before walking to the door. Chris looked up at you teary eyed. “wait..” your hand stopped on the door handle.

he wiped his nose. “I will always love you.” He muttered. you almost lost right then and there. he almost had hope when you didn’t move. “goodbye Chris.” was all that came out of your mouth as you opened the door and shut it quietly behind you.

He sat in silence for a good second before it all hit him. he bawled. He finally let it feel real. his teary eyes caught the glimpse of your sweater still sitting on the chair. he couldn’t believe it. he got up quickly as his hand shook. his shaky hands wrapped around the fabric pulling it to his face.

he buried his face in it like it might still hold the sound of your voice, the echo of your laugh, and the softness of your goodbye.

just maybe.. this would finally be ending to everything or maybe it was the start of a whole new wave of hurting.

𝓑ᝰ. i love this sm

word count: 1.2k

warnings: angst, emotional neglect, emotional confrontation, relationship breakdown, crying, emotional vulnerability, references to therapy, implied separation, reconciliation themes, emotional distress.

you walk toward the door, feeling yourself nearly crying for the first time in months. nick and matt spoke to you. they spoke to you more than your own boyfriend. 

lost in your thoughts, you barely even hear chris calling your name. 

“y/n.” he repeats, sterner.

you flinch, quickly wiping tears off of your face as you turn to face him. you stand still at the top of the stairs, staring at him. 

“where are you going?” he asks, his voice broken, his eyes red as if he’d been crying. 

you blink at him.

ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ

summary: when ADHD!reader forgotten to take their meds in the morning and is struggling to turn off when chris wants to relax.

wc: 1014

tw: none !! very very fluff ! /ᐠ - ˕ -マᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

You sat on the couch, your legs crossed and your fingers were tapping rhythmically against the fabric. The sunlight streamed through the window, casting warm rays across the room, but you felt anything but calm. Your mind raced with thoughts, ideas, and snippets of conversations that flitted in and out like butterflies, each one demanding your attention. You had forgotten to take her ADHD medication that morning, and now the world felt like it was spinning a little too fast for you to keep up.

Across the room, Chris had just returned from a long day of filming. His body ached, and the exhaustion weighed heavily on him. All he wanted was to lie down, close his eyes, and drift off into a peaceful sleep. He spotted you, your energy palpable, and he sighed, knowing that getting some rest would be a challenge in your current state. “Hey, baby,” he said, sounding cheerful despite the fatigue that threatened to pull him under. “Do you mind if I lie on your lap for a bit?”

“Of course not! That sounds great!” you replied, your voice bubbling with enthusiasm. As Chris settled himself onto your lap, you began to talk animatedly about your day, your words spilling out in a rapid-fire stream. “You won’t believe what happened at the store! I saw this amazing dress, and I thought about getting it for the party next week, but then I remembered I have to pay rent, and then I started thinking about how much I love that pizza place down the street, and—”

Chris chuckled softly, his eyes fluttering shut. He loved your energy, but right now, he needed silence more than anything. “That sounds fun,” he murmured, hoping to encourage you to keep talking but in a quieter way. He nestled his head against your thigh, trying to block out the whirlwind of your thoughts.

But you were on a roll. “And then I was thinking about how we should totally binge-watch that new series tonight! You know, the one with the dragons? I’ve heard it’s so good, and I really want to know what happens next! Oh, and did you see the trailer for that movie coming out next month? I can’t wait to see it! It looks epic!”

As you rambled on, Chris felt himself drifting. He was exhausted, but your voice was like a soothing melody, even if it was a bit too lively for his current state. He tried to focus on your words, but they began to blend together, forming a background hum that both comforted and distracted him. “Y/N,” he said softly, “maybe we could talk about it later?”

“Later? But I have so many ideas! What if we made a list of all the things we want to do this summer? I mean, we could go to the beach, or maybe take a road trip! I’ve always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, and—”

Chris’s mind, already heavy with fatigue, began to feel overwhelmed. “Y/N,” he interrupted gently, “just for a moment… can we pause? I really need to rest.” He opened his eyes, looking up at you, hoping you could see the exhaustion etched on his face.

