PROFESSOR JIGGLY NO

Gttdtd= Going to the desert to die Ditdanbhfa= disappearing into the desert and never being heard from again Gtgttdwiwnbhfa= gotta go, to the desert where I will never be heard from again Ditdnoclfm= disappearing into the desert, no one come looking for me

Even though its annoying as fuck, the 1 minute music intro in porn lets us know that our volume is too loud or our headphones are not plugged in.

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

grandpa got game

neck kissing is honestly the hottest, most seductive thing anybody could ever do to me. if you kiss my neck, if you playfully bite my neck, if your tongue touches my neck i will melt in your fingertips.

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

not if i drink enough alcohol! take that you prying creep

god today i ID’d an old dude buyin booze and he pulled out a fake ID with an elvis pic, then laughed and pulled out a matching one but with curly from three stooges on it, and im like okay please and he finally pulled out his real license and his legal name was steve sinner

that was the devil

this. this is art.

Trust me. I’m a mom.

oh my god i just killed it in the mcdonalds drive thru

she heard my order exactly, i didn’t stutter, no uhhhh from me. clean, normal human interaction, just a fluid conversation. so cool

Quality post