Musical Thoughts of Queer Randomness

This man is actually willy Wonka and he needs to be stopped. Someone needs to stop him. This is out of control.

One of the oldest memes will be forever timeless

Being the only guy who works in a beauty store is fucking hilarious sometimes. Im the only one who can sell our shitty beard shampoo and a not insignificant amount of our customers think im untrustworthy. According to my coworkers i use every mens product we have so they can get dudes to buy a shaving cream. Trying to explain to people that theres no difference between "men's" and "women's" products is like talking to a brick wall. Ive had multiple women get angry with me for sampling them out one of our "men's" moisturizers when they specifically said they wanted a mattifying one to control oil and that's the best one we have for those two things. I still think about the guy who came in asking if we had "masks for men." I contemplate ending it all every time someone returns a completely unused product that they absolutely refuse to try just because it either says or doesnt say "for men" on it. 90% of the time its the perfect product for them. I had a lady who was willing to buy a worse product for her needs that was more expensive just so it wouldnt say it was for men. Are you ever tired? Are you ever exhausted? These are the same kinds of people who say that im the one whos obsessed with gendering everything because im trans.

My coworkers call me the diversity hire. Theres like 3 men in this company in all of western canada so i think we should get t shirts and go out for drinks sometime. I found out recently that my boss was talking about hiring another guy so that "damien can have a friend."

What i dont tell them is that i now get territorial every time another guy comes in to drop off his resume. I dont show it but i can feel my hackles raising and my pre-domesticity instincts kicking in every time some guy threatens to usurp my position as "only guy here." I know thats a completely unwarranted reaction but its so fucking funny. My coworkers are out here wondering if i feel out of place and lonely without any guy friends at work to be bros with and when a man applies for a job i get the urge to bite him like a beast

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

This is the only correct way

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

bbc sherlock wants what i have

Fastfood workers carry more weight in society than any giant robot.

hi gay people in my phone how are you

I love how we've lost the plot so thoroughly on what "pov" means as far as a TikTok/reel/whatever and now it's functionally the same as rod serling saying "imagine if you will"