The realization hit you like a splash of cold water. You glanced down at Chris, his eyes heavy with sleep, and you felt a pang of guilt. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to keep you awake. I just… I just can’t help it sometimes.” You took a deep breath, trying to rein in your thoughts, but they continued to dance around your mind like a chaotic whirlwind.

Chris shifted slightly, trying to find a comfortable position. “It’s okay, really. I love hearing you talk, but I just need a moment to recharge. Can we try to quiet down a bit?”

Y/N nodded, your heart racing as she tried to rein in your thoughts. It was as if she had to wrestle with your mind, pulling back the thoughts that wanted to spill out. “Okay, I’ll try,” you promised, your voice softer now. “Let’s just enjoy the moment.”

As the minutes passed, the room fell into a gentle lull. You focused on the rhythm of Chris’s breathing, the way his body relaxed against your lap. You began to feel a sense of calm wash over you, the chaos in your mind slowly quieting. You could feel the warmth of his weight on her lap, and it made you smile.

But just when you thought she had found your center, a new thought bubbled up. “You know, I was thinking about how we could decorate the apartment! Maybe we could get some plants or—”

“Y/N,” Chris said, his voice a mix of amusement and exhaustion, “I really need you to stop for a second.” He opened his eyes, looking up at you with a gentle smile. “Let’s just enjoy this quiet, okay? I promise we-“ Chris pauses. He doesn’t want to talk later, or now, he wants to fall asleep and succumb to his exhaustion. "...can talk about everything another time?" He closed his eyes again, seeking the solace of silence.

You bit your lip, a wave of frustration washing over you. It wasn't that you didn't want to be quiet for Chris; you genuinely did. It was just that your mind felt like a runaway train, careening down a steep hill with no brakes. You closed her eyes, focusing on your breath, trying to anchor yourself in the present moment. You imagined your thoughts as leaves floating down a stream, watching them pass without latching on to any particular one. It was a struggle, but you persisted, determined to find a moment of peace.

After a few minutes, you felt a shift. The frantic energy began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of groundedness. You ran your fingers softly through Chris's hair, the simple act of touch bringing you further into the present. You realized that sometimes, the most loving thing you could do was to simply be still, to offer Chris the quiet he needed, even if it meant battling your inner chaos. The sunlight continued to stream through the window, now casting a golden glow on their shared moment of tranquility.

a/n: this is very personal to me and is no way glamorising ADHD and the struggles that come with it. The summery is linked to an ADHD research website if you want to further educate yourself </3

thank you for reading my loooves </3

࿐ PRETTY - STURNS

☾ PRETTY. chris’ biggest baby. 19. dark mode. brunette and brown eyed girl. black cat. dark mode. late nights. pierce the veil. slut 4 taco bell. violent love. roses. chocolate milk. red lips 2 white.

༄ more soon..

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, emotional conversations, therapy, crying, mentions of past mental health struggles, fluff, healing.

A/N: I wrote this in honor of mental health awareness month, never be scared to reach out, you are so so loved and appreciated!!

the no video after tour was enough tbh, if you think about it from the other way around, people, including myself, paid thousands of dollars/pounds to be at tour, travelled 16 hours in my case, and then we couldn’t even get a vid.. i completely understand in that case they needed to rest, but wasn’t it like 2 whole weeks since tour ended at that point.

but what’s the excuse now, this isn’t the first time in the past couple months they’ve done this either. the stalking situation cannot be used as reasoning either because matt especially has been the most active he’s been in months this past week, and if that was the issue they would have gone completely silent. if they were to have been silent all week, and not post today because of the situation. i would have 100% understood, i’m sure we all would. but that hasn’t been the case

i get nervous saying this shit because people lick their arses so bad in this fandom. like i love them so much, but it’s okay to call them out. they’ve one ‘public’ obligation a week, to post a 20 minute video on a friday at 2:30. that’s it. they don’t do anything else anymore. it’s not like we’re getting hours of twitch streams, wednesday videos, podcasts or anything. one video is all they gotta do. bare in mind it pays their rent, is their source of income, is the reason they are where they are. like how are we struggling with ts.

of course it’s also okay to be late with things, it happens. but again, this is their job. haven’t they been doing this long enough for this to be a non existent problem anymore. schedule videos if you know your gonna be busy or if there’s a chance your gonna miss a post. but the thing that bothers me if the lack of communication, being almost an hour late at this point is one thing, but for there to also be complete radio silence, is ridiculous. if your running late or even if you aren’t gonna post. it takes a second to tell us. they’ve got no communication skills with us anymore

i understand not wanting to talk to us like they used to, especially after the past week. but it’s still, again, their fucking job to do this shit. i feel like it’s not a lot to expect. this is probaly at this point the most hate they’ve ever gotten in their career with the ‘their falling off’ and ‘their gonna quit soon’ shit, so if that isn’t the case wouldn’t you go out of the way to improve your content and do the absolute most to ensure people stop talking. not to make it worse, again.

i feel like it this point it’s starting to piss everyone off. at the end of the day, their 21 year old men and this is their only job. when they do stuff wrong, we don’t have to baby them and act like the lack of accountability or communication is okay. in their line of work, that is quite literally their only responsibility. and even amongst everything going on with the hate at the minute. they clearly still don’t care.

this obviously isn’t just about not posting today, cs that would be slightly dramatic lol. but this has been a problem for months and months. even before tour. there’s no excuses anymore.

ooo maybe chris comes home late when he promised to do something and completely forgot (maybe it happened several times) or an argument that happened out of built up stress

you’re cleaning pasta sauce off of madi’s face when the clock hits 8:37 p.m.

nicky is already half asleep on the couch, clutching a juice box he swore he had to have before bed, even though he hasn’t touched it in twenty minutes. madi’s in your lap, sticky fingers in your hair, whispering something about a pink dinosaur.

the ipad on the coffee table is still playing the “jake and the neverland pirates” theme song for the millionth time, and the dinner you reheated twice for chris sits untouched on the kitchen table.

“is daddy home?” madi asks softly, eyes blinking slow.

“no, baby,” you murmur. “not yet.”

you try to say it evenly. calmly. like it’s not the third night this week he’s said, “i’ll be home by bedtime,” and then... wasn’t.

how about a rock on my finger?

a part of you remembers a time when chris told his brothers— nate included,— and their whole platform that he would simply not cry during his wedding, and that he didn’t understand the hype in general.

but now, standing face to face with that same man, it’s seems he was a total liar.

you look at him in awe as the lights twinkled around you two, family and friends surrounding the floor that the two of you stood on. iris by the goo goo dolls hummed through the speakers in varying spots around the room— successfully submersing you in the moment.

your arms were hooked around his neck while his hands rested gently on your waist, but he still somehow managed to make you feel like you’d never be let go despite his soft mannerism.

swaying in unison as everyone’s attention was focused solely on you guys, you watch chris’ eyes fill with love and devotion. his suit jacket was long forgotten— laying on the backrest of his chair, which left him in his half-unbuttoned button up and black tie. you saw the way his eyes periodically shifted to your white dress, flowing gracefully across the floor.

“im so in love with you…” you hear him whisper faintly in your ear. what you’re not certain if you heard, however, was the tiny sniffle that came with it.

you maneuver your head to catch the small glint on his cheek, rolling like a delicate raindrop. the corners of your lips twist into a smile— but not in the teasing way, in the most purest, tender, intimate way.

“you big baby,” you coo, your own eyes filling with tears of love. he smiles back, rubbing your lower back with his hands.

“if i had all this to do over again… i’d find my way back to you, over and over baby, i promise.” he professed, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead.

a small pout of warmth spread on your face, causing you to bury your face in the crook of his neck. his hand came up to rest on the back of your head, caressing it gently.

“im just so happy its you.” the whisper came out of your mouth as you lifted your head once more, reaching a hand up to brush a salty tear that tried to escape from his cheek. you shook the dot of runny sodium off your finger before placing a gentle kiss where the tear previously stood.

you swayed slowly as the world seemingly condensed down to just the two of them, but that’s all that mattered anyway.

.✧ ─ ⌞highschoolsweetheart!mom!reader⌝ ⸝⸝ 

.✧ ─ ⌞highschoolsweetheart!dad!chris⌝ ⸝⸝ 

.✧ ─ ⌞nicolas matthew sturniolo⌝ ⸝⸝