chocoramii

Chapter 1 of my Western AU! Gideon x reader┃Caleb x reader┃Caleb x Gideon x reader CW: pseudo-incest, sibling incest, explicit sexual content (more tags on AO3)

Word count - 18.4k Your brother leaves you behind to become a cowboy, and as Gideon tries to piece you back together, you decide to go out into the great desert to hunt down the man who betrayed you. But first, you must remain in college with Gideon to prepare for the wild to come.

For @chocoramii!! Happy birthday :)

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Your brother, bless his heart, left you to become a cowboy. Now, you're a good woman and you don't exactly know what being a cowboy truly entails, but neither does your brother. You both live a decent life, raised in church together, orphans from a house fire. You asked your brother once what exactly had happened to cause the fire, but all he had for an answer was a shaken look and lips that could not bring themselves to move. You decided then to never ask him of anything that he may not want to tell, this unfortunately meant you had no idea he would run off to become a rootin'-tootin' cowboy. A life of crime! Oh, and what would Mother say?

"That boy was always troubled," she said as she shook her head.

You follow in her steed and shake your head in the same ashamed manner. Lifting the cup of hot bitter coffee to your mouth, wincing a bit since it was from a freshly brewed pot. The grains scratch your tongue as you force yourself to swallow. "Yes, I believe so." You downplay your own disappointment and pretend to agree. The two of you had been admitted to a nice school, Mother agreed to pay for a room that you would both share, and he had thrown it all away. He had forced you to study for years for this chance, locked himself shut in the closet to read by candlelight memorizing the shape of machines.

I want to be an inventor. He made you aware of his dream. One night you find him, your arms spread wide pushing the wooden closet doors open after borrowing some garden shears to cut the chains he tied onto the handles.

You imprison yourself for such a simple dream? And you knew instantly by the twitch of his right eye and deepening frown, you had said the wrong thing.

You would apologize if it were not for the fact you were right, as you always are. Yet, crude sister you are, for not believing in your brother's dreams. It's not that you doubt him, no, quite the opposite. Rather, you are the spoiled one, simply wanting time with him all for yourself. You wanted to pester him in the dim light and ask him questions until you found one he could not answer—non-personal questions. For when it came to matters of the soul and the geometry of his heart, he always made himself obscure. A maze to journey through and you, as the little sister, are thoroughly impatient. Fire in your bosom, burning with this heat to run.

But you are a woman before you are a sister, not to him, but to the world. So, you won't run wild—not like him. You follow in the footsteps of Mother, playing the perfect widow, dabbing your eyes with a handkerchief as she is. Pretending you couldn't fathom why one would run away from a perfectly set life. Discovery is a matter for men unlike your brother who is sensitive and kind; he who would dab your eyes, just like you're doing now, and harness this melodic voice that'd move you to stay still and silent.

No need to cry, I'm here, I'm here. Like a mother caressing her child, loving words stitched together, naturally coming to her in motherhood. How funny it is that this mother you imagine is, in fact, your dear brother who had just abandoned you! Wicked bastard! These tears are not false, but they are not somber things, they are filled with a palpable rage. You too wanted to run, but instead of inviting you with him, he had went off on his own. Stolen white stallion, "Lookfar!" they called out for the horse. Alas, he was gone with your brother who showed no signs of flying off on his own until now. Always, he and you—attached at the hip—your voices intertwined and there was never a time where your laughter would not follow his.

Out of everything that was shown in the third myth this really interests me the most.

MC is just saturated in black and crimson colors, it makes sense since they're in the underworld right now but it's just interesting to see. Almost like she was born of the filth that Caleb is so set on removing from her. She seems to draw in a lot of Ghosts, perhaps her nature is darker than Caleb would really want to admit. Also, they are siblings! It makes sense for MC to share a lot of that darkness he has innate in him.

A lot of talk of intertwined lotuses in this trailer too! The roots are wrapped around each other, more womb imagery. Not only this but the river which is the flow of life that they cross over. I'm really loving that MC is walking into the shadows while Caleb is entering the light. He's relinquishing to her wants for him to have a better life, I'm not sure but it's possible she's the one sacrificing herself for him this time.

The bridge acts like a symbolic womb, it is the transitional space isolated from life and death where an individual can fall victim to either one. In a lot of media twins cannot coexist, one must die for the other to have a full life— I wonder if this is what we're seeing right now.

Obviously, we can see the lotus which is symbolic of reincarnation especially from "muddy waters".

Notice when he kills the Ghost it looks like mud! Like pure filth! Death is night, life is light. We are doused in shadow for the majority of this myth trailer until Caleb walks towards the light on the bridge. There is also no talk about the sun! Caleb mentions the flowers and the moon. He doesn't consider life for himself, he considers it for MC.

This is likely the ritual that reincarnates them. But something very exciting is that this is something that occurs in traditional Chinese weddings! Newly weds will drink from separate cups with their arms interlinked for their future happiness. It's like they're brought to life by way of their love!

Or perhaps she is drinking her way to death so he may live? I guess we'll find out!

Split Heaven and Earth... I'm reminded a lot of Fuxi and Nuwa but that could be bias talking because I wrote a lengthy fic of them based on that myth, haha. But this is the split between Caleb and his sister, is that possible? She may enter the human world whilst he walks into Heaven? Hmm, a lot to consider.

Chains are also very important! Shackled to the Underworld by fate, how does she free him? I wonder... I theorize with her life.

"Brother and sister who are inseparable in life and death."

Beautiful, stunning, no notes. He will find her in the "human world" just as he has defended her in the Underworld.

Also, very small nitpick but in English he says "I won't let a Ghost approach you again." but in Chinese he says something more akin to "I won't let those Demons or Ghosts appear before you ever again."

Very different! It implies that Caleb's plan is to allow MC to reincarnate into the "human world" where Demons and Ghosts do not exist at all!

Caleb x reader CW: pseudo-incest, implied sexual content, somnophilia, dubious consent

Word count - 4.8k Your mother remarried and you found yourself in possession of an older brother. The two of you make a strange pair, but strange isn't so bad.

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Your mother remarried and you found yourself in possession of an older brother. A bigger, unfamiliar house comes with an older brother— as if it could erase your uneasiness as you shift into a new life. With the house came a large backyard riddled with clovers. That is where you found your now brother, hands covered in dirt as he scoured on all fours for something.

"What are you looking for?" Curiosity getting the best of you before anxiety could reach you first.

He looks back at you wide-eyed seeming almost like a cat frightened half to death. You're so amused you have to hold back a laugh. "A four-leaf clover," he said a bit dim.

"What for?" You decide to close the gap between him and you by stepping off the concrete and onto the green sea which he crawled over.

He chews on his lip, sweat on his brow. It dawns on you that he might be embarrassed, and suddenly, you find yourself flush at the thought. To think you've already brought your brother some alarm at your presence on first meeting! What little sister you are— what if he prefers his own company and you had just interrupted his peace?

"For you," he finally spoke, hushed by the summer breeze.

You blink. "For me?"

He nods awkwardly as he comes to stand, a head taller than you. His grip on the clovers he had already collected tightens and you tap his fist, signaling him to loosen his hold lest they crumple. "Ah," he immediately understands you, "I could only find two, I'm sorry." He opens his palm up and you behold a pair of four-leaf clovers already slightly wilted.

You can't help yourself, you begin to laugh.

It's strange, he should be angered by your disregard of his peace offering but he's enamored by your weightless laughter. Instead of admonishing you for being quite crude, he watches you with a great wonder. It's a dizzying feeling as he searches your face for some sort of secret he may not know, the same bubbling sensation that tickles the back of his head as he cranes his neck to look at the sky. It is unnatural for a man to fly, just as it is unnatural for him to be the witness of your careless joy. He is a boy after all, and at his age, boys and girls don't know each other very well.

But you are his sister, not just a girl.

"What will I do with these clovers?" you ask, stumbling over your own laughter.

"I thought" — he mumbles whilst kicking the dirt of this ever growing garden — "that it'd be my first gift to you. Since we're siblings now," he says siblings very quietly as though it is a secret only the two of you share.

Touched by his thoughtfulness you feel ashamed of yourself for not thinking to gift your brother the same kindness he gave freely out to you. Family is not something you're knowledgeable on, your memories (though there are not many since you are only seven) consist only of your mother's face.

Apparently, you come from a faraway island. Your mother, with gentle fingers, would flip through her binder of pictures of the home she once had. Flourishing emerald green recollections of her mother you will never know. This is me! she exclaimed and you peered through the shadow of your mother's shape under the bleary sun only to find a chubby baby shoving a toy into its mouth.

That's you? You sat in bewilderment, unsure of what to say. She looked very soft then, reminiscing a life she can't remember and a life you could never share with her. One day, she whispered, I will take you back home.

Upon seeing your brother you wonder if there is a point in going back "home" at all. So, you pick up a clover and place it behind your ear as the winds threaten to pluck it away. "Thank you," you begin, but quickly realize you don't know his name.

"Caleb," he says with an enormous grin. "Caleb Xia."

"Thank you, Caleb." You take the remaining clover to press it gently behind his ear so you two can match. He bends down slightly so it's easier to reach him and your heart pounds as his cheeks glow red.

Here begins your bloom; you learn life under a roof with a companion who loves you and wishes to know you as much as you wish to know him, is something you had deeply longed for without ever knowing. He dedicated himself to you; hidden in the crevices of your creaking room as your mother and father fix up the old house, helping you with summer homework and drawing creatures and vines all over your arms. You return the favor with your own clumsy lines and ugly flowers. Your parents would look at each other before sighing upon seeing your ink covered arms. Neither Caleb nor you seem to mind the messy newfound love shared between siblings, and so, these drawings would often take a week to be scrubbed off completely.

Gideon x reader CW: contains slight sexual content, alcohol consumption, fluff

Word count - 6.4k Gideon invites you to his farewell party shortly after telling you he's transferring to aviation school. You're absolutely miserable about it.

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Half his face is fogged, running hot despite the cold of winter. "So, you're coming right?" His eyes flutter about like he's nervous what your answer will be. What an incredibly funny man he is. He does this often, reaching out to you in this desperate but fearful manner. Will she reject me? His expression seems to be caught in purgatory, wondering about you.

Shouldn't you leave this part of yourself for the girl you like? You wonder. Imagining him floundering with another girl makes you sick, you pray for whoever he'll end up with. He'll be waiting at the front for his wife-to-be and all she can see is his face flushed red, attempting to display his friendly affections to some other woman. You should answer him soon, he looks like he's drowning while upright on land. "I guess," you say with no real commitment because he will hear your confirmation and forget about you. What everyone fears is rejection, but that's it. The love they want are from a select few. So, you can say I guess because it means he will leave you alone as long as you don't push him away.

"Amazing," he sighs, relieved. "I even brought your favorite board game. Maybe I should've mentioned that first. Ticket to Ride, right?" He blabbers on and on as you observe him, feeling the distance between him and you as if it's a real, palpable thing manifesting into the steam that's escaping from his lips.

You want to respond to him with words, but you just nod dumbly as he lists all the things you like.

"I know you don't really drink so there's really no pressure. I have soda and stuff obviously." He waves his hands around summoning this memory of his decked out fridge in some strange, fantastical wizardry. He often lives in his own world, it makes you laugh even now. Gideon lights up at the sound of your crackling joy and speaks with more fervor than before about all the things he has memorized about you, all things he did for you. "It's a simple party," he claims.

"With thirty people," you add on.

"Mm," his voice pitches up, "maybe thirty-two?" He can't look at you in the eyes.

"Oh, I'm sure you can make it thirty-five," you chuckle into your hot coffee.

"What if I lied and it's actually closer to forty?"

"Oh, Gideon," you tut.

He likes it when you say his name, but he would never tell you that. He'd rather coax it out of you, cast you under a spell and whenever you say his name three times he'll appear. In fact, he wouldn't be able to contain his excitement and just show up right in front of you at the first syllable.

"Now, why would you lie to me?" You shove him lightly.

"Because I want you to come."

It's your turn to fumble, mouth opening and closing, meanwhile you force your head down as to not look at him. You fill your mouth up with coffee instead. Black because you didn't have the funds to buy milk and now you can't stand the taste of anything in your crude. "Then has everything been a lie?" you joke.

The only choice he makes is to be with MC, or did he? If he was born from her rib, does he have a choice to love her? Did Lucifer have any choice but to love God? Does a love interest in an Otome game have any choice but to love you? And would you gift him agency if it spells rebellion?

What I am saying is far more radical: he has no choice. Satan cannot have a rebellion if the idea to rebel was never organically his but rather part of fate designed by God. But, ultimately, Satan is the ruler of Hell. That cannot be understated, since Caleb also plays an active role. If it means anything in the long run is highly questionable.

The tragedy does not come from his choice to perpetually suffer or to choose MC over his own well-being. No, the tragedy comes from the fact he literally has zero choice. It is simply an illusion, there is nothing he can do that hasn't already been planned. Satan does not have a rebellion and neither does Caleb. There is no such thing as free will or choice if God is all knowing and all powerful.

But Caleb has always carefully selected the "exception". Wondering if he doesn't always have to play by the rules. What I find so entertaining about this is that he is a program, a character scripted to entertain you and to "love" you as the player, much like Lucifer to God. That brings me back to the question: would you gift him a will if it means potentially losing him? Is a robot worth preserving if it cannot do its assumed function? And if God is all good why does Satan exist?

Caleb, by all means, is an oppressive presence and he doesn't shrink under the spotlight. He does incredible under pressure and the reason for the ironic twist of his passion for control is because there are forces outside of him that keep it out of reach. Man is incapable of choice; Eve was tempted by Satan, Satan was created by God. There is no order in which Caleb can make any choice. It is in his nature to have no control over his life or what others may dictate it to be. He is a robot, he is a machine. It is impossible for a program to make a decision outside of its script.

Ao3 link

Happy new year (in 3 days)! The year of the Horse comes rushing in!

I present to you my submission for the Folded Wishes event.

I read Katabasis by R. F. Kuang and played Hades 2 and thought: wow, I should mix these things! And so I did. Be weary of the tags, be wearier of the tags that I may not have listed.

Below I've put my deleted intro! Enjoy and happy reading